cleared, I straightened by shoulders and looked back at him. “But you are Dax and you are warrior, so obviously, you are free to do as you will.”
That was when he growled, “You will not leave me.”
I didn’t respond.
“You will never leave me.”
I kept my silence, held his eyes and we went into stare down.
He broke it by stating, “You will never leave me, Circe, in any way you could leave me.”
I didn’t know what that meant exactly but I didn’t ask nor did I get the chance because he kept talking.
“To make that so, I will not ever take another woman but you.”
I sucked in a hopeful breath as I felt my eyes grow round at his capitulation but he wasn’t done and when he spoke his voice was way lower than normal and it rumbled through the tent.
“You have this one warning, I will not repeat it and I will point out that I have not once asked you to alter any of who you are. Not once. You are not of my people and you behave in ways that are strange to me, yet you seem not to understand that this is true. But never have I asked you to change who you are.”
I winced because this was true. He expected me to accept his way of life but he never asked me to change who I was.
He continued. “This is the last concession I will make for you. I am who I am, I am Korwahk, I am warrior, I am Dax and you must accept me as what I am. I may have forced my body on yours but I did not force your love, you gave it to me knowing who I am. As we live our lives, you cannot decide to disagree with parts of that and then decide to take your love away, Circe. I’ll not live like that. Therefore, you need to reflect on this, come to your peace with it and never, my golden queen, never request another such concession from me.”
My lips parted to respond but he didn’t give me the chance. He prowled to the cham flaps, slapped them back and he was gone.
He didn’t return until very late but I was awake when he did. I stayed still in our bed until he joined me in it and I knew how angry he still was when he didn’t curl into me or pull me to him but settled on his back not touching me.
So I whispered hesitantly into the cham, “Thank you for…” I paused then, “It was important to me, thank you.”
Lahn didn’t respond.
I forged ahead. “I will um… process things and come to peace with my life with you and the Korwahk.”
Nothing from Lahn.
I kept going. “I’ll, uh… never ask for another concession again, I promise.”
To that I got a growled, “Promise never to leave me.”
I closed my eyes tight, rolled, scooted to him and got up on an elbow but rested my other hand on his chest.
When my eyes locked with his, I whispered, “I promise never to leave you, baby.”
And I said it like I meant it because I did. And in that moment, he didn’t know that I actually gave up a world for him. But the weight of my words still communicated that.
He glared up at me, then his arms shot around me, pulling me down, his lips captured mine and then he rolled me to my back.
The next morning he left.
And tomorrow he would be home.
I know it sounded crazy, but I couldn’t wait.
I missed my king.
* * * * *
“Oh Circe!” Nahka called through the throng surrounding the fabric stall, she was holding up a bolt of pure gold silk that shimmered in the sun, “You must have this! It was made for our golden queen!”
She was beaming at me brighter than the gold silk she held in her hand.
I smiled back at her and twisted my head to Teetru who stood just slightly behind me. “Could you go buy some of that for a sarong for me?” She nodded then I went on, “And, choose something you like for you and pieces for Jacanda, Packa, Gaal and Beetus. My girls need something pretty. For sarongs and tops too.”
She blinked at me in shock and stayed unmoving.
So I grinned at her, took her hand, gave it a squeeze and urged with a jerk of my head toward the stall, “Go.”
Her body jolted physically before she nodded then hurried forward.
I felt a hand curl around my elbow and looked to my other side. It was Sabine.
“Can I speak with you?” she asked in Korwahk.
She’d taken to the language and was getting pretty good at it. She wasn’t as good at it as me, of course. I was, I was pleased to say, nearly fluent. But she hadn’t had as much practice though she was better at it that Anastasie, who was struggling. Claudine was still giving them daily lessons.
She had also not shared what was happening with her and Zahnin and not one of my posse pried. That said, I was in her cham twice when he came in. The first time was some weeks ago and she’d instantly gone tense but not with fear, still simply guarded. The second time was two days ago and she’d bitten her lip before she’d offered him a tentative smile. Neither time did he repeat soft words or a gentle touch like he had weeks ago but both times his eyes went warm and his mouth went soft when he saw her.
My hope was, he was breaking through.
At that moment, when she pulled us slightly back and out of the crowd, Bain moving with us, I would find out he definitely was.
She looked shyly at Bain and I knew she didn’t want him to overhear.
I gave him a look and asked, “Can Sabine and I have a moment of privacy?”
His eyes went from me to Sabine to me again. Then his mouth twitched. Then he stepped out of hearing distance.
Sabine didn’t delay. She launched right in. “Can I be forthright?”
I nodded.
She studied me then said, “I mean, really forthright.”
I struggled against a giggle and nodded again.
“I, er… need your advice,” she stated.
“About what, sweetheart?” I asked.
“About,” her eyes slid away, she bit her lip and then they came back to me, “er… Zahnin, my, um… husband.”
I turned to face her, folding my hand on hers still at my elbow and whispered, “I’ll do my best. Tell me what you need.”
She was looking up at me again and I saw pink tinge her cheeks.
Then she spoke quickly in somewhat broken Korwahk, “He doesn’t er… he has been… for some time, he has been… changed. At first, he was, it was… not good. I was, you know, I’ve told you, I had no idea what was happening. But, I got to the point where, I don’t know, I decided… er, since it kept happening, I knew it wasn’t going to stop. So, uh, anytime he touched me, I just,” her face flamed deeper pink and she whispered, “got to my knees, pulled up my nightgown and put my face in the bed, like he always took me so he would just… get it over with.”
Oh God. How hideous.
I let her hand at my elbow go, grabbed her other one, held it to my chest and whispered, “I’m so sorry, my sweet girl.”
She nodded and bit her lip. “Thank you,” she whispered back then she drew breath into her nose and kept whispering, “He was my first.”
Oh God. She was a virgin.
I squeezed her hand. “Oh Sabine, I’m so sorry.”
“I… didn’t like it,” she shared what I knew was an extreme understatement.
“You wouldn’t,” I told her. “Of course not. I understand that.”
She nodded again and then moved an inch closer. “But, he has not done that to me. Not for weeks.”
