my hands held tightly to her face, encasing her beautiful features as I allowed my mouth to pour out my deep seated feelings for her. She held firmly to my ass, squeezing tightly as the kiss intensified. When we finally pulled apart, both of us were breathing hard and staring at one another.
“You mean the fucking world to me. You better know that.”
“I do.” She finally smiled, still holding on to my ass.
Chapter 22
Cassie
Pouring my heart out to Alex, on the beach, next to a brimming fire, was definitely not what I had in mind for my getaway trip. Some of the things I’d just shared with him were things that my own friends didn’t know. The fact that they came pouring out of my mouth like water somewhat frightened me. I had reached a very critical point in my budding relationship with him, one that I swore I wouldn’t get to so easily again, and the fact that it happened at warp speed shell shocked me. But it also laid some of my demons to rest. Holding that info inside for so long had done some things to me; had hardened me even when I came across as easy going and upbeat. Alex had just wriggled it out of me without much effort, and it showed me that what we had truly was worth working for.
After he kissed me a few more times, telling me everything would be okay and that I was safe with him, he pulled graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows out of his bag. I was interested in seeing what else he had stuffed into that bag, but he wouldn’t show me, telling me that I would find out in due time.
I sat on his lap, a couple of marshmallows on the skewer over the fire. Alex had the crackers and chocolate waiting for me, and after burning them just right, he took them and completed the s’more. The gooey goodness was a scrumptious treat after such a traumatic and emotionally honest session. My past was nothing to be proud of, but Alex made me feel like it didn’t matter. Like I was walking on clouds and that none of it had ever happened.
I finished my s’more, then twisted around to trace Alex’s lips with some of the residual chocolate left on my fingers. He tried to lick it off before I could, our tongues bumping into the other as we fought over the sweet treat. He fingered my hips, lingering on my tattoo.
“What’s the significance of this?”
I stopped his fingers, holding them in place before removing his hand and straddling him, peering into those warm, golden eyes.
“I got this tattoo of a very pretty butterfly I saw flying one day. It was at a park—one of the rare days that I was ever taken to play. My mom’s boyfriend—one of the many who used and abused her over the years—took me to play one day. At the time, I thought he was the greatest guy ever because he was doing something that no one else seemed to do with me. I watched that butterfly all day. The freedom it possessed to fly anywhere it wanted to, whenever it wanted to. It was like a faraway dream for me, and one that I couldn’t see myself ever getting the chance to follow. But when I enlisted in the Corps, I went and got that tattoo. It’s a constant reminder that I’m free and that I’m chasing my own dreams.”
He gazed into my eyes, his lip curving just a bit. “That’s fucking beautiful.”
“You know so much about me, and I know nothing about you. Tell me all about Alex.”
“What do you want to know? I joined the Corps at eighteen, and according to the Marine Corps, I’m now in a morally corrupt relationship with one of my students.”
I hit his chest. “You know what I mean. Your family, your background. I want to know.”
“Okay,” he said, rubbing his chest where I had hit him. “I honestly shouldn’t be in the Corps. I should be locked up somewhere because, as a kid, that’s exactly where I was headed.”
He shifted me on his lap, making us both more comfortable as he geared up to tell his story. “I’m the oldest of two. My dad has been locked up since forever, and it left my mom and my grandma to raise us. I was a shitty kid with too many anger issues, and I fought—a lot. I’d fight kids just for looking at me wrong. I got suspended from school quite a few times, and then my luck caught up with me.”
Something dark went off in his eyes as he swallowed hard, gearing up for what I thought was sure to be heavy. “Some fucking guy who my sister, Adriana, was dating put his hands on her. When she told me, I promised to just teach him a lesson. So I met him at a park, ready to kick his ass. Only, once I started hitting him, I couldn’t stop. He fell to the ground, and I just kept kicking and kicking until he was throwing up blood. His left eye was swollen shut, and he was grasping for air.
“The cops pulled up shortly after, arresting me while the ambulance took him away. I later found out that he was okay, just a couple of broken ribs, a broken nose, and a shut eye, but the judge didn’t go easy on me. I was put in juvenile detention for sixty days and ordered to complete one hundred and fifty hours of community service along with anger management therapy.”
He stopped and closed his eyes, gripping tighter around my waist.
“The sheriff that took me in for community service also kind of served as a mentor, and told me that I needed to straighten my shit out and get my life in order before I became an adult and ended up in prison. He talked to me about the Marine Corps, said he’d served eight years before getting out and thought the discipline and structure would be good for me. I looked up to him, so I let him take me to see a recruiter and the rest is history.”
A couple of tears fell from my eyes. I knew that the Corps was stitched into the fabric that was Alex. But how it came to be was surprising, and even a bit scary.
“Do you regret what you did to that guy?”
“I don’t regret defending my sister, but I do regret letting it go that far. I lost my mind. I couldn’t even see straight.”
“And what about your mom? Your grandma?”
“They were heartbroken, but while my mom was fighting to get me out of juvie and on house arrest, my grandma was telling her to leave me in there. She said I needed to truly learn my lesson or I’d end up like my dad. She couldn’t have been more right.”
“I see now why your loyalty and love for the Corps is so deep—so strong. It saved you.”
“It did.”
I stroked his arm for a minute, silently signaling to him that while his past was a bit devastating, I was still there with him.
“So what’s the deal with Evelyn? I know you didn’t think I forgot about that.”
“Of course not. You females never forget about juicy gossip,” he joked, moving a few strands of hair behind my ear. “Evelyn and I met when I was stationed on the east coast. She was a nice girl, and after running into her a few times, we finally decided to go on a date. Things were going well, but then I was sent back to the west coast and we had to make a choice. She decided to move with me, and after a while here, we decided to get married. She was the doting wife, taking care of home, dinners made, laundry cleaned. She was everything I thought a wife was supposed to be, but I later found out that while I was off in Iraq on my third combat deployment, she had been sleeping with another Marine, spending my money to build a new life with this dude, then had the nerve to accuse me of cheating on her.”
“We were about three weeks from coming home and out on our last mission. I was sidetracked and depressed...so much so that when the ambush hit us, I couldn’t even think straight. By the time I was able to fire my weapon, three of my brothers had already been killed. Another three died in the ensuing firefight.”
He leaned back and pointed to his memorial tattoo. “These are the six that we lost that day.”
“I hope you don’t feel responsible for that,” I said softly, unsure of his lingering feelings on the situation.
“At first I did. But after getting home, therapy, and divorcing Evelyn, I was finally able to reconcile myself with what had happened.” He blew out a deep breath, then rubbed the back of his head. “So this is where Castillo comes in.”
He paused, trying to gauge me, but I gave nothing away. I wanted to hear this part.