Eternal

And I’m not leaving—not till they drag me out.”

He reached for my hand and drew it down against his cheek. We sat like that for several minutes, the room entirely silent but for the beating of our hearts. “It’s really you,” he said at last. “Not a trick.”

I shook my head. “Nope, not a trick.”

“Can you . . . will you just . . . hold me?”

I sat beside him, drawing him down till we lay side by side. “God, I’ve missed you,” I said, breathing in his familiar scent as he wrapped one arm around me, my head resting on his shoulder now.

“I’ve thought of you every minute of every day,” he answered. As we lay there, he combed his fingers through my hair, our hearts beating in perfect unison. Fifteen minutes passed. A half hour, maybe more. Eventually his fingers stilled in my hair, and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep. But then he shifted, drawing me closer.

I scooted down, moving my cheek to his chest. “Please tell me you’re going to be okay.”

“I’m not the same, Vi,” he said, his voice catching. “I’ll never be the same. Not after what I did.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You know that. You heard what Mrs. Girard said. It was Jack—she made him tamper with the serum. She threatened his brother,” I added, hoping to lessen the sting of betrayal.

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t do it. That I’m not capable of doing it again.”

I took a deep breath. “What did they do to you, Aidan? I felt . . . heat. Burning heat. And my shoulders— there was this awful, tearing pain. Like my skin was being ripped open.” Absently, I rubbed a hand over my shoulder, remembering the horrific sensations.

“You felt that?” he asked, his voice laced with incredulity. “But . . . how?”

“I don’t know. It’s like I somehow got inside your head. At least, I assume it was your head. And that I was feeling some of what you were feeling.”

He closed his eyes, his chest rising and falling with a ragged breath. “I am so very sorry, Violet.”

I rose up on one elbow, gazing down at him with a scowl. “Why are you apologizing to me? You’re the one they were torturing. God, how could Mrs. Girard allow them to do that to you? When she knew what happened— knew it was her fault!”

“She never should have let me out.”

“What are you talking about? You didn’t deserve to be in there in the first place!”

“—and now to drag you into this, into her plot. It’s unconscionable.”

I sat up sharply. “You’ve got to snap out of this, Aidan. I mean it. You’ve got to get yourself together and do what she’s asking. Become her Dauphin, or however the hell you say it. It’s the only way she’s going to let you go free. Besides, it sounds like it’s the right thing to do.”

“I’d rather be destroyed.”

My face blanched. “How can you say that?”

“You don’t realize what you’re asking of me. To join them, to lead their war . . .” He shook his head. “It’s not what I want, Violet. I’m done. Finished. I’ve made peace with that.”

“Done? What do you mean, done? You’ve got a second chance now. We’ve got a second chance.” Now that I had him back, there was no way I was letting him go, not like this.

“I’ve brought enough trouble into your life already, don’t you think? Besides, what chance do we have if I agree to their plan? I won’t have my cure. If I accept this role, it’s a lifetime sentence. In my case, that’s an eternity. I can’t be destroyed, remember? Except by you.”

“I’m not destroying you.”

“We’re at a stalemate, then, aren’t we?”

“If you just do what they’re asking, you’ll stay alive. Don’t you get that?” My voice rose a pitch, my breath coming faster now. “Whatever the cost, it’s worth it.”

“Not to me. Don’t you get that? I’d come so close—so very close—to finding the cure. To having it all, everything I’d ever hoped and dreamed and wished for. The darkness lifted. My humanity restored. And you, Violet.” He brushed the back of one hand down the side of my face, eliciting a shiver that racked my entire body.

“Especially you,” he continued. “It was within my grasp, and now it’s gone, all of it. I can’t go back, not now. Don’t you see? All I had, all I lived for, was that hope. And now—now I have nothing. Nothing to live for, to hope for. Would you really wish that existence on me?”

The pain in his voice ripped my heart in two, and yet . . . call me selfish, but yes. Yes, I’d wish that on him. I couldn’t bear the thought of the alternative.

“There’s got to be some other way,” I said in desperation. “We just . . . go along with it for now. Do whatever they need you to do to win the war and secure peace, and then we can renegotiate.”

“The Vampire Tribunal doesn’t negotiate, Vi. Surely you must know that by now.”

“Bu-but you’ll be their leader,” I stammered. “They’ll have to do whatever you say.”

“My guess is that I’ll be their leader in the same fashion that the Eldest is now—in name only. A puppet, nothing more. You heard what Mrs. Girard said—she wants me to take my place by her side. By putting me there, she becomes the most powerful vampire alive, not me.”

I digested that in silence. He was probably right, I realized. It made sense, especially with what I knew about female vampires. They were far more powerful, more aggressive than males. Still, it was our only hope. And I wasn’t ready to give up, even if he was.

“I’m not letting you go back to that prison, Aidan. They can’t destroy you—she said so herself. So you just leave. You go.”

His lips curved with the trace of a smile. “Go where?”

“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “Somewhere. Anywhere. I’ll go with you.”

He let out a heavy sigh. “They’ll find us, Violet. They’ll hunt us down, to the far corners of the earth. It’s no use.”

“How do you know they will?”

“Because they think they need me. Nicole can’t access the kind of absolute power she wants without me. They’re not going to give up, not without a fight.”

“But if they can’t destroy you—”

“Even if they can’t, they can overpower me, hold me captive. They can do whatever else the hell they want to me. Trust me, Dauphin or no, they had the best of me these past two months. Look at me—I’m weak. I’m young and inexperienced, as far as vampires go. They think I’m some mythical creature, a prophesized savior. Well, you know what I think? I think they’re wrong. I can’t save anyone, least of all myself. I’m just a dead man walking.”

14 ~ Metamorphosis

Aidan struggled to sit up, wincing as he did so. He looked entirely drained after that last outburst.

I offered a hand, tugging him forward as I pushed the bed’s single pillow behind his back. “You okay?”

“Just . . . exhausted.”

I gave his hand a squeeze. “I am not letting you go, Aidan. Seriously. We’ve got to figure something out. We can talk to Matthew, see if he has any ideas.”

“Matthew? Oh, right. Dr. Byrne. How is that . . . relationship . . . working out?”

“It’s good. He’s been like a brother to me—an overprotective big brother. And he’s been working on your cure. Actually Matthew, Tyler, and Sophie are all working on it together.”

“Tyler? Now, that’s a surprise. I thought your little friend was the one who was ready to hand me over to the authorities from the get-go. I should think he’d be gloating.”

“Nope. Believe it or not, he’s going to be glad that you’re back. Crazy, right?”

He dropped his gaze, refusing to meet my eyes.

“Don’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m serious. You’re not going anywhere.” I tightened my grip on his hand for emphasis.