How to Date a Dragon

“Can you make one of those cushions for me too?” Bliss asked.

Gaia leaned back and studied her for a moment. “If you took the muse position, you could make it yourself.” She sighed. “Let me give you a taste of what it would be like to be a goddess—even a minor one. Just point to the seat and think ‘cushion.’”

Bliss could hardly believe this was happening. Did she have the power to make things appear and disappear at will now? She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and thought, “Cushion.”

Something soft landed on her head. Opening her eyes, she noticed a matching cushion to the one Mother Nature had conjured tumbling onto the floor.

Gaia reared back and laughed.

Bliss glanced at Drake, who appeared to be trying hard not to smile. He set the glass of water in front of Gaia.

“See? I’m not cut out for this,” Bliss said.

“I’ve heard you’re a quick study,” Gaia said. “I won’t have the time or patience to train you.”

Bliss’s eyes rounded. “Then how would I know what to do? I might transport myself into the middle of a tree or accidentally blow up the Internet.”

Gaia smirked. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let you loose on the world without supervision.” She snapped her fingers and another young woman appeared. She looked exotic and was wearing colorful silks in the style of a belly-dancing costume. “Where were you, Thalia?”

“Just having a bit of fun,” the young woman said and chuckled. “Some kid found a beer can on the beach and rubbed it, wishing for a genie.”

Mother Nature rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes… you’d get along just fine. Bliss, this is Thalia, the muse of comedy. If you take the offer, she’d show you how to be a muse. And, Thalia…” Gaia pointed to Bliss. “This one doesn’t need you putting crazy ideas in her head. She has enough of those already. I’d just need you to teach her to be a well-behaved minor goddess.”

“Of course.” Thalia bowed to Mother Nature and rested a hand on Bliss’s shoulder. “You can count on me. What will she be the muse of?”

Mother Nature pointed to the middle of the room where a desk and computer appeared. “Keeping electronic communication healthy. Not poetry readings like the rest of you ninnies. She’ll be in charge of the Internet.”

“Whoa.” Bliss held up one hand. “Don’t I get a vote? Because if I still have a shred of free will, I don’t want the job.”

Thalia muttered, “Damn! Me and my sisters would love to be rid of that responsibility.”

Bliss shrugged. “Sorry.”

Mother Nature folded her arms. “Are you sure?”

Thalia draped an arm around her shoulder. “We could have so much fun! Think of the video bloopers. You should at least try it.” Thalia pointed directly at her. “Don’t touch the politically incorrect jokes, though. The jokes are mine.”

Bliss was tempted to back away. “Watch where you point that thing.”

Thalia leaned back and laughed.

“Look, you make it sound like fun,” Bliss said. “But I’ll bet there’s a whole lot of unfun stuff you’re not telling me about.”

Gaia straightened to her full height. Actually higher than her full height. She appeared to be hovering a few inches off the ground. Thunderclouds appeared in her eyes.

Oh, shit. Now I’m in for it.

Just as unexpectedly, Gaia floated to the floor and her whole demeanor changed. “How about a bribe? If you live in this little hovel, you can’t be making that much. Here’s a money tree.” Gaia pointed to the spot where she’d put the desk, and it disappeared. A second later a tree with rectangular leaves replaced it.

Are you kidding me? Bliss strolled over to the tree and plucked a crisp hundred- dollar bill from a low branch. With her mouth hanging open, she swiveled toward Gaia. “You can do that?”

“Of course I can. I’m Mother-freakin’-Nature. If I want a tree to grow puppies, I can make one.”

Bliss was too blown away to speak. Drake ambled over to her and put his arm around her waist. “I have some money saved up to buy us a bigger place. We don’t need to rely on Mother Nature to provide for us.”

Her gaze swept over the tree. It was firmly rooted in the floor. The ceiling was high enough to accommodate several branches, and there must have been thousands of dollars on it.

“I reward my muses. The last one wanted her own gallery on Newbury Street. That wasn’t cheap, either. Believe me.”

Thalia chuckled. “Actually, I think the tree is kind of brilliant. Unless there’s something else you want…”

Bliss stared at Drake and thought hard. At last she said, “I can’t think of anything I want that I don’t already have.”

Drake pulled her into a long, warm hug.

“Aw… that’s so sweet. I’d better go before you attract flies.”

“Wait,” Drake said. “Before you go. If Bliss doesn’t want to be a muse, I don’t want to be immortal.”

Gaia’s jaw dropped.

“I can’t imagine facing eternity without her.”

The powerful goddess threw her hands in the air. “You two are impossible to please.”

“Sorry,” Bliss said. “But thank you for the generous offer.”

“We’re happy just the way we are,” Drake added. He wrapped an arm around Bliss’s waist and gave her a side squeeze.

“Your loss.” Mother Nature folded her arms and disappeared.

Thalia stayed behind.

Bliss leaned in and lowered her voice. “Can she hear us?”

“Only if she wants to, and I doubt she does.”

“Whew. I can’t imagine working for her. She seems so…” Bliss couldn’t come up with the right word.

“Cynical? Snarky? Scoffing? Mocking?” Thalia supplied plenty of appropriate options to choose from.

“Yeah. All of that.”

Thalia shrugged. “You get used to it.”

“Well, I’m used to working for myself, and I like it that way.”

“Are you sure you won’t change your mind? There are so many cool things you could do. Do you like Paris?”

“I’ve never been there.”

One finger snap later, Bliss and Thalia were sitting atop the Eiffel Tower. It lit up the night in multiple colors. Bliss panicked and grabbed on to a steel beam. “What the… ? How did you do that?”

“Simple.” Thalia snapped her fingers and they returned to Drake’s apartment.

He was glancing all around as if wondering where they went. “Sheesh. I was afraid I’d lost you.”

“You’ll never lose me.” Bliss walked into Drake’s open arms. Thalia smiled and said, “I guess you really do have what you want.”

“I really do.”

Thalia winked and disappeared.

“Well, that was… enlightening,” Bliss said.

“Once again, you amaze me.”

“How is that?”

“You stuck to your guns. Even the most powerful goddess on earth can’t beg or bribe you out of your integrity.”

Bliss smiled. “And you impressed me too, lover. Giving up your immortality? For me? Are you sure you want to do that?”

He caressed her arms and gazed into her eyes. “Positive.”

They shared a long, languorous kiss. Their lips parted at the same time, and their tongues sought each other and swirled in perfect synchronization. Bliss’s heart was full.

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