“Never,” he quickly replied. “She tried. She lost her temper before she broke me, and she hurt me too badly for me to survive as a human. She preferred to change me rather than admit defeat, and by the time she realized she couldn’t control me, I was too influential in her empire for her to destroy me.” He continued before Turquoise could respond. “It sounds like Jaguar has experienced the same sense of familiarity with you,” Nathaniel added.
“You, I could believe,” Turquoise retorted. “But I’ve heard enough about Jaguar’s life to know we have nothing in common. Cathy had a perfect life before Daryl took her.” She could hear the bitterness in her voice. She had spent eighteen years as a blissful innocent before being thrown abruptly into pain. She had barely survived the break.
Would she rather have had Jaguar’s life? She had lost everything to Daryl, but at least she had good memories, faded as they were.
Nathaniel shook his head. “Jaguar’s trying to break away from Jeshickah. He won’t be able to do that until she’s dead, and even then I doubt he’ll ever fully manage it. You’re trying to break away from Daryl—”
“I
Nathaniel just nodded, and tactfully changed the subject. “What’s your plan now?”
“I don’t have one,” she answered honestly.
“Are you going back to Bruja?”
“Of course. I’ve got Challenge to fight,” she responded immediately, though the moment she said the words she wondered about them. Eric’s questions about Cathy’s dreams fluttered around in her brain, brushing uncomfortably against her thoughts.
Nathaniel had introduced her to Bruja. She had entered the guild as a chance to get strong, and to learn to defend herself. She had not intended for it to be her whole life, but hunting had consumed her. What else was she supposed to do? Sitting in classrooms didn’t strike her as something she could survive. Chatting with Greg had given her a good idea of how distant her life was now from the one she had once planned.
Nathaniel sensed her uneasiness, and turned the conversation from personal to general. “They say one of the original founders of Bruja was a vampire.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Turquoise answered. “The guilds aren’t known for their humanity. Is the vampire still . . . alive?” It seemed strange, asking if a vampire was alive, but English didn’t have a better word.
“She’s alive,” Nathaniel answered. His voice was light, almost humorous. “But she refuses to answer whether the rumor is true. She alternates between living as a reclusive artist, and cutting an unmerciful, bloody swath through human society. Everyone needs balance, I suppose.”
Turquoise chuckled, imagining the contrast.
Nathaniel’s expression clouded; he reached into his jacket pocket for something. “Jaguar suspected you would be in contact with me. He wanted me to give you this.” Reluctantly, he handed over a sealed letter.
“Have you read it?” Just because the letter was sealed didn’t mean Nathaniel hadn’t opened it.
“Jaguar paid me well,” Nathaniel replied. “He’s worked with enough mercenaries to mention I wasn’t allowed to read it.” If Jaguar hadn’t specifically included that clause, Nathaniel would have broken the seal without hesitation. A major part of his business was information.
On the flip side, if Nathaniel took money for his client’s confidentiality, he would never violate it.
As Turquoise slit the envelope, Nathaniel added, “He’s trying to respect your wish for privacy, but if you really don’t want him to know where you are, you have to get rid of the boy.” Turquoise’s gaze lifted in an involuntary glare, in response to which Nathaniel flashed a harmless smile. She had agreed to take care of Eric; she wouldn’t ditch him. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t go for it. But the kid belongs to Jaguar. Any trainer can track his slaves, no matter where they go.”
She absorbed the information as she read the short note Jaguar had written, which invited her to meet him at a place of her choosing, at a time of her choosing. She could send an answer via Nathaniel.
What did she have to lose? She wanted to know what was happening with Jeshickah, and when Eric could safely return to the place he considered his home.
Honestly, she admitted to herself that she also missed Jaguar. He had been a rare curiosity, a splash of warmth and sincerity after two years in the cold darkness of a hunter’s life. Even embroiled in all the power struggles and chaos of his world, Jaguar had a kind of wistful innocence that Turquoise could not help but envy.
Besides, a little companionship would be nice. Greg was sweet, and she was sure he would be willing to fill the empty hours she had on her hands, but it was hard to imagine a close friendship with him. He didn’t know, couldn’t know, what her life was like. How close could she get to someone who didn’t even know the monsters existed, after she had fought them tooth and nail for her very sanity?
She invited Jaguar to meet her in a cafй in the town center.
“I’ve told you before, you’re mad,” Nathaniel informed her, as he took the message. “But it’s never seemed to change your mind.”
CHAPTER 19
JAGUAR SHOWED UPexactly on time. Turquoise blinked at her first glimpse of him in the doorway, trying to assure herself it was really the vampire she knew.
Jaguar would attract eyes everywhere he went; he would never be able to blend into a small town. But he was trying.
His hair had been brushed back from his face and tied, so from the front it appeared short. He was wearing jeans; that alone was weird. They were black, faded a bit at the knees, but seeing Jaguar in denim was a shock. He was also wearing a very simple dark green T-shirt. Turquoise had grown so used to seeing bare caramel skin that he looked odd fully dressed.
He could pass for human. When he tried, he could look almost normal. If they had been in any city, no one would have looked twice at him.
“You’re looking . . . bland.” The words were out of her mouth before she could consider them.
Jaguar laughed, sliding into the seat opposite her. “I could veil the mind of every human in here so they wouldn’t notice me, but it requires more concentration than I feel like expending.”
“You’re getting stares, anyway,” Turquoise pointed out, nodding toward a teenage girl a few tables away.
Jaguar glanced at the girl, who suddenly turned back to her food as if she had forgotten Jaguar was present. The brief display of power was unnerving.
“Man of many talents,” Turquoise murmured.
“And I’ll admit to at least half of them,” he quipped.
Since she knew Nathaniel’s words would eat at her thoughts until she had the answer, she ventured, “Nathaniel said something about your being able to track Eric if you wanted to. That another of your talents?” At Jaguar’s nod, she asked, “How?”
“Eric’s mine,” he answered, as if that explained it. Turquoise’s confusion must have showed, because he elaborated, “The connection’s not as strong as a blood bond, but I recognize his mind, and I can find it if I look. I don’t work as a trainer anymore, so I don’t usually take advantage of the bond, but it’s still a habit to make the connection with any mind not strong enough to lock me out.”
Turquoise remembered with distinct disquiet the times when Jaguar’s mind had brushed hers. “Does that include me?”
“You put up walls that keep everyone out,” Jaguar answered. The lack of a yes or a no made Turquoise uneasy. “You’ve dropped them around me before. I try not to take advantage of people who trust me—they’re rare enough as it is.”
Trust was an almost obscene word inside the mercenary world; it meant you were always susceptible to betrayal. Turquoise was struck with the desire to argue with Jaguar as soon as he spoke the word, but he was right. She
