waste. All she'd needed to do was bring in Galina and Minh, and I would have known immediately they didn't have the voice I'd heard at the council meeting. I could have told her–tried to tell her–but she refused to listen. And now she was giving up, leaving me with no way to access the other council members until the coronation ceremony.
'Have you at least overcome your problem?' she asked me.
I shook my head, then sighed. Her point was clear–why bother with the rest of the council members if I couldn't share it with her? If I couldn't prove anything anyway?
'What's wrong with me, Tristan? Why can't I control this damn shield?' I fell onto the bed and blew out a big breath of frustration.
We'd just returned from an evening walk through the village, which Rina had convinced me to take to practice my power around more people. 'The more you practice, the more comfortable you will become,' she'd said before I left her office this afternoon. The walk had done nothing to ease my mind, though. Several of the townspeople harbored serious anxiety–I couldn't help but pick up their indignant thoughts that reflected some of the council members'. No, it wasn't a relaxing stroll. And it definitely did nothing for my shield.
I'd shared everything with Tristan, including Rina's disappointment in me and her implication of the last month being a waste of time.
'I don't think she really sees it that way,' he said. 'You at least had a lot of practice, which is probably why Rina continued with it for so long. If she'd truly thought it a waste, she would have ended it long ago.'
'But that's it–it was a waste because it didn't do what she'd hoped. It didn't help me get comfortable enough with this power. I'm still strung so tight, and I can't shake the freakin' shield!'
Tristan took my hands and pulled me up into a sitting position. He knelt in front of me and lifted his hand to push my hair back from my face. A small smile played on his luscious lips.
He made his voice low and sexier than ever. 'I have an idea about that.'
'Oh, really?'
'That first night we were here … the last time we really made love–'
I grimaced, humiliation and guilt both tugging at me. 'Yeah, I remember.'
'Do you think that's when you blocked–'
My eyes widened. 'Oh! Maybe you're right! I was so freaked out, I threw up my wall so hard and fast …'
His fingers trailed along the side of my face and across my cheek to my lips. 'So maybe that's how we take it down.'
Before I could think about it for a second, his lips pressed hard against mine, and my body immediately went into hyper-drive. I wanted him so badly, it hurt, and his lips and his touch against my skin heightened the ache until I couldn't stand one more second of not feeling him inside me. And if this would bring down my shield, I would take the chance of humiliation. This is right. This is what I need. This is what I want!
Or so I thought.
First I felt the wall crumbling. Felt the mind signatures coming through. Then, when Tristan moved just right and nearly sent me into oblivion, I felt the shield tremble. I knew I needed to let it fall. Let it go. But if I did … No! My whole body went rigid. So did my mind. I refused to share this intimate moment again. I refused to let go.
Which meant no loss of control, not of the shield or of myself … and no orgasm for me, either.
'That … was inadequate,' Tristan muttered as we spooned afterward.
'I'm sorry. I just … couldn't. But at least you–'
'Yes, my love, but it's no fun without you. It's not the same.'
My heart sunk. I never thought I'd become one of those women who faked orgasms. Now I understood why they did it. I wanted him to enjoy it, even if I couldn't.
He gave me a squeeze that didn't make me feel any better.
'Did it at least work?' he asked.
I sighed. 'No. That was the whole problem. I couldn't bring myself to let go.'
'Hmm,' he murmured in my ear. 'Don't worry. We'll figure something out.'
He said that a lot lately. There was a lot to figure out. But for someone who has the best answers, he kept coming up short. Our problems seemed to be too big for even him.
Tristan woke me up at the crack of dawn, wired and excited.
'We have to talk to Rina immediately,' he said, pacing along the side of the bed. 'Hopefully she hasn't said anything to the council members about a traitor yet and we have to stop her before she does.'
I sat up and stretched, the sheet falling into my lap. 'What's going on?'
Tristan stopped his pacing and his eyes lingered on my chest, still bare from last night. Then he frowned. I frowned, too, self-consciously pulling the sheet up to cover myself.
'What?' I asked.
'I … uh … forgot what I was saying.' He picked up his shirt from the floor, the one he'd worn yesterday, and tossed it at me. 'You're too sexy for my own good.'
I smiled to myself as I pulled his shirt on. 'Better?'
He grinned beautifully, which made me lose my train of thought. 'Yes. Thank you. So what was I saying?'
'Um … something about Rina, I think.'
'Right. She wants to start an investigation outside of the council, which means notifying the members of her message about the traitor. She can't do it yet. I had an idea this morning. She needs to let you have a chance with the rest of them.'
'I doubt she'll do it. She wants to move on. I've already wasted her time, remember?'
'We have to convince her, Alexis. You need to do this before you lose that protection. Right now, with your shield so tight, you couldn't expose your power if you wanted to.' He dropped onto the bed in front of me and held my eyes with his. 'There's a lot of discord and not only on the council. Rina does need to expand the investigation, but it'd be in her best interest–all of ours–if you can feel out the council members first. Find out who's fueling the fire.'
As soon as we finished breakfast, Tristan and I went straight to Rina's office, but she wasn't there. He asked me to mentally find her, but it only took me a moment to notice her mind signature was nowhere in the mansion.
'She's not here, but Char's about to–'
A faint pop was followed by Charlotte's appearance at the other end of the hall. Her fists rested on her hips and her eyebrows lifted high.
'Do you plan on training this morning or were you going to ditch me?' she asked.
One hand shot up and her wrist flicked, then something sailed through the air at us. Just as they trained me, I eyed the object, identified it and timed my movement to pluck it safely out of the air. I held the knife by the hilt and stared at the gleaming blade that could have done some serious damage.
'We start weapons training today. Are you coming?'
I tilted my head at Tristan.
'You go,' he said. 'I'll find Rina. I'll join you as soon as I can.'
Tristan disappeared with a pop, leaving me to explain his abrupt exit to Charlotte without telling her too much. Not one to waste time, Charlotte flashed to the gym and I followed. With her announcement about weapons training, I expected to find the full gamut of practice weapons spread out in the main training room, but only glinting discs, some star shaped and others round with razor-sharp edges, waited for me. At the other end of the room stood various sized dummies. She taught me the different ways to throw the discs, and I practiced with the dummies, Char correcting my form whenever necessary. Which was embarrassingly often.
'Has Owen taught you everything about mages?' she asked after a while.
I glanced at her as I let go of the disc I was about to throw, and it went wild, bouncing off the stone wall. She lifted an eyebrow.
'It should have cut the stone, not bounce like a rubber ball. You're still not putting the right amount of power into your twist.' She clasped my hand in hers and demonstrated–again–how to hold the disc and how to flick my
