certain amount of real humanity. We haven't been able to pinpoint a specific cause-effect relationship, so it's difficult to say when or what will do it.'
'When did it happen for you?'
'I was thirty-four, but I was the youngest ever. I was also the only one to have a baby after the Ang'dora . Besides me, the ages have ranged from thirty-eight to fifty-something. Most were somewhere in their forties.'
'I'll get that old first?' I wondered. I hadn't been prepared for that. Mom had never given me details before and I just assumed she stopped aging in her mid-twenties. Tristan said he just stopped aging at twenty-one, so I thought it was the same for us.
I thought about the idea of living that many years as a somewhat normal human. It meant there was a good chance I could still have the settled life I sought, at least for a while. But then I realized I would get old and Tristan would not. I knew there would be some difference—Mom looked older than Tristan—but I'd never expected I would be near forty …or older .
I sighed sadly. 'I hoped it would be sooner so maybe Tristan and I could get past this.'
'I wish I could help, but we really don't know, honey. This is something you'll have to get through on your own. All I really know is we have each experienced true love first. Real love, like what you and Tristan have. So who knows with you? You're quite different than the rest of us, anyway.'
'Will I be as beautiful as you and Tristan?'
She smiled brightly. 'You will be splendid . Ours is an inner beauty that radiates outward. It is part of who we are. And you have so much love, hope and faith within you already—you will outshine all of us.'
I figured that's what all Amadis moms told their daughters, because I surely didn't feel much love, hope and faith. In fact, they seemed to be buried under despair and distrust…mostly distrust of myself.
'As for Tristan,' Mom continued, 'he was made to be exceedingly attractive, another tool in his toolbox—or bait in his tackle box would be more accurate. I do have to say, though, his outer beauty has improved since the first time I met him and, I admit, he's become even more exquisite over the last several months.'
I thought I was the only one who noticed. Great. He's getting even more attractive and I'm still plain me .
The night following my last final exam, Tristan and I met some of my classmates at Mario's to celebrate surviving the semester. Carlie from communications had been in one of my spring classes, too. She'd invited us to join her, along with her roommate and another friend and a couple of guys from our class, since they were coming to the Cape. Neither Tristan nor I really wanted to be there, but it was something to do to avoid being alone.
Not particularly enjoying the conversation, I slipped into observation mode. Carlie's roommate and friend were a lot like her—pretty in an all-American, girl-next-door kind of way. I noticed they were quite flirtatious with Tristan and, for someone who didn't want to be there, he was exceptionally warm toward them.
After seeing the engagement ring on my finger, Carlie had mentioned once that maybe she'd been wrong about Tristan. I wondered now if she'd noticed what Mom and I had and decided he wasn't so scary after all. She'd been right in the beginning that there was a dangerous side to him, but…she missed the part of how exceptionally loving and generous he was, too. He was an unbelievably rare and beautiful creature, inside and out, and I was doing a pretty good job of completely blowing it with him. I sighed.
His head snapped up and he looked at me with an odd expression, then his eyes darted to something behind me. I couldn't tell if anger or interest flickered in his eyes as they narrowed. He pursed his lips, then went back to the conversation with the girls. I was so used to being the center of his attention, I even noticed how he hadn't looked back at me, but focused immediately and directly on Carlie and her friends.
Trying not to be too obvious, I snuck a peak over my shoulder to see what caught his attention. Mostly men lined the bar—except for one leather-clad, long-legged female who took a seat at the end closest to the door. Her long hair was almost as white as the silk, low-cut blouse she wore. Her skin was nearly as pale, smooth as a porcelain doll. The black leather mini-skirt and knee-high boots contrasted starkly with the rest of her. She was absolutely gorgeous. All the men at the bar agreed—they stared at her with their mouths hanging open.
I sighed again. Yep, I'm really blowing it .
My self-esteem plummeted right through my feet and into the floor. I bit my lip and stared at my lap, my right hand turning the engagement ring on my finger round and round. How can he love me when he can have that ? Why would he want to be with me ? I definitely don't deserve him.
Disgusted with myself, I mumbled something about needing to get home for something stupid, nearly knocked my chair over as I hurriedly stood up and made a beeline for the door. I didn't even wait to see if Tristan followed. I was close enough to walk home and almost welcomed the idea. As I passed the bar, though, a rough- looking man stepped away from it, directly in my path.
Evil! Stay away! Bad! Danger! Evil!
'They're cute,' he said, nodding at Carlie and her friends, 'but you, lassie, you're a pistol. There's fire in your eyes.'
My alarms sounded loudly but I stood frozen in place. I stared at the man in astonishment. He might have been attractive at some point in his life, but his face was rough, weathered, threatening. He looked like an ugly, overgrown leprechaun.
What are you doing?! Run now! Evil!
I inhaled sharply—the smells of booze, cigarettes, rotten meat and, strangely, sweet citrus poured off him —and eyed the path to the door. As soon as I shifted toward an opening, he shifted that way, too, grinning maliciously, exposing crooked, yellow teeth. Not a leprechaun…an ogre .
'Where ya going, lassie?' he asked with an Irish accent. 'I just got here. Don't leave already. Lemme buy ya—'
Someone grabbed my left hand from behind me and pulled me back. My heart jumped as the thought he had an accomplice flashed through my mind, but Tristan stepped in front of me, holding my hand at the small of his back. He stared angrily at the vulgar man, stopping him in midsentence. I was pretty sure Tristan couldn't kill with just a look, but if he could, this man would have dropped to the floor dead.
'Ah, Seth,' the man said. They glared at each other and then the ogre nodded at me. 'This one yours, huh? 'Bout time ya took advantage of what ya got. Nice catch.'
I looked at Tristan, confused. The ogre acted like he knew Tristan.
'Back off,' Tristan growled.
'Ah, come now, I was just having a little fun. Got your name on her, huh?'
'I don't even know her. Just leave her alone.' He squeezed my hand, I thought to send me a message. I took it to mean to go along with it or keep my mouth shut. I did both.
'Ah, just a play toy, then?' The fiend sneered. 'Why don't ya share?'
'I said to back off!' Tristan took a half-step forward.
The ogre laughed throatily. 'I think we need to have a little visit. It's been a while.'
'Not here. My place.'
'Ha! Ya think I'm stupid? Nah. We stay in public, where there's witnesses. O'Shea's, by the beach.' The ogre drained his full glass of amber-colored booze the bartender had just set down, threw money on the bar and started for the door before we even moved. He glanced over his shoulder. 'And don't even think about letting her go. Bring the lass.'
'Tristan, who is that?' I asked once the ogre left.
'Shh…he can still hear us,' he whispered.
'Hey, Alexis, Tristan, you still leaving or did you change your minds?' Carlie asked from behind us.
Tristan swore under his breath, then said, 'We have to go.'
He pulled me toward the door, not letting go of my hand. I followed him to the car in silence, nearly jogging through the rain to keep up, narrowly avoiding big puddles from the day's downpours.
'Now?' I asked once we were in the car. He nodded. 'So, who is he? He's wretched!'
'Yes, that he is.' He stared forward out the windshield, his jaw muscle twitching as his teeth clenched. 'Give me your ring.'
I instinctively hid my hand far away from him and stared at him wide-eyed. He changed his mind? I already blew it?
He looked at me and his face softened, as did his voice. 'Just for now, my love. He can't see it. They can't
