sadness behind the dark cloud surrounding his eyes—that very sadness filling me. I didn’t want to leave on this note. I wanted to leave with us excited for the prospect that lay before us, but the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that it would probably not happen that way. I wanted to rewind, take things back to the very beginning and start all over. I wanted more time. I wanted anything I could get to bring me and Alex back together. More than anything, I wanted the love that we’d expressed to one another to trump everything.
And right now, I wasn’t so sure that it could.
Later that evening, I sat with Dalton in the barracks courtyard, quietly festering in my own self-pity as he went on and on about the excitement of his new unit. He stopped talking when he noticed that I wasn’t contributing to the conversation.
“Hey. What’s got you so down? Things are looking up for you. Allen is out of your hair, we’re graduating, and you’ve got the love of your life. Why are you so down?”
I smiled weakly. “I wish it were that simple. But Alex and I are in a complicated state right now. He’s been so distant since yesterday. It hurts.”
He pulled me in for a hug, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
“I’m sure he’s hurting, too. He probably just doesn’t know how to handle it.”
“I don’t either. But I’m not backing away from him like he’s doing to me.”
“Don’t be so hard on him. He seems like a hard ass, and I think these feelings are new for him, so he doesn’t really know how to deal with them.”
“I guess,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“Hey, let’s go to the gym and play some basketball—get your mind off things for a bit.”
I contemplated saying no, but Dalton stood and grabbed my hand, yanking me up with him.
“Go get your shoes on and meet me in five minutes.”
I nodded, then took off for my room, looking into the duty room on my way by and finding Riley sitting inside. I stopped, backtracked, then knocked on the door.
“Pfc. Bennett,” he formally said, looking up from his
“Hi, Sergeant Riley.” No one was in the room with him, but I looked around anyway, before moving farther inside and asking my question. “Um—is Alex okay? He’s been a little off today.”
He sat his magazine down and straightened up in his chair.
“Alex is fine,” he replied. “He just needs a minute to adjust to everything. He’s hurting a little, that’s all.”
My heart fluttered at the confirmation. He wasn’t distancing himself from me for the sake of distancing himself. I smiled and thanked him, then headed up the stairs to put on my sneakers and play some ball with Dalton.
We played over an hour of basketball, one on one, then two on two with a couple of other students. I was decent at basketball, but Dalton was exceptional. I wondered why he hadn’t pursued it further since he obviously had talent, but he said it was just a hobby for him and nothing he wanted to devote his life to. I envied him because if I’d been blessed with that talent, I would have used it to my advantage.
The walk home was slow and quiet. The desert air was still warm, but the few gusts of wind here and there were welcomed, cooling down my sweat covered body from the hot and humid gym. When we reached the barracks, I looked inside the duty room again, seeing Riley sitting inside with his A-duty—a young, but built Private. He gave me a slight wave, putting a smile on my face. I loved how loyal he was to Alex, and in turn, how accepting he was of me.
“Hey, maybe tomorrow we can go swim or something,” Dalton said, holding on to my shoulder.
“Yeah, I’ll text you in the morning.”
I gave him a hug, then turned and jogged up the stairs. The music coming from inside my room was loud and thunderous, assaulting my ears the closer that I got. Angelica was in there, and it would be an almighty fight to try and get her to show a little consideration and turn it down now that I was home. I just figured I’d shower, then head off to grab a bite to eat and hopefully stay away from her until it was time for quiet hours.
I fiddled with my keys, my sweaty hands slipping as I tried to get a solid grip. When I finally did, I placed the key inside the hole, turned the knob and pushed the door open. Just my luck, Angelica was in the shower already, so I’d have to wait until she was done. I exhaled a breath of frustration and started to walk inside when a large, thick hand flew around my mouth, the accompanying body equally large and pressing hard up against me, sending me crashing down to the floor. I tried to scream, but it was in vain. My sounds were completely muffled by the hand covering my mouth.
Fear shot through every inch of me as the bulky physique pressed me down into the hard floor, pinning my arms underneath me. My wrists were firmly pressed onto the cold, tile floor, and the bone crushing weight of my assailant sent my bones fracturing, causing pain to ripple up and down my arms. The butterfly charm on the end of my necklace jabbed into me, sending sharp pains through my chest as I was reminded that Alex was nowhere around to protect me. My mind flittered to him, thinking about where he was and how he would react to what was happening to me at this very moment.
The big hand grabbed the back of my neck, bringing me back to my horrendously, painful present. It gripped and tore away at the necklace, then squeezed and pinched until throbbing pain shot up to my head and down my spine like a razor scraping away at my bones. I lay on the ground, kicking and trying to scream, growing physically exhausted by the second as a stiff erection poked into the back of me. He shifted, and I took my opportunity to try biting again, this time able to get a grip on his finger.
“Fuck!” he yelled out, briefly letting go.
I tried to move away, but my exhaustion didn’t allow for sudden movements and he caught on to me, one hand pulling me back by my hair and the other once again over my mouth. My head ached with fierce agony as he gripped my hair so tight that I thought I could feel the hair follicles pulling out of my scalp. A sudden and intense burn hit my head, sending tears streaking down my face. He pressed my face down onto the hard floor, and my nose smashed against it, making it difficult to breathe.
I began to choke, muffled coughs leaving my body as the hand grabbed tightly onto my shorts, trying desperately to pull them down. I squeezed my cheeks tightly together, trying to keep my shorts up since there was no doubt in my mind what was coming next. If I could fight him off, and get some help, I could save myself the humiliation of being penetrated in the most violent and invasive of ways.
He moved up my body a tad bit more, resting that big, hard erection just below my ass. I continued squeezing, prompting him to squeeze my neck, putting added and agonizing pressure on my pressure points, causing me to flit in and out of consciousness. My couple of seconds of weakness gave my attacker just the right amount of time he needed. He moved one leg in between mine, now prying my legs open. He forcefully took hold of my shorts, the seam rubbing so harshly up against my waist that the friction of the material violently rubbed up against my skin, sending an incinerating burn wrapping around my hips, scalding and tormenting me with every tug he made. He laughed, a deep, haunting laugh as he tugged and yanked furiously, tearing the waistband of my shorts, and yanking them down and over my ass.
The warm air from just outside the door caressed my skin, now exposed as he jabbed his fingers under my thong and easily tore through it, leaving me ripe and bare for him. Tears pricked my eyes, and I found the strength to scream out, making a bit more of a sound, but still stifled by the hand holding firmly over me.
“You’ve fucking ruined everything for me, you bitch. I told you I’d make you pay,” the voice hissed.
My eyes shot open as I realized it was Allen. I began kicking with all of my might, hoping and praying that I would land even one and get him to loosen his grip on me. It was of no use. He was much too large, much too strong. I lay underneath him, uncovered from the waist down, crying as he held tightly to my mouth. I tried biting at him again, but I couldn’t get a grip.
He lowered his shorts and slid his erection along the crack of my ass, whispering, “Consider this my fucking parting gift.” I tried turning my head, hoping that I would get him to somewhat loosen up on my mouth, but he only grew more agitated, slamming my head down onto the floor below. I was met with a shattering thud as my head hit the tile, full force, with obscene amounts of hatred behind it. My flailing ceased as I lost the ability to think straight. My body was hurting, burning, and exhausted. I couldn’t think of anything else to do.
I tried closing my legs again, but his large frame lay there, making it physically impossible for me to do so. He took his free hand that wasn’t constricting my air flow, and skimmed my waist, running his fingers down my ass
