After closing the notebook, I clutch it to my chest tightly and whisper through the sobs, “I love you too, Dad.”
14
I’ve been a counselor here at Camp Hope for the last two weeks and I love it. No, like seriously love it. I have never been around so much happiness and so many smiles as when I’m with these kids. At the end of the day, I’m covered in dirt and grime, and sometimes glitter depending on the arts and crafts activities, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
I’m on sports detail today and we’re playing soccer. It makes me think of Bryan. Actually, ever since I read my dad’s journal, everything reminds me of Bryan. I want to give us another try. I just haven’t figured out how. I haven’t even seen him since we talked a few weeks ago. I drove past his apartment in some futile hope that he would still be living there, but since the building is technically part of Ithaca College’s housing department, I knew he wouldn’t be there. For all I know, he could have moved back home.
“Can I help, Melanie?” Ruthie, a ten year old camper with Downs Syndrome asks as she pulls on my shorts.
“Of course you can. Let’s get this net out onto the field. You take that side.”
“Okay, I got it. Let’s go.” Her enthusiasm has me tripping over my feet as we stumble out of the supplies closet.
When we get out onto the field, I’m swarmed by the group of kids. Then Will, the counselor who I’ve been assigned to work with for the summer, blows the whistle. The kids all line up in the sideline. They’re so eager to please. Everyone is brightly smiling and jumping up and down as they not-so-patiently wait for our instructions.
Playing it up like he’s some kind of drill sergeant, Will clicks his heels together and stands up straight as an arrow. “Okay, Cadets. Here are the rules.” The kids laugh at his imitation. They know him too well to take him seriously. One of the boys at the end of the line gets a serious case of the giggles and Will calls out “Hey you! Stop that laughing now.” The little boy chokes back his laughter and salutes Will. The second Will’s back is turned, the boy starts laughing all over again.
Will winks at me and carries on with his little routine. The kids count off into “odd” and “even” teams and they sprint onto the field. After about ten minutes, we call a time out so that everyone can grab some water. Will walks over to me and hands me a water bottle.
“You’re doing great, Melanie. The kids really like you.” Will’s hazel eyes light up as he compliments me.
“Thanks, Will. I really like it here. I can totally see why you come back year after year.” I take a sip of my water and sit under the shade of the tree.
“Yeah, this place is great.” He sits beside me and dangles his bottle of water between his bent knees. We sit in companionable silence for a few minutes as we sip our water. Having worked with him every day for the last two weeks, we’ve built up a decent friendship. The conversation usually flows freely, but as I finish the last of my water, the stretched-out void feels awkward and uncomfortable.
Will chugs down the rest of his water and turns to face me. “So, are you busy tonight? Can I take you out to dinner?”
His question catches me off-guard and I stumble over my words. “I, uh, yeah, I mean, no.” Taking a deep breath, I steady my shaking hands and nervous words. “Sorry, I can’t. My mom and her boyfriend are actually coming in for the weekend. They should be at my place when I get home.” I gulp down a large swig of water. Anything to keep me from having to speak again. I like Will, a lot, but just not like that. I knew that I would be assigned to work with a more experienced counselor for my first summer. But when I found out that I was being paired up with the tall, dark and handsome man with the blinding smile and witty charm, I was more nervous than excited.
Taking my rejection in stride, he stands and holds his hand out to help me up. “Well, then maybe next Friday, huh?”
“Sure. We’ll see,” I say as I brush the grass from my butt.
Just as we’re about to walk back out onto the field where the kids are clamoring to get started again, our boss and camp owner, Holly walks up to us. There’s a girl standing meekly at her side and I recognize her immediately.
“Hey, Melanie, Will. I’d like you to meet our newest camper. This is Emmie. She just registered today.” When she hears my name, Emmie glances up at my face. Recognizing who I am, she runs into my arms and squeezes me tightly.
“Melanie!” She squeals with delight. The power of her hug has us spinning in circles. When Bryan and I were together, I spoke to her on the phone constantly. I think she liked having another girl, besides her mom, to talk to. I’m not surprised that she remembered me, but her recognition warms my heart like the glowing sun.
Pulling away from her, we exchange smiles. A look of confusion passes between Will and Holly before Will asks, “How do you know each other?”
Tucking Emmie into my side and draping an arm around her shoulder, I tell him, “Emmie here is my BFF. We go back a long time.” Emmie’s big brown eyes twinkle with pride and admiration. “We’re just about to get back to our soccer game. Did you want to be on my team, Emmie?”
“Yes. I love soccer!” She jumps up and down and claps her hands excitedly.
Holly squats in front of Emmie to make sure that they’re at eye level. We’re all very conscious of never talking down to the kids. “Okay, well you have fun then, Emmie. If you need anything, let Will or Melanie know. I’ll be back before lunch, okay?” Holly ruffles Emmie’s hair as she nods.
Squeezing my hand tightly, Emmie pulls me out onto the field. She’s pretty much my shadow for the rest of the day which works out perfectly for me. It means that I don’t have to explain how I really know her to Will. And he knows better than to get too involved in a conversation around the kids. They’re little sponges who absorb everything you say so we’re very careful to hold off on the personal talk until after work.
At the end of the day, I walk Emmie out to the parking lot. It’s not a sleep-away camp so we all wait with the kids until their parents pick them up. Waiting there with Emmie, I ask her the question that’s been on the tip of my tongue all day.
“So Emmie, who’s picking you up today?”
In true thirteen-year-old-girl fashion, she shoots me an eye-rolling look. “Bryan is, silly. Who else would?”
I want to say that I wasn’t sure where he was. That I haven’t seen him in weeks and that I didn’t even know he was still living in the area, but I know that wouldn’t be fair to Emmie. Besides, I don’t even know what she knows about us.
“There he is.” Emmie grabs my hand and pulls me toward Bryan as he steps out of his car.
He looks about as surprised to see me as I was when I saw Holly walk onto the soccer field with Emmie in
