looking at a fresh faced Dalton at 0545.
'Ready to go kill this run?' he asked, much too cheerful for a Saturday morning.
I wiped my tired eyes, which were near bloodshot since I hadn't gotten more than a few hours of intermittent sleep all night. I was in no mood to go on some heart pounding, chest heaving, throat drying run with Dalton, and as I thought about how much I didn't want to go, Alex's orders to not spend time with him today came roaring back, fueling my rebellious side while encouraging me to do the exact opposite. If he was going to have anything with me, he needed to know that I wasn't a female who would cower at the whims of a man. I wanted to show him that he couldn't order me around-- except, of course, at work-- and I did
'As ready as I can be early on a Saturday morning,' I dryly replied, yawning as I said it because I was in desperate need of some sleep.
'As soon as we get going, you'll be good as new,' Dalton said, snapping a reflective belt around my waist. He pulled me out of the room and waited as I turned and locked the door, making sure that I wouldn't find myself in any sort of trouble with any of the instructors possibly roaming around the barracks.
'Where's Ruiz?' he softly asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. 'Beats the hell out of me. If any of the instructors find out she stayed out all night long, she'll be in some serious trouble.'
'Guess she doesn't care too much. Oh well, let's go.'
We walked down the steps and past the duty room. It couldn't be avoided thanks to its location, purposely set aside to see every single person coming and going from the building. I glanced in, catching Alex's eye as I walked by. I didn't want to cause another scene, so I kept walking, not giving him the chance to say anything, or look at Dalton in any sort of way that could be threatening or intimidating since he had already made it clear that he didn't particularly care for my friend.
We took off towards the far back end of base, heading out to a trail that led to a rock filled mountain just behind the training area. As early as it was in the morning, the heat was already searing us as we ran. Moisture coated my chest as well as my back, reminding me of the sweat filled night that I’d had with Alex, his strong, dexterous hands all over me. When we made it up to the tallest peak of the mountain, Dalton stopped and allowed me to catch my breath. I tried hard not to lean over, the flame of the roasting morning sun penetrating my body, scalding my lungs and leaving me gasping for air.
'You okay?' Dalton asked, looking concerned as he made his way over to me.
'I'm fine,' I replied. 'I just hate long distance running, that’s all.'
He smiled his heart-warming smile. 'I know. That's why I plan on making you do more of it. You need to incorporate more strenuous activity into your workout plan. It'll help you build up endurance for your run.'
If only he knew just what type of strenuous activity I had engaged in only a few hours prior. It seemed like Alex had all sorts of plans to get my endurance up, and if I were being honest with myself, I wanted that so much more than running up mountains and hills.
'What do you say we head back down, grab a shower, and get some breakfast?' I asked, wanting to end the torture and get out of the sweltering heat.
'Sounds like a plan to me.'
We took off down the mountain which was much easier than the trek we made going up. On the way down, I had time to ponder exactly what it was that Alex and I found ourselves engaging in. Was this just a one-time thing? Would he be done with me as soon as he got the opportunity to fuck me? I didn't need to be used and abused again; I was done with that shit. But even with those thoughts, my body was telling me something totally different. My body wanted to have Alex any and every way that it could. He was the drug to satisfy my craving, my need, my intense want.
But what about my career?
I stepped out on a limb, throwing myself into one of the most challenging arenas I could think of to see what I was made of. I was proud of what I had accomplished thus far, but I knew that all of my hard work and dreams could be gone in the blink of an eye.
So why was I unable to drop him and move on? With all of the consequences for our actions dangling over our heads every step of the way, neither of us was willing to back off and save our careers; neither of us was willing to wait. The need to feel each other was too strong, and it became all too consuming with each passing second of every day that we had to deny ourselves of one another.
'Come on, Bennett, you've got this,' Dalton called out from the bottom of the rocky mountain.
I pushed aside the consuming thoughts of Alex and pushed through, finally making it to the bottom to Dalton who had cheered me on every step of the way. I stood with my arms over my head, working feverishly to catch my breath as I paced the area and tried to keep from taking any direct sunlight from the blazing sun.
'You did well. You took that mountain in forty-eight minutes, not bad.'
'Thanks, but I feel horrendous.'
'Well, it's a step in the right direction,' he said, smiling at me after patting me on the shoulder. 'Now let's go and get cleaned up. You smell like a man.'
My breath caught as I grew nervous with what he was possibly alluding to. Alex's scent lingered on me after our romp in the wee hours of the morning. Stupid of me to not shower and wash it away, but I was left in a flaccid state, lying in my bed and finger fucking myself to a heightened level of frustration, trying in vain to reach even the lowest of that euphoric level Alex had worked me into. I didn't get remotely close. Once I finally did fall asleep, it was time to get up and Dalton was at my door. I had no time to wash him away from me, and I honestly, wholeheartedly, didn't want to.
'What do you mean I smell like a man?' I asked, coming across overly defensive.
Dalton stopped walking and turned around to face me.
'It was a joke, tiger. Geez.' Inquisition shelled his face as he stood there, obviously taken by surprise at the fierceness of my tone. 'We're both sweating buckets out here. I didn't think we smelled like women, all delicate and frilly.'
I relaxed at his response. I would need to get a grip on myself if I didn't want to unwillingly give myself away. Alex, his eyes, his words, his body...
He was pushing me over a cliff that I was all too willing to jump off of, and that scared me more than being caught or found out by anyone at the moment.
'I'm sorry. It's just--'
''No worries. Let's get back and get this day started, shall we?'
We took off, headed back to the barracks.
Passing the duty room, I glanced in again, only this time, there was another sergeant currently sitting in the duty chair-- Alex was gone. Relief washed over me as we passed. His penetrating eyes were thankfully nowhere to be found as Dalton and I made our way up the stairs. When we reached the top, Dalton made sure to walk me to my room before turning and heading for his.
'Catch you in about a half hour?' he asked, running his fingers over his dirty blonde hair.
'Yeah. Do you want to meet at the chow hall?'
'I can meet you right here if that's okay?'
'Fine with me.'
He smiled and walked off. I turned to go into my room when I caught sight of Alex on the bottom floor, leaning on what I presumed to be his truck. The big, black Ram fit his personality to a tee-- rough and rugged. A slight smile caressed my lips, but quickly faded away as I watched Castillo, or Leti as he had called her the night before, step out of a black Jeep with more food in her hands. They exchanged words before he took it, placed it in his truck, then turned around and spoke to her again. I wanted to run down there and let her know that she was stepping on dangerous territory, only I couldn't, not without severe consequences that could destroy me for the rest of my life. No, I had to stand around and continue to take her shit as she flaunted it in my face. And what the hell was his deal? I couldn't understand how he could be so possessive when it came to Dalton, yet he was so friendly with Castillo. The double standards weren't going to work with me.
I wanted to pull my eyes away from them, but I couldn't. It was like I was drawn to them, a true masochist in every since of the word as I stood up there, seething inside at the sight of them down below exchanging who knows what with one another.
