How to Date a Dragon

“Blish, honey. There ish one thing I ’ave to tell you…” he slurred.

She chuckled. “Sounds like those pain pills are kicking in.”

“Oh, mosht definitely.”

She grinned. “Go ahead and tell me, if you can.”

He took her hand in his and rubbed the pad of his thumb over her soft skin. “Blish, I’m a dragon.”

“Yeah, I know. Medication will do that to you. It really makes you feel like it’s dragging you down.”

“No.” He shook his head, and tried to enunciate. “I’m. A. Dragon.” Then he remembered the card he was still holding. He pointed to the cute dragon on the front of it.

She laughed. “Sure you are…”

He needed to be clearer, but how? His brain was so muddled, he couldn’t think of any other way but to insist she believe him.

“It’s true. I am a dragon.”

She frowned. “I know the medication is strong, but I didn’t think it would give you delusions.” Then she gasped. “Oh, my God. What if you’re having an adverse side effect? I’ve got to call a doctor.”

“No! No doctor! Promish me, Blish, you won’ call a doctor.”

She bit her lip. “I have to check the side effects on my computer.”

She rose, but he grabbed her hand before she could walk off. “Promish!”

After a charged pause, she finally agreed.

The last thing he remembered was her gently placing a soft blanket over him and saying, “Close your eyes and rest. Just rest.”

Then for the second time that day, he drifted off into unconsciousness.

* * *

Bliss brought her laptop to the living room so she could keep an eye on Drake. She was never so relieved as when the bathroom door clicked open and Angie reappeared from her bath in her pink terry-cloth robe.

“Oh, Angie. I’m in such a mess. Thank goodness you’re here. I don’t know what to do.”

“Whoa, slow down. What’s going on?”

“It’s Drake. I gave him some pain medicine and he started talking crazy. He made me promise not to call a doctor, but I’m afraid he could be having an adverse side effect. What should I do?”

Angie reared back and stared at her. “Why did you promise not to call a doctor? It sounds like he needs one.”

“I—I know, but he was so adamant… and we just had this big conversation about being honest and respectful of each other’s needs and blah, blah, blah.” Bliss opened her laptop and slipped on her glasses. “I looked up the medication I gave him on the Internet. Here’s what it says: ‘All medicines may cause side effects, but many people have no, or minor, side effects. Check with your doctor if any of these most common side effects persist or become bothersome.’” She waved away the useless information and continued. “That’s not the part that upset me. Here’s where it gets scary.

“‘Seek medical attention right away if any of these severe side effects occur: Allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue).’ He seems to be okay there, so maybe he’s not allergic, but listen to the rest of these: ‘abnormal snoring or sighing; confusion; difficulty urinating; fainting; fast, slow, or irregular heartbeat; hallucinations; mental or mood changes; seizures; severe dizziness, drowsiness, or light-headedness; severe or persistent stomach pain, nausea, or constipation; shortness of breath; slow or shallow breathing; tremor; vision changes.’”

Just then, Drake started to snore.

“Oh, no! He’s snoring. I’m afraid for him, Angie.”

“Does the Internet say what you should do about it?”

“At the bottom here it says, ‘If you have any questions about these side effects, contact your health-care provider.’”

Angie opened her purse and dug out her cell phone. “Well, I didn’t promise not to call someone. I’ve heard of a hotline called Ask a Nurse. It may be a matter of semantics, but he didn’t say anything about nurses, did he?”

“No, he didn’t. Angie, you’re brilliant.”

She smiled. “I know.”

She punched a few buttons and spoke with the information operator, who connected her to the hotline.

* * *

Anthony let himself into the girls’ apartment moments after they called him. As their landlord, he had a key and Bliss didn’t mind him using it. She needed his help.

“How’s Drake doing?” he asked.

“Terrible.” Bliss wrung her hands. “We need you to help us take him to a hospital.”

“Whoa, there. What makes you think he needs a hospital?”

She hung her head. “I gave him some pain pills and he had an adverse reaction.”

Drake snored softly in the background.

Anthony cocked his head. “What kind of adverse reaction?”

Bliss didn’t answer, so Angie chimed in. “I wasn’t here when he was awake, but Bliss said he was hallucinating. He said he was a dragon.”

Bliss cringed. “It’s my fault. I gave him a card with a dragon on it, and the idea probably got mixed up in his head somehow.” Why the hell did I give him my medication?

Anthony’s lip twitched. Bliss thought she saw the start of a smile, but it quickly disappeared.

“Are you a doctor?” he asked.

Feeling about two inches tall, she answered softly, “Uh… no.”

“I’ll chew you out for prescribing medication without a license later. What did you give him?”

“Percocet.”

“How much?”

“Just two.”

“Just two? Those things are narcotics, not aspirin.” He sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I don’t think he needs a hospital. All he needs is to sleep it off.”

Bliss was tempted to ask him if he was a doctor, but she knew enough not to get snarky with someone who they’d asked to help.

Angie took it from there. “But the Ask a Nurse hotline said to transport him to an emergency room right away.”

Anthony stared at the ceiling and seemed to be thinking something over… hopefully how best to get Drake to Boston General.

“I know you don’t know me well, Bliss, but Angie does. I’d never do anything to hurt my staff, friends, or customers. Isn’t that right, Angie?”

Angie turned toward Bliss. “I’ve never felt safer since taking this job—and I grew up in the suburbs, so that’s saying something. Anthony has gone out of his way to take care of all of us at one time or another. He’d never do anything to hurt Drake.”

Bliss bit her lower lip. “You really think he’ll be all right?”

Anthony placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He was surprisingly cool in more ways than one.

“I promise. When he wakes up, he’ll be back to his old self. You’ll see.”

* * *

The following morning, Bliss awoke with the sensation that someone was touching her. When her eyes fluttered open, she looked up into Drake’s smiling face. He smoothed her hair out of her eyes.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Drake. You’re up!” She levered herself to a sitting position on the sofa where she’d fallen asleep. She was still wearing her uniform, which was wrinkled beyond recognition.

“Angie said you took good care of me last night.” He sat next to her.

“You look a lot better this morning. How do you feel?”

“I feel great. Perfectly fine.” He glanced at his watch. “In fact, I should go into work soon. My shift is about to start.”