friend, but I can’t help that it hurts my feelings just a tad that he considered Tim first.
And being the woman that has repetitively held up a barrier to Flynn’s feelings for me, I am one seriously twisted chick to even be offended by that.
Still, it’s not possible for me to go. “It sounds great, Flynn. Truly. But I don’t have that type of money to spend and before you even open your mouth to offer to pay for my expenses, I just want you to know I’ll punch you in the face if you do.”
Flynn’s mouth was halfway open to argue with me about the expenses but my threat to punch him has it snapping shut.
I stand up from the couch, giving in to the urge I had a few minutes ago... to ruffle Flynn’s hair. I reach down and do just that, his eyes burning into me with frustration and affection. “Now, I’m going to go get some sleep. See you in the morning.”
I turn away before the brief touch of my hand against Flynn’s head induces “The Happening” to occur and content myself to allow my dreams to give me what I really want.
18
Tonight is going to be interesting. Emily has talked a group of us into going out to a new nightclub, called Grind. She cooked this up with her roommate, Fil, because both of them love to dance. She wanted Nix to go, who would rather have his right nut cut off, so I got roped into going with him so he would have someone to talk to while Emily and Fil tear the dance floor up.
Of course, I wasn’t going to leave Rowan at home by herself. When I told her about it, I expected her to balk because she doesn’t seem like the time to go clubbing, but she jumped all over that, even exclaiming, “I love to dance.”
That obviously sent my brain into overload with vivid scenes playing out before me of her dancing. I imagine it would be provocative and sexy, and yeah, my dick perks up in interest just thinking about it.
The past several weeks have been amazing in a unique way, just not exactly in the way I want. I’ve developed a very strong bond with Rowan. She’s the first close friend that I’ve had that was a girl, and Renner doesn’t count because she’s my sister and a pain in the ass more than fifty percent of the time.
Rowan is never a pain in the ass though. She is always there to listen to me, and even though she is only twenty-three years old, her life experience has made her wise with sharply honed common sense. She’s given me advice that has been sound, well thought out, and fair on more than one occasion. She is patient and thoughtful, and my day brightens when I’m in her presence.
Best of all, I have watched Rowan morph into an amazingly confident and self-possessed woman. It’s not that she wasn’t confident before, because she was. But it was a confidence that was bordered with sharp angles and deep edges. It was built from a tough life and by being rejected by her parents. Rather than breaking her down, her dad’s final rejection of her emboldened her to become everything he said she would not be.
And she survived.
But Rowan’s new confidence is something to behold. It’s softer, and it’s bright. It comes from deep inside a woman who has decided to let go of her misery and forge a new path. I truly believe that has come about after Rowan opened up and told me about her parents and their lack of affection or interest.
Now, while the past several weeks have been spectacular as I build a solid friendship with Rowan, I feel absolutely empty at times because I want so much more. I want to take this friendship we have, and I want to build on it. I want to take it to the next level, and yes, that means I want to make love to her.
I believe she wants it to, and I truly believe she will come around. I only have to wait until that day when she can trust fully that it’s okay to take the risk.
So I am patient.
Now, when Rowan steps out of her bedroom and I see how she’s dressed to go clubbing, I don’t know that I am so patient. In fact, all the resolve that I have been manifesting in respecting her friendship barrier seems to be disappearing at this very moment.
She’s got on a black and white dress that fits her body like a glove, and it’s the first time that I’ve actually ever seen her body outlined in such sharp relief. The top portion of the dress has thick, black stripes across her breasts, which only serves to draw my eye to the deep cleavage she’s showing. Thin, black straps hold the dress onto her shoulders, and she’s got it all topped off with some killer black heels that have little straps that wrap around her ankles.
I try to stop myself but I cannot help the way my eyes travel slowly up and down her body. If my dad were here right now, he’d knock me up against the back of my head for the way my gaze is molesting her. When I reach her eyes, she’s looking at me with amusement, which shakes me out of my lust just a tiny bit.
“Like what you see?” she teases.
“I’d be dead not to,” I quip. “You look amazing.”
Rowan is so brashly confident, I would expect her to maybe spin around and show off all her assets. But my compliment actually has her eyes lowering to the floor and her cheeks heating up with a blush. That actually strikes a chord of hope inside of me, because that means she was affected by my perusal of her.
Sometimes... I think there are moments when Rowan wants to give in to her feelings. I can’t describe it but it’s a look we share. I feel we are on the verge of connecting but then her words come back to haunt me.
When the memory of those words penetrate my brain, I push myself away and try to shield my heart. I make myself be brave for Rowan, because she is the one that has suffered in the past, and like I said, I’m willing to wait for her to come around.
This club is packed and it’s like one seething, waving mass of bodies on the dance floor. Luckily, Emily, Fil, and Rowan are dancing near the edge so Nix and I can keep an eye on them. In fact, Nix all but demanded to Emily she stay within his line of sight, to which she just snorted at him and walked away without a backward glance.
However, I notice she did what he asked and I’m sure it’s because Emily had been attacked by a guy that couldn’t take no for an answer at a nightclub before Nix came to her rescue. Thus, she’s being respectful of his worry and gives him what he wants. I suppose relationships are supposed to be like that, right? It’s about trying to give the other person what they want without sacrificing too much of yourself. In return, the other person does the same for you.
I think in today’s day and age, we call that compromise.
The throng of people actually pulses as a whole, looking like a massive, beating heart under the disco lights. But then I focus on Rowan, and everything else ceases to exist. My girl loves to dance, and yes, I’m aware I just referred to her as
I curl my fingers into my palms and dig in, trying to force my attention away from her, and one particular looking sleaze bag who is staring at her ass while he pumps his hips back and forth behind her. I swear... if he touches her, I’ll go ballistic and knock his teeth down the back of his throat.
Just as the douche is getting ready to touch her, I start to stand up from the table. But then I watch in amazement as Fil intercepts the guy and gets right up in his face. I obviously cannot hear what she’s saying but she is laying into him. He looks pissed at first but the longer she yells at him, the more his shoulders sag and I swear he looks like he might cry. He finally turns around and slinks off.
Fil merely turns around and starts dancing again, as if nothing happened.
Leaning over, I yell at Nix. “Looks like you weren’t needed tonight, buddy. Fil apparently can keep Em and Rowan safe.”
Nix smirks at me. “Yeah. I’ll deny it if you say anything but I’m a little afraid of her.”
