Devotion

'Until I have further orders, you have no authority. Sorry, Ms. Alexis, but I can't let you down.'

I flexed my left hand, preparing to show him I did have authority, but then Mom popped by my side, and we both looked at her with surprise.

She shrugged. 'Thought I could help out.'

The guard and I both smiled, each of us under a different impression of whom she planned to help. Mom placed her hand on the guard's arm while talking to him in hushed tones. She nodded her head slowly a few times, and he started nodding his, too.

'Yes, Ms. Sophia, a nap's a good idea,' he said. 'I didn't get any sleep last night.'

He slid down the wall until he landed on his rump. His eyes began to droop close. Mom jerked her head at the door.

'More will be here soon for the trial,' she thought. 'Make it quick.'

I rushed through the door and hurdled the entire flight of steps, landing at the bottom with a jolt. I ran to the third cell on the right, surprised to see the heavy wooden door wide open. But metal bars still kept me out. Tristan stood on the other side, his hands pressing at the space between the bars, but unable to go through it. Something blocked him from reaching out. I leaned against the bars and pushed my own arms through the openings–nothing stopped me from going in.

'Tristan,' I half-breathed, half-cried as I caressed his beautiful, but tired looking face.

'Ma lykita,' he said, his voice full of relief. 'You're okay.'

'We have to get you out of here.'

He shook his head. 'Magic blocks me from even passing my hands through, so I can't use my powers. But it's fine. We'll deal with this their way.'

'But their way is wrong. They're all screwed up. You know what will happen.'

'I do.' His jaw tightened, making the muscle jump. 'But there's a reason for it all, my love. Whatever happens, it's meant to be.'

'Not if they're doing it on their own or … with the wrong influence.'

'There's nothing we can do, Lex. We have to trust them. In the end, they'll do what's right.'

Trust them? Ha! 'You mean trust them to split us up? Because you know that's what they'll do. They want to get rid of you. This is all the traitor's doing, Tristan. There's nothing right about it.'

'Lexi,' he said, his voice lower yet still firm. He took my hands in his and pulled them to his soft lips. 'Lexi, my love, none of it matters. We have to remain loyal. We have to do what's best for the Amadis. This is the best–'

'What? Separating us is not what's best. It's the absolute worst! I can't do that again, Tristan.'

He pursed his lips together. 'You have to, Lex. It's your responsibility and if you do it–and you are strong enough–you can bring the Amadis back together. You have to live your duty and your purpose. Even without me.' He paused for a long moment. When he spoke again, his voice came out bleaker than I'd ever heard it before. 'What we have …' He stopped again and swallowed hard. 'What we have, Alexis … it's not real.'

My eyes bugged with incredulity. Had the crazies overtaken him, too? 'What the hell are you talking about? How can you say that?'

'Listen to me,' he said. His eyes looked deeply into mine, his dark with no gold flecks, the green a murky swirl of pain and turmoil. 'I need to tell you something. As soon as Lisa mentioned the stone, I remembered it all. I said I didn't because I didn't want to believe what it meant, and your knowing would only make things worse. I thought …' He shook his head. 'It doesn't matter what I thought. What I wanted. It's obviously true.'

'What?' His defeated tone frightened me. How bad could it be?

'The stone, Lex, in the pendant. You and me–it only happened because of it. It's always been the stone. It had been given to me as a young child.' His vision of a beautiful, golden-haired and golden-eyed woman showed in my mind, standing before us. From the perspective, I guessed Tristan to be very small. The golden woman held the triangular stone in her hand and pressed it against his chest, until it sank below his skin and disappeared. 'She told me I would know when the right one came–my true love–the stone would tell me. I was to remove the stone and give it to this person, my soul mate. Only her, the woman stressed. Anyone else would be dangerous, perhaps fatal. But my soul mate would love me forever. For hundreds of years, the right one never came along. Not until I met you. Only then did the stone warm, whenever I was with you.'

I saw the vision of him taking a scalpel to the skin over his heart, reaching in and removing the stone, then creating the pendant for me.

'Ooo-kaaay,' I said, trying not to be creeped-out with where the stone came from. 'You gave it to me. I am your soul mate. I do love you forever.'

He shook his head. 'Only because of the stone.'

I couldn't help it. I laughed. After all, he had to have been kidding. This had to be a joke. But what awful timing for such a joke, and looking at his face, I knew he was completely serious. My jaw dropped, and I sobered. 'Have you lost your mind? My love has nothing to do with a stupid stone.'

He pressed his lips against my knuckles. 'I wish I could believe that. I really do. But ever since we lost the pendant … we argue all the time.'

'We've been under a lot of pressure.'

'We've always been under a lot of pressure, and we never argued before. We always stood together. The stone united us.'

'Bullshit,' I spat. 'Why are you doing this? You don't even sound like yourself. What's wrong with you?'

'Alexis, please don't make this more difficult for me. I do love you, regardless of your real feelings. And I love the Amadis. You need to do what's right for them, and I'm not right for them. I can't give you a daughter. I can't give you–or them–what they need.'

'Tristan–'

'Listen to me. The ones who thought we were meant for each other were wrong. Rina must have interpreted the Angels' message incorrectly. I'm obviously not meant for you. I'm not the right one. We only believed it because of the stone.'

'Stop talking about the fucking stone!' I yelled. 'My love for you has nothing to do with it. And I will not let them separate us!'

'Don't you get it?' he growled. His eyes flashed as he lost all patience. 'She only gave the stone to me so I could trick you into loving me.'

'You didn't trick me. You can't do that to someone's feelings. You can't do that to my heart. I know what I feel!'

'And it can't be love, Alexis. Not true love. I. Can't. Be. Loved.'

'Oh, no! No, no, no. You're not doing this. You're not destroying us because of your guilt.' I jabbed my finger into his chest. 'Stop it now, Tristan. Because I love you whether you like it or not. I love you. No matter what you or some stupid woman says! Besides, there's a prophecy. I've read it myself.'

'Prophecies aren't specific enough. You can't be certain it means you and me.'

'Then so what? Screw the prophecy. Screw the stone. There's still you and me, and I feel what I feel. I won't deny it. But are you? Are you denying our love? Do you love me?'

He growled again. 'Of course, Alexis. More than anything and everything combined. Which is why I've been so selfish. It's wrong. I have to let you go, to do what's best for everyone.' He pulled my arms to his chest and stepped forward so we both pressed against the bars. But our faces–our lips–couldn't touch. 'Do what's right, Lex. In the end, it will be good. It's what's supposed to happen.'

Two hands grabbed my waist from behind and tugged. 'No! Tristan, no! I don't believe this! I'm not giving up on us!'

'Go, my love. Just go.' He lifted my hands to his lips again, but the guard jerked me out of Tristan's grasp. 'I love you, ma lykita.'

I love you, too, my sweet Tristan, I called back. Whether you believe it or not. I love you. Forever!

I didn't know if he heard my last words. The guard had me outside by then, beyond the shield, which might have severed our mental connection. Without a word, Mom took my hand and pulled me around the side of the building. She stopped and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

'Are you okay?' she asked.

I shook my head and more tears flowed. 'He's giving up, Mom. He thinks it's best for the Amadis.'