How to Date a Dragon

weeks. I understand it was even more difficult because of some unusual circumstances.”

Bliss groaned inwardly while keeping a pleasant smile plastered on her face. She knew exactly what the attention grabber was talking about. Judith wanted her to elaborate on the near disasters—not the work she’d done creating her Hall-Snark cards.

As she’d been coached, Bliss said, “It’s wonderful to see you too, Judith. Come in. I’d like you to meet my family.” Yeah, right. I’d like to hide them in the bushes in the backyard.

She led the woman into her mother’s kitchen where Malinda stirred an empty pot on the stove. Her brothers were sitting at the kitchen table along with her father, who’d apparently decided to leave his man-cave in the basement and make an appearance.

The three men rose and waited to be introduced, almost as if they’d developed manners in the last three minutes. Malinda wiped her perfectly clean hands on her apron and joined the family ticking time-bomb.

“Judith Applebottom, these are my parents, Malinda and Romeo Russo, and my brothers, Ricky and Emilio.”

The host stuck out her hand and shook those of each family member. “Yes. I can see the resemblance,” she said.

Oh, puuulease. We all have dark brown hair and brown eyes. That’s about it. But to their credit, at least none of them look like deer in the headlights or psychotic killers.

“Please have a seat,” Malinda said. “We’re just waiting for one more family member, and then we can eat.”

Oh. My. God. She couldn’t possibly be referring to Drake as family already, could she?

The director yelled, “Cut.”

“What’s the matter?” Malinda said, anxiously. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, that was fine. I’d just like to get everyone together in the living room to talk. The kitchen is a little crowded already and if another relative arrives…”

“He’s not a relative.” Bliss glared at her mother.

She looked sheepish. “Not yet.”

“Oh, God, Ma. Do not blow this out of proportion!”

Bliss’s father blustered, “Malinda, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Bliss’s boyfriend, of course.”

Ricky’s and Emilio’s eyes lit up. Ricky laughed evilly. “The squirt’s got a boyfriend? Oh, I can’t wait…”

“So help me, God, if any of you…” Bliss trailed off when she noticed a camera aimed at her with the red light on.

* * *

Everyone was seated in the living room. Bliss fidgeted in the middle of the old-fashioned blue velvet sofa with her parents on either side. Brothers Emilio and Ricky slid the armchairs from beside the fireplace to a spot on each end of the sofa for easy camera viewing.

The host looked for a place to sit until Malinda said, “Ricky. Get up and give our guest your chair. You can take the ottoman.”

“Oh, Ma…”

She silenced him with a severe look.

“Sheesh.” Ricky got up and made a sweeping gesture toward the chair. “Please have a seat, Miss…”

“You can just call me Judith.” She smiled and took the vacated chair. “Is everyone ready?”

“As ready as we’ll ever be,” Bliss muttered.

“Great.”

The director told the cameramen to resume filming. The host had just commented on the delicious dinner, which of course they hadn’t eaten yet. Anticipating her mother’s reaction, Bliss took her hand and gave it a slight squeeze. She’d set up the signal ahead of time. It meant, “shut the hell up,” but naturally she didn’t explain it that way to her mother. “Let me do the talking” is what Bliss had told her it meant.

“So, tell me what Bliss was like growing up, Mr. Russo.”

He laughed. Before he could tell the truth, his wife interjected, “Bliss was a perfect child.”

She was probably going to continue her “sweet and selfless” speech, but her father and two brothers roared with laughter.

The host grinned. “I take it that means she wasn’t so perfect after all?”

The three men grinned at each other, as if daring each other to go first.

Finally, Ricky said, “She was a little pest. She wanted to do whatever we were doing, and we couldn’t get rid of her no matter how hard we tried.”

Emilio chimed in, “Remember the time we put her in the rowboat with no oars and shoved her out to sea?”

Mrs. Russo looked horror stricken. “When did you do that? Why didn’t I know about it?”

“Because you’d have tanned our hides, Ma,” Ricky said.

Judith seemed delighted with the anecdote. “I take it Bliss didn’t tattle on the two of you?”

“Of course not,” Emilio said.

“Well, that’s quite something, isn’t it?”

Ricky laughed again. “Not really. If she’d said anything to our parents, we’d have made her life a living hell.”

“Hmmm.” Judith turned to Bliss. “So what did you do?”

Bliss rolled her eyes. “I dog-paddled my way to shore, then jumped on Emilio and pummeled the life out of him while Ricky laughed his ass off.”

Judith raised her eyebrows. “It sounds as if you learned to take care of yourself at an early age.”

“Oh, yeah. Having two older brothers was all kinds of fun, but at least they prepared me for whatever the rest of the world could throw my way.”

“That explains why you were so cool, calm, and collected throughout the show.”

Bliss snorted. In comparison to the drama queens. “Probably. It also explains why my cards are so snarky.”

Judith chuckled. “I imagine verbally is one way a youngest child could fight back. But your sister started the business. And I believe you said she moved to India. Is she in India right now?”

“Yes. I wish she could be here. She deserves a lot of the credit.”

“But you had no help at all in the past few weeks… in fact, I understand there was a major complication that hindered your progress.”

Bliss took a deep breath. Here it comes. “Yes. One night I was sound asleep in my apartment when the fire alarm went off.”

The host let out a little gasp and looked properly shocked. “The fire alarm?”

As if she doesn’t know this story backward and forward by now. “Yes,” Bliss continued. “The building was on fire and I had to get out. My computer melted in the fire, so I had to buy a new one and recreate all my designs.”

“My goodness!” Judith exclaimed. “How frightening.”

At that moment the doorbell rang. Malinda jumped up. “Oh, let me get that. It’s probably Drake. Bliss, stay right where you are.” Dodging cords and lighting, Mrs. Russo rushed to the front door.

“Cut,” the director yelled. “Mrs. Russo. Wait until the cameras are ready before you open the door.”

She jammed her hands on her hips. “I will not make our guest stand on the stoop and wait while you rearrange your precious cameras.”

If only Bliss could reach across the room and squeeze her mother’s hand—or her throat.

Malinda threw open the door and exclaimed, “Drake! I’m so glad you could make it.”

Fortunately or not, the cameraman managed to get the shot.

“Hello, Mrs. Russo. Nice to see you again.”

She grabbed his hand. “Come in. I can’t wait to introduce you to everyone.”

Not realizing what chaos he was walking into, Drake seemed relaxed and let Mrs. Russo pull him across the room.