Kin

“Okay. But I gotta go now. Kara’s calling me.”

“Sure. I’ll call later.”

She was gone. Finch stared at the phone in his hand for a long time before hanging it up. Though his hangover was severe, it almost didn’t matter. He was elated. As he headed for the shower, he felt that same nervous excitement course through him like adrenaline, diluted by the slightest undercurrent of fear.

In the bathroom he paused before the mirror and studied his wan, unshaven face. His eyes were like ice chips anchored in place by dark red threads.

We’re coming for you.

He was readying himself for war against a foe he’d never seen, in a place he’d never been.

It would not be the first time.

-26-

Kara lit a cigarette and through the smoke and the rain-speckled windshield, watched her sister cross the street, her progress slowing as she scanned the other cars parked alongside the curb for the occupied one. Finch was parked somewhere among them, Kara knew, so Claire was unlikely to look down the row of vehicles far enough to spot her. She watched, fiery anger demanding she put a stop to this immediately, before any further damage was done. But for the moment, she resisted and dragged deeply on her cigarette—a habit she had managed to keep secret from her mother for ten years until the night they’d brought Claire home. Even then, it had been her mother lighting up first that had triggered her confession.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” she admitted to her mother, aghast. Her mother had shrugged. “Didn’t know you did either.” And they’d smiled weakly and lit up. It had helped eased the tension that had existed between them ever since the night her father had died and Kara, in an inexplicable and uncharacteristic moment of frightening rage, had struck her mother, when it was clear the woman wanted nothing more than to join her husband in death. They hadn’t exactly been friends since, and her mother’s contention that what had happened to Claire in Alabama was their fault, the result of not being caring or vigilant enough with her, hadn’t helped. Throughout their vigils, sitting in antiseptic-smelling waiting rooms, corridors, and starkly furnished hotel rooms waiting to see how much the ordeal had affected Claire, Kara had had to listen silently to her mother’s allocation of blame, the self-flagellation, the expressions of guilt, and it had almost driven her out of her mind. We should have known, her mother had said, though of course there had been no way of knowing. I felt it in my gut. I just knew something had happened to her. A mother knows. Kara had recognized this last for what it was—misremembered maternal instinct fabricated to perpetuate the self-punishment her mother seemed to need, so she’d ignored it and gritted her teeth and tried not to be infected by it.

For Kara’s part, she’d been sick with worry for Claire, but as strained as her relationship with her mother had been, her relationship with Claire had—and still was, she supposed—even more fragile. And for this, she did blame herself. After their father died, their mother had lost something of herself, had grown distant and stayed in that gloomy place which rendered every smile false, every kind word forced. With every passing year, it seemed as if her only goal was to find a state of consciousness that would allow her to get closer to the husband she’d lost, until her body felt compelled to follow. It wasn’t fair, but it was fact, and so Kara had, without being aware she was doing so, adopted the role as guardian to Claire.

I tried, she told herself as she rolled down the window a crack to let the smoke out. Five cars ahead, Claire smiled slightly, tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, and opened a car door, then slid inside and shut it behind her. The cars parked between them blocked Kara’s view of the vehicle, but it didn’t matter. She knew who her sister was meeting here.

That bastard. Again the anger tugged at her, tried to force her hand to the door, but she stayed where she was. Not yet. The longer she thought about it, however, the more uncertainty gained a foothold in her mind. Why was she here? To protect Claire from Finch? It didn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense now that she studied her motives more closely. Finch wouldn’t harm Claire, and what harm there was to be done, had been done over two months ago in that backwoods town. Claire had survived a nightmare that had claimed her friends. She was alive, if not altogether recovered, but that would come with time. Why then, was she sitting here, overwhelmed by the urge to rip Claire from the car and smash Finch’s face in for luring her out to meet him? It was too late to protect Claire. The damage had been done, and the measure of compensation didn’t exist that could ever again make her feel safe. So again: Why was she here? The answer when it came, was simple, and heavy with truth.

She was here to keep her from Finch.

He might not hurt her, but nor was he a presence she wanted in her sister’s life. She had taken that one for the team, thank you very much, and there was no valid reason why he should have contact with anyone she cared about ever again. The man she had once, and foolishly, loved with all her heart, had almost destroyed her so driven was he by the compulsion to destroy himself. For him, happiness was an elusive thing, a concept infrequently understood and mistrusted when it came. He had told her stories of his past that had made her skin crawl—the abusive father, the bullying at school, the shyness he had eventually managed to cast off during his unsteady journey through puberty, the hunting trips with his father in later life which had invariably ended in arguments, and in one case, a mutual threat of murder, the alcoholism, the drugs, the fistfights. She had not been surprised when he’d accepted the call to war. He was not a happy man, nor was he even remotely patriotic. Finch was his own country, the government unstable, the population volatile. Often during their six month relationship, she had seen glimpses of the man she wished he could be, the man she suspected Finch himself wished he could be, but they were transient and towards the end, vanished altogether, leaving only the anger and the cruelty behind. She would never deny that a part of her still loved him, but it was a small part, a speck on the great wide-open plain of her hatred. He had hurt her, and he would keep going until he had hurt everyone around him.

And she would not let him do that to Claire.

* * *

“I’m glad you came,” Finch said. “Wasn’t sure the jailbreak would work.”

In the passenger seat, Claire smiled. There were slight wrinkles around her mouth that did not belong on the face of someone so young, but Finch knew that no matter how old it might say she was on her I.D., what those men had done to her had shoved her headlong into adulthood. They had taken her innocence, her friends, her spirit, and left her as good as dead, for he had known Claire before the trip, had often kidded around with her while he waited for Kara outside the house, and he saw now that the light that had always danced in her eyes had gone out. Had been snuffed out. Her once lustrous blonde hair was now jet black and greasy, as if she’d dipped it in oil—a clear indication of her prevalent mood. Or perhaps it was meant to compliment the black pirate-style patch she wore to hide the scarring from where they had gouged out her eye. Either way, she did not look herself, did not look familiar to him.

“Kara was in the shower,” Claire told him, looking down at her hands, absently rubbing the smooth pink nubs where two of the fingers on her left hand should have been. “So I left a note. My mother was…my mother. I’m not sure it even registered that I was leaving.”

Finch thought of his own mother, at home, watching game shows and alternating between cursing the world and weeping while she reached down beside her rocking chair for one of the many vials of pills that stood like attentive soldiers around the runners.

“Everything’s going to be all right,” he told her, because she appeared as if she was waiting for him to say it. He draped his arm over her shoulder, gently, as he was not yet sure how she might react to a man’s touch. She stiffened slightly, but did not move away, and when she looked up at him, he saw the pain in her face.

“You’re going to kill them, right?” she asked, so matter-of-factly, she might have been asking a quarterback about an upcoming game.

He nodded. “That’s the plan.”

“Good.” She went back to looking at her fingers. “I want to go with you.”

“No.”