Choked

‘You lost—’

‘It went up in the explosion. Don’t worry, it’s not traceable. But everyone else went up too. They must all be dead.’

‘Apart from her.’

He nodded. Conceding a point. ‘Yes. Apart from her.’

‘And the child.’

He turned to her. ‘Yes,’ he said, voice rising once more. But not in anger this time. In triumph. ‘Exactly. The child. And I know where she is.’

‘No you don’t.’

‘Oh yes I do. You know who I saw there. Before the explosion.’ It wasn’t a question, just a statement of fact. ‘And you know what they were doing. Now they’ve got the kid.’

‘Well if they’ve got the kid,’ she said, speaking slowly as though she was explaining a simple point to a particularly backward child, ‘then the mother will have it back soon. And we’ll be no further forward.’

‘Wrong.’ He stood over her. Placed his hand on her chin. Forced her face upwards, made her look up at him. She put up token resistance, but they both knew she would submit eventually. ‘Wrong. Because I dissembled. I seeded.’

‘Tell.’ She licked her lips.

‘I said I’d heard her. Saying it was her fault.’

Something flashed across her eyes. ‘That was risky.’

‘I know. But it worked. Because then I overheard the police talking. They took her to hospital, but she left. They think she’s running.’

‘So she’s on her way to meet them. To get the child back.’

He smiled. ‘D’you think it would be that simple? They’ve got a job for her.’

‘So what do we do?’

‘Obvious. Follow the police. They’ll lead us to her.’

‘And them? How do we take care of them?’

Another smile. All teeth and reflected, glinting, razor light. ‘Send in the Golem.’

Her eyes widened as his words sank in. He took her lack of response as an answer in itself.

‘Exactly. What d’you think of that?’

Her breathing grew heavier.

He continued. ‘If we can’t trace the kid and the police don’t lead us to them through her, the Golem will. So it’s one way or another. And then … ’ he squeezed her jaw in his hand, ‘we’ve got them.’

She felt her stomach start to tighten. Her body temperature to rise. Especially in her groin. Like coiled electric eels, swimming and sparking, trying to find a way out. She kept her eyes on his, opened her mouth slightly. The bruise flowering. He looked down at her, smiled.

There was nothing of the Guardian-reading, middle class aesthete in his features now. The veneer of civility was falling away, leaving something feral, carnal in its place. A primal lust. He let her face drop roughly from his hand. Hurriedly took off his suede jacket. Pulled at the buttons of his shirt.

She lay back on the bed, propped up on her elbows, watching him, her legs slowly opening, breasts rising and falling with her breathing. Wanting him. Wanting what he could give her.

He was soon stripped off and joining her on the bed. She saw straight away how hard he was. She smiled. He moved right in next to her. Pushed against her. Towered over her. She could feel the heat coming off his body.

‘Do you love me?’ Her voice was low, urgent. ‘Do you love me?’

‘Yes … ’ The word was a hiss through clenched teeth.

Her eyes widened, voice dropped lower. ‘Do you hate me?’

He gave a reply that was almost a growl. He grabbed her. Hard.

She needed to hear it. ‘Do you hate me?’

‘Yes … ’ His voice a snarl now.

She smiled. Good. ‘Then show me. Show me. Show me what I mean to you … ’

He straddled her, his thick, muscled legs either side of her, balancing his weight. He drew his right hand back and, eyes locked on eyes, let it go.

The slap caught her firmly on the side of her cheek. Her head whiplashed sharply to the right. She quickly recovered, looked back at him. A face full of pain, eyes full of lust.

‘Again … hurt me … ’

He hit her again. Her cheek reddened, began to swell.

‘Again … ’

He did it again.

And again. Rage and lust driving him on.

She loved him. Like she had never loved anyone or anything before.

He kept at her. Both hands now. Her face, then her body.

She closed her eyes. Lost in pain.

Lost in rapture.

Lost in a special, private love.

15

Marina moved slowly towards the car. A dead woman walking. Her heart was heavier than it had been in a long time; heavier, even, than it might have ever been before.

She opened the door, sat down in the driver’s seat. Put her head against the rest. She heard herself sobbing before she felt the tears on her face. Like something coiled so tight within it could only leave her body in short, jagged bursts. Anger. Pain. Loss. Helplessness.

Josephina. Phil. Don and Eileen. Her life.

Coming in sharp, emotional sword thrusts, every blow a hit, stabbing and wounding.

She clenched her fists. Hammered them against the steering wheel, screaming. Pounding hard, pummelling. No words, just incoherent rage. On and on. On and on. Until there was nothing left within her to come out. Until she no longer had the energy to expel it. Until she was spent. Then she sat, head back, eyes closed, breathing like she had just run a marathon. Empty. Empty and down. Her emotions crashed, burnt out.

But she knew it wouldn’t last for long. The feeling would only be temporary. She would fill up again. The emotions inside her would need another outlet. They had to. What had happened to her was so huge, such a seismic shift in her life, that there would be no alternative.

She just hoped she would be able to cope.

Love Will Tear Us Apart.

She scrambled for her bag, thrown carelessly on the passenger seat. Began pulling things out, littering the cramped interior. She found the phone, held it to her ear, answered the call.

‘Hello … hello … ’ Her voice high, shrill. She swallowed hard, tried to cap the desperation rising inside her. ‘Hello?’

‘Good girl.’ The voice again. That same voice.

Marina said nothing. Waited.

The voice said nothing either.

Marina had to break the silence. ‘Where is she? Where’s Josephina?’

‘All in good time.’

‘I want to talk to her. Hear her voice … ’

‘Not yet. You’ve still got … there’s something you still have to do.’

Desperation welled. A wave of impotent rage swept her body, her legs and feet tingling, her toes curling. ‘But … please, let me talk to my daughter.’ Silence. ‘Please … ’

More silence. She heard a rustling in the background. Muted voices, hushed tones. Nothing she could make