Shards of Us

'What is your plan?' I ask Sebastian as he makes his way over to the stove, but he ignores my question. Instead, he pulls out a plate and flips over the pan so that the eggs he has been cooking slips onto it, and then he adds bits of pepper, sprinkles some shredded cheese on the top, and slides the plate over to me.

'Here's your breakfast,' he says. I have to admit, it smells delicious. I grab a fork and start eating right away.

Sebastian sits on the chair beside me, but he doesn't eat anything. I ignore him at first, trying to hate him for what he did to me. His eyes are locked on the open window in front of us, with that distant glaze to them, like he's back as a teenager, growing up under Jodie's care. He's had a traumatic life, I realize, and not once does he complain. He keeps it in, like a festering wound, and all I want to do is make it better.

After a few minutes, Sebastian turns to me. His eyes are hard and serious, his mouth a flat line. 'Do you miss how things were?' he asks after a minute, his voice cool, but also a little wistful. 'Do you miss before?'

I put my fork down. 'Before?'

'Yes.' His stare is unflinching. 'When it was just the two of us in Hotel de Galaxias.'

I think for a moment, staring at his scruff, then the faded dimples on the corners of his mouth, and I sigh. 'Yes,' I admit. 'Sometimes I miss it.'

Sebastian doesn't say anything for a minute. He just keeps watching me, as if he's testing me. 'Do you resent me?' he says quietly. 'Do you resent me for what I did? For what I… for what I did to you and, for what I did a living?' His voice is as easygoing as it was before, but there's a certain intensity to it, like his question is deeper than just that.

I hesitate. What am I supposed to say? I want to hate him, I really do. In fact, I wish I could hate him. But I can't deny what he means to me, and as I feel his gaze on my body, I decide just to tell the truth. 'No,' I say, pushing aside my food. 'I don't resent you.'

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, seemingly surprised for a second, but it's gone almost immediately. Then he nods. 'Good,' he says, more to himself than me.

I lean forward, looking into his deep, tortured eyes. Curiosity trickles in. 'Just good?' I ask.

Sebastian continues to stare at me. 'I told you, I'm a bad man. I'm going to do something to make you resent me sooner or later, no matter how hard I try. It's just who I am. What I am. So I'm trying to come to terms with it. I don't want to lose you, angel,' he says, his voice growing more intense. 'I don't want to lose anyone else.'

'You won't lose me, Sebastian. You won't ever.'

'You don't understand,' he growls.

I keep my gaze on him. 'Then make me understand, Sebastian,' I say quietly.

He shakes his head. 'It will only hurt you, angel. And I don't want you to be hurt.'

I move my chair closer to him. 'Then at least tell me about the jobs you did. I want to know. I deserve to know.'

Sebastian's eyes burn into mine. Shivers race through me as he leans in closer to me, his lips and shaven jaw and haunting blue eyes lingering in front of my face. 'Tell me something about yourself first,' he whispers. 'Tell me the things we promised never to tell.'

My heart starts racing. 'You mean, break rule number two?' Sebastian is not one for breaking rules, that much I know.

His jaw clenches. 'Yes. I want to know you, angel. I want to know the real you. And I want to know all of you.' His voice is rough as he leans over me, breathing onto my lips, and whispers, 'You're my captive, don't forget that. I want to make you mine, and I can't have you unless you tell me who you are.'

I perk up. 'You mean, you aren't afraid of… ruining me by loving me anymore?'

I feel the thin fibers of his suit brushing against my skin as he brings his lips back onto my neck, kissing me slowly. 'Angel, I'm not going to corrupt you. I'm going to own you, to love you, to save you from those men. I'm going to keep you my prisoner. But when the time comes, when things are safe, I'm going to let you go, and you'll leave my life like everyone else has. And you'll live your life like it never happened. Okay? If I thought loving you would hurt you, I wouldn't let myself do it. I need you. I need you to be safe. But I want you too bad to keep from having you.' His eyes are so intense, his jaw getting tighter by the second. He trails his kisses down my neck, lingering at my collarbone, teasing me as he inches down lower, and a moan escapes from my lips. 'Are you ready to be mine?'

I hesitate for a second and try to think, but it proves difficult as Sebastian continues to kiss me along the neck, reaching out a hand and slipping his fingers under my shirt, where they circle around by my bra, slow and teasing. Every part of my mind wants to say no to Sebastian, wants to tell him that keeping me prisoner like this makes him the epitome of an asshole and, not to mention, that it's illegal, but my heart, or at least what is left of my heart, the ones longing to let someone else in, someone to heal the pain, screams yes. I try to stop myself from answering at all, but my heart wins this round. The word just slips out of my mouth: 'Yes.'

Yes.

It's hollow, reverberating throughout the walls, but it feels so, so right.

Yes, I want to be yours.

Sebastian smiles, a fleeting, beautiful kind smile, exposing his perfect white teeth. 'Good, angel. Now tell me about you. The real you. I want to know.' He stops kissing me for a second and lifts me slowly into his lap, resting his head on my shoulders, and then he moves his lips back across my body, tickling his lips and tongue at my ear, then along my collarbone. He stops at the space above my breast, kissing me slowly around it, sending tremors throughout my body. His lips are warm against my skin, so warm and sexy and perfect. I am acutely aware of the familiar hardness from his erection pressing against my body, and it makes my heart race faster. My skin tingles.

'Okay,' I say quietly, barely able to escape the tingles rippling through me long enough to speak. 'What do you want to know?'

Sebastian slips his hand deeper into my bra, kissing around it. I feel his fingers working to undo it, feel the warmth in his mouth as he draws closer and closer toward me. My nipples harden, and I want him to suck them so badly I can't even explain. 'I want to know everything, angel.'

I take a breath. It occurs to me then that my life has not really been all that interesting. It's like I've been consumed by own loneliness, like I haven't ever really lived. So I start with the basics: the one time I ever actually felt alive. 'I always loved to dance,' I say, and Sebastian pauses kissing me, looking up and watching me with those deep and mysterious blue eyes of his. 'Ever since I was kid, it was my life. It was more than just a passion, though. It was something I ate, slept, breathed. Dance and I were inseparable in a way nothing else could be. My parents… they never understood it. They were always out of town--sports agents, go figure--but they still supported me. They still loved me when they were at home, and so I was okay. Through my teen years I stayed home alone when my parents went on tons of business trips to places across the country or the globe, usually for days at a time, and I'd just go to school, make myself dinner, and whenever I had free time, I'd spend it dancing. It was nice, to dance like that. Never perfect, but nice. Especially on those days my parents came home, and they talked to me and we played board games or whatever and just… were a real family, you know? I liked when things were simple. I went to college and dropped out after two years and even though they didn't like it, they still supported me on that too. I don't know why I dropped out, if you're wondering,' I add. Sebastian's breath is on my lips now. He keeps inching forward, looking at my lips with such hunger. Each time I inhale I can imagine myself kissing him again, letting him inside of me. I need him. I need him bad. 'I just wasn't happy, I guess. So I left. Anyway, I never really had any friends. Dance was my only real friend, and so I let it be that way. And that was all okay, even though I was a little depressed, because at least I had my parents in my life. But then they were… killed.' I squeeze my eyes shut at the memory, feeling the familiar hurt trickle in. 'And everything changed.'

I go on telling him the rest of my tale of woe, filling in some of the details he already knows. I talk about how there was a robbery and my parents were killed, how the depression came in soon after and I attempted to end it all, even though it only resulted in me breaking my leg and losing my one true love forever. I talk about how lonely I've been these last few years, how, when I jumped off of that roof, not only my leg shattered, but my heart did as well, and it has yet to recover. I talk about how my soul was still broken until I met him, how he's the one putting the pieces of myself back together. And weirdly enough, it feels good to talk it all out. It feels good to be free again--free from the lies. 'So that's it,' I say quietly as soon as I've told my story. 'That's me.'

Sebastian doesn't respond for a long time. He keeps tracing his finger around my breasts, making my