Hold Tight

Chapter 23

Confessions

“But what does he mean you’re thinking about him?” Kaylee asked for what had to have been the fifth time.

We were in my room, her backpack lying on the floor where she’d dropped it when she first arrived half an hour ago. We were supposed to be catching up on missed schoolwork to free up our weekend. Instead, I sat on my bed with my legs crossed, elbows on my knees, and my forehead resting on my palms.

“I’m not thinking about him.” At least not intentionally. Every now and then, my stomach would cramp and my hands would tremble. Reed’s name would flitter through my mind. That was how I knew the withdrawals were getting the best of me.

Had Reed seen me hugging my knees close to my chest as I waited for the worst of the symptoms to pass? Was his gift out of kindness to ease the growing desire, or was he waiting for me to break and beg him to save me?

“Are you sure he isn’t here now?” Kaylee asked.

“Yes. The air’s too warm, and I can’t smell his cologne.” Only, I knew the woodsy fragrance that accompanied Reed was his natural scent. It was one of the many things that made him hard to resist.

Kaylee set the note on my dresser, picked up the small wooden box, and opened it. “You kept the candy?”

Guilty.

“Did you eat any?” she demanded.

“No.” But it wasn’t for lack of wanting to. I peered at her through my dark bangs. “The candy is the least of my problems right now.”

“The candy is how Reed managed to get in your head in the first place. It’s a huge part of your problem.”

“Is not.”

“Then you won’t mind if I burn it.” She held the box in front of her. The first indication that she’d called upon her powers was the faint aroma of lilies.

“Go ahead,” I challenged, yet my powers rocketed awake and traveled to my fingertips.

“I will.”

Kaylee squinted, just like when she’d trained to create magical fire, and I bit my lips to keep from screaming, STOP! Blue flames erupted in her palms, except now I held the wooden box clasped tight in my sweaty hands.

“Did you just save Reed’s chocolates?” Kaylee gaped at me.

“I didn’t mean to.” I tossed the box on the carpet. It opened, and tiny fuchsia and blue nuggets spilled out.

“You. Are. So. Gone,” she said as she dug her phone out of her front pocket.

I snatched it from her. “You can’t tell Josh or Isaac.”

“Why not?”

“Because they’re still upset with me about the deal I made with Caden.” I sat back down on the bed. “Isaac’s convinced Caden is going to force me to do something that’ll taint my soul. He doesn’t need the stress of knowing Reed still has a pull over me. I’m dealing with it.”

Her hand flew to her hip. “Protecting a box of faerie food is not exactly dealing with it.”

“I’ve resisted eating any.”

“Yet you can’t stand the idea of it being destroyed.”

“Please, Kaylee. Keep this between you and me.”

She sighed. After a few seconds, she took a seat next to me. “So when are you going to tell me what really happened with you and Caden?”

My shoulders slumped forward, relieved for the change in conversation. “I did. We made a deal. He saved Chase. I’m in his debt, no questions asked.”

“I know you, Madison. There’s more to the story than what you told us at the hospital. I’ve given you the week to ’fess up, but you haven’t.”

I shrugged. “I recapped. Full story ends the same way.”

“Maybe, but what I want to know is the part you neglected to tell us that has you fidgeting with your rings instead of looking at me.” She gave a pointed stare at my hands.

I bit my bottom lip. I did need to talk about that afternoon, and this was Kaylee, my oldest and most trusted friend. I told her about the original deal: my soul and only twenty more years to live for the crossroad demon to heal Chase’s wounds. How I didn’t have a soul to give. Kaylee listened in silence as I recounted every last detail of my meeting with Caden—until I covered my face with my pillow and blurted, “Ikissedhim.”

She lowered the pillow. “I’m sorry. I didn’t get that.”

“I kissed him,” I repeated before hiding my face in my hands.

“Ew!”

I peeked through my fingers.

Her mouth puckered as if she’d sucked on a lime. “Why would you kiss a demon?”

Caden wasn’t just a demon. He was a damn sexy demon. Not that that had anything to do with why I had kissed him.

“To seal the deal.”

“The kiss doesn’t count, then.”

I crushed the pillow in my lap as I spoke. “I cheated on Isaac.”

“No, you didn’t. Lip-locking with a supernatural hottie to save your little brother doesn’t count as kissing,” she sputtered, and I think she half-believed it. Then her nose scrunched up. “Besides, you didn’t enjoy it.”

Something in my expression must have said otherwise.

“Oh my God! Madison, what is with you and non-human guys?”

“Well, he’s had a lot of practice.”

Silence fell around us. What else could I say?

In a twisted way, Kaylee was right. I hadn’t kissed him because I’d wanted to. Caden had chosen how the deal would be sealed, and had I shoved him away, Chase would be dead.

“You have to tell Isaac,” Kaylee said, breaking into my reverie.

My jaw dropped. “I can’t. I’m too ashamed as it is.”

“Not about the kiss,” she quickly clarified. “Under no circumstance should you ever mention that kiss to anyone. Don’t even think about it. From this moment forward, it didn’t happen.”

I had to chuckle as I listened to her stumble over her words. “Agreed.”

She gave a That’s that nod and said, “You have to tell Isaac about Reed. He needs to know the unity spell didn’t stop your cravings for faerie treats.”

“I can’t, Kaylee. What if he decides our relationship isn’t worth this much work? Think about it,” I pressed on when she opened her mouth. “In the time we’ve known each other, he’s had to deal with vindictive classmates, our powers colliding when we try to get close, and faeries. So what do I go and do? I add demons to the mix. The last thing I want him to know is that my insides are screaming for something that is missing and that I know damn well if I would eat one of those little pieces of heaven—” I pointed to the floor where Reed’s candy still lay invitingly on the carpet “—the void consuming me would go away.” I paused. “Who in their right mind would stick around?”

She placed a hand on my arm. “Someone who cares about you, and I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because I called him.”

Chapter 24 Jonesing