consuming me, and in every way that counted, they were also destroying me.
He’d told me to stay in tonight, but after internally debating with myself and trying to channel my frustrations with him, there was no way that was going to happen. I would not allow myself to become my mother, waiting on the sidelines for a man while he was out exploring every piece of ass that walked his way. No fucking way. This had my mother written all over it. I didn't want to be anything like her, and my first step to distancing myself from her was joining the Marine Corps, even when she repeatedly belittled me, telling me how much of a failure I would be.
Those words were banging loud and clear. For the first time in a long time, something she had said to me was actually welcomed. Not in the sense that she was right, but her words were my reality check. Failure was not an option for me, but while I didn't have nearly as much to lose as Cruz, I did stand to lose something that I valued--my burgeoning career. As much I told myself that my career came first, I couldn't deny the pull that Cruz had on me and my body. When he spoke so brashly, my body responded, pleading with me to cure the ache and just let him ravish it. I had to work double time to stop the thoughts, to stop the feelings, and as difficult as it was proving to be, I was determined to get it done.
'Hey dreamer. You about ready?' Dalton asked, standing in the doorway of my room. He looked so much different out of uniform with his skinny jeans, black t-shirt, plain black slide-on Vans, and nerdy glasses. I couldn't help but smile at him.
'Yeah, I'm ready. Just let me lock up my locker.'
'Shit. I heard about that. Sorry. Newsome can be kind of fucking crazy.'
I laughed while locking up the locker and double checking to be sure that I wouldn't have another repeat of Field Day night.
'You're telling me. I thought he was going to put me through these brick walls in here.'
'Well, his buddy isn't much better. Sergeant Smith chucked an apple at some Private's head today in class, then was on him like a bad rash after that, screaming in his face because he had dozed off. I thought he was going to pop a blood vessel.'
My mind drifted to Cruz who had fallen asleep in class today. I couldn't be sure that anyone else had noticed, but I had, only because I kept stealing glances at him.
'So anyway, what about Sgt. Cruz?'
'What about him?' I asked, my voice stiff and defensive.
'He looked like he was going to smash my face in earlier today. What's his deal?'
I sighed. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to definitively find out that something had been going on between us.
'He's just intense. He's always telling us how our first priority is passing this course so that we can get to the fleet. That's all.'
Dalton didn't look like he was buying a word of my lie. His eyebrows shot up, and a faint smile traced his lips, but I didn't feed it. As far as I was concerned, I was going to have nothing more to do with Sgt. Cruz than to listen to him teach me about radio communications so that I could get to a unit and do my job.
'Anyway. Transformers. What is this about?'
Dalton stopped walking and held his chest, breathing hard and pretending to be in shock.
'You're fucking kidding, right?'
'No. I don't know anything about it.'
He took my hand and placed it on his chest. His heart wasn't beating any faster than normal, but he was playing up the part, trying to hit home the fact that I was desperately out of the loop.
'They were only my favorite action figures as a kid. I had every single Transformers toy ever made.'
'Okay. So what is this movie about?'
'Robots, good and bad, caught in a battle for Earth.' I looked half amused. 'Trust me, it's kick ass. I've seen it twice already.'
'Then why would you want to see it again?' I asked, laughing.
'Because of the pure awesomeness of it. You're going to love it too, rock girl.'
'Rock girl?' I asked, confused by the nickname.
'Yeah, rock girl. You must have lived under a rock to not know what Transformers are.'
I blushed, then awkwardly laughed. I had been living under a figurative rock with my mom, and not one that I'd wanted to come out from under either.
'Thanks to your depravity as a child, I'm treating you tonight. Movie, popcorn, aaannnddd a drink. Don't thank me, it's the least I can do.'
I hit his shoulder and laughed again. 'Don't splurge on me or anything, Dalton.'
He folded and stiffened his arm, holding it out for me with a goofy grin on his face. I took it, then walked down the walkway, passing the duty room in the process. Looking in, Cruz was sitting at his desk speaking to another Marine. For that brief second that I was able to look into the room, our eyes locked, and I felt time stand still. His hazel eyes burned into me. His lips puckered ever so slightly, and he swallowed… hard, that clit stimulating Adam's apple protruding with the movement of his throat.
I turned away and continued down the walkway with Dalton. If I looked at him any longer, my weakness would prevail, and I would find some reason to stay in my room in hopes that he would make his way up and fuck me until I couldn't see straight. That wasn't going to happen, so rather than set myself up for disappointment, I tried as best I could to block any more thoughts of him from my mind. I needed to be able to see him and not think or feel any salacious thoughts and feelings. I needed to go back to being able to see him the way I had when I first saw him at Coyotes.
Who the fuck was I kidding? From the second I laid eyes on him at that bar, my thoughts wandered aimlessly to what I wanted him to do to me. I was hooked from the onset, so trying to find my way out of that hole was going to be a monumental task.
I was doing a piss poor job of listening to Dalton as we walked over to the movie theater. He had been talking a mile a minute, and unfortunately, I hadn't heard a lick of it.
'…yeah, and an axe murderer is going to come and chop us all up tonight, right?'
'Yeah,' I quickly answered, trying to break free from the thoughts that were cruelly shackling my mind while simultaneously breaking me down.'
'I knew you weren't listening to a word I said.'
'Huh?'
'I just told you an axe murderer was going to come and chop us all up, and you agreed.'
'Oh, shit. I'm sorry.'
'You okay?'
'Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind.'
'I can tell.' He paused as we were approaching the movie theater. 'You sure you want to stay for this? Your mind seems to be elsewhere and, well, jackass of the year is here too.' He nodded his head in the direction of the ticket window where Allen was standing with a couple of his buddies. All of them looked like meatheads with the behavior to match. They were yelling out, 'I am Optimus Prime!' and other things that I was sure were in reference to the movie.
'I'm fine. He's loud and obnoxious, but I'm not letting him ruin my night.'
'Alright. Sweet.' He flashed a school boy grin, my facial muscles forming into a tight smile, trying hard to reciprocate the gesture.
We strolled up to the ticket window, standing in line when we caught Allen's attention. He made his way over to where we stood and I rolled my eyes, not in the mood to deal with him or any of his antics.
'You two on a date?' He looked us over, and I could see why he thought that. I was still holding on to Dalton's arm.
'Nope. Just enjoying a night away from the barracks with a friend,' Dalton calmly answered.
'Well, good, because I think you should totally go out with me, Bennett. I'll show you what a real man is like, and I'll turn you into the lady that you need to be.' He smiled, but there was no sincerity behind the smile. Only malice.
'That's okay. If I want to go out with a real man, I'll just have to keep looking. I don't think you're it.' I smiled back, wiping the smug look of asshole right off of his face. He lowered his eyes then cracked his neck before
