I hadn’t learned the sex, I refused to know, hadn’t even glanced at the ultrasound and flatly refused to hear any news except to learn if the baby was growing healthy or not (he or she was).
I wasn’t admitting to myself why but I knew I did it because if I was still in Korwahk, Lahn and I wouldn’t know until the golden moment.
So here, I didn’t want to know either.
I moved to the door, turned out the lights in my office and met my father at the front door he was holding open for me.
Then I went home to put on my new pregnancy dress and say good-bye to the other me as she started her life in her new world.
* * * * *
I looked out the window at the rain as my best friend Marlene deep breathed in front of me.
“No kidding?” she asked.
My eyes went to her and I shook my head.
I’d just told her what I’d told Pop about loving Lahn and why I left anyway. This included the stories I’d shared with him on the ride there (and through his first three beers at the party) stories of Ghost, Diandra, Narinda, Zahnin and Sabine, challenges for the Dax and bloody fights in a tent.
Amongst other things.
She was freaking out and binge drinking.
I was deciding that my tactic of talking about it didn’t make me feel any better and also deciding I was her ride home (as well as Pop’s, I’d already confiscated his keys, they were in my purse).
“Wow,” Marlene breathed. “So… he was hot?”
I looked out the window. “Very hot.”
“And he was good in –” she started.
I cut her off not looking at her. “Very.”
“Girl,” she drawled out so the one word syllable had seven.
I sighed.
Her hand touched my arm and I felt her get close so I looked to her to see her face had grown soft.
God, I loved Marlene.
“Honey, are you sure you don’t want to go to that witch?” she asked quietly.
Except, right then, I didn’t love her so much.
“I told you, no.”
“Circe, really, I don’t know. You have a baby on the way.”
“I know and it’s still no.”
Her eyebrows went up. “But maybe he’s back there pining for you, kicking himself that he screwed things up, wanting you home. Maybe he’s worried about you, where you are, where his baby is, wondering if you’re both all right. Did you think of that?”
No, I hadn’t. Though Lahn pining for me was a joke. He was probably raping and pillaging and cutting people up with his sword.
And he had the Xacto to turn to.
“I don’t care,” I replied. “But, no, in truth, I haven’t thought of that but Lahn is not the kind of man who pines. He can get what he needs from a variety of women and he can have another wife in a less than a year and a half. And most of the women he could chose from would be panting to have him. He’ll be just fine.”
“Cir –”
I pulled my arm from her hold but grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Really, honestly, honey, like I said… no. He’ll be fine, I’ll be fine and my baby will be fine. No witch. No going back. And I want another baby shower after I have this kid and at that one…” I grinned, “you serve alcohol.”
She stared at me. Then she grinned back.
Marlene was over the moon she was giving me my shower. She’d been planning it since she found out I was keeping the baby which was the day she first saw me back and learned I was pregnant. Half of Seattle was attending. She’d asked my friends, her friends, her friend’s friends and had probably put an announcement in the paper with an open invitation (just as long as they brought gifts). When I’d registered at the baby store, she’d jerked the scanner thing out of my hand, made my selections and I could swear I saw drool on her lip once, she was so rabid. She was baby bonkers. She couldn’t wait for me to have this kid.
Okay, I was back to loving Marlene.
Therefore, I let her hand go, pulled her in my arms and hugged her.
“Love you, baby,” I whispered in her ear, she gave me a squeeze and whispered the same words back.
I pulled away and turned my head when I heard my father shout, “Time for fuckin’ cake!” and I saw him walk out of Ernie’s kitchen (Ernie was one of Pop’s best friends, Pop and his boys ate lunch at Ernie’s greasy spoon practically every day if their move was even a little close to it and therefore Circe’s party was at Ernie’s).
He had a big, rectangular cake in his hands, the kind with white frosting, thick frosting swirls around the edges and massive frosting flowers, these yellow. His face was brightly illuminated by the candles burning on the cake and his eyes were brightly lit at the thought he’d soon be eating birthday cake.
Seriously, my Pop was birthday cake mad. He’d serve birthday cake with candles if a new day dawned if he could.
He walked toward Circe and he was, for some reason, starting a chorus of “For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow”.
I looked to Circe who was beaming.
She was happy, no doubt about it. She was safe in this world, my friends and family had accepted her (and our story, weirdly) without qualm (well, by the time I got there they had).
She was no longer the toy of a tyrant or the plaything of a ship full of pirates.
She was free.
This was good.
Very good.
Two good things came out of this. Circe was smiling, her eyes alight and I had a life I knew I’d hold precious currently kicking in my belly.
I smiled.
“Circe?” Marlene called and I turned to look at her.
She looked alarmed.
“Circe!” she shrieked and I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t get words to come out and everything, Marlene, the restaurant behind her, the booths, everything was… it was…
It was melting!
Oh fuck!
My head snapped to my father.
“Pop!” I screamed but nothing came out even as I saw the wavy vision of him drop the cake to the ground and start running my way.
He didn’t make it.
All had gone black.
Then it went bright with sparkling shots of pure gold.
Then I was standing in the middle of a cham, a fire burning behind me and a woman with wild, ratty-assed hair wearing a rough sarong tied around her neck fell in a dead faint to the stone at my feet.
I saw movement in the shadows.
It came toward me.
I looked up as it formed into a man’s body and when I did I looked into Lahn’s dark eyes.
“No,” I whispered as he kept coming at me.
I lifted a shaky hand, palm up toward him as my eyes drifted down to the woman at my feet. She was out like a light.
She’d depleted her magic bringing me back.
My eyes went back to Lahn to see he was upon me, the hard muscle of his chest at my palm. I took a step back, he moved fast as lightning and I was lifted in his arms.
