“Dorian’s room is on the third floor, right?” Blossom asked, her voice carrying down the stone stairs.
“Yes,” Mom answered.
“I can feel his presence,” Blossom said.
Mom didn’t say anything right away, but then replied, “I think you’ll make an excellent converter. You’re very intuitive.”
“I’d never thought about it until Alexis mentioned something before . . .” Blossom’s voice trailed off, but I knew “before” what. Before shit hit the fan. Before our safe house fell. Before Dorian was taken.
Mom murmured something to Blossom, but she’d dropped her voice low and they’d moved too far away for even me to make out the words. I didn’t bother eavesdropping on their thoughts. If Mom—or Rina, the Council, or anyone else—blamed Blossom at all, that was between them. Otherwise, Mom would be telling her what I already had: it hadn’t been her fault. The blame fell squarely on me, and I’d paid the ultimate price for it. The piece of my heart that walked in this world outside of my body had been taken from me.
Char remained by the fire, I paced again, and Tristan waited patiently for Mom to return, which didn’t take long. With just the three of us, she must have felt more herself, because her whole body sagged, as though she’d been keeping up a pretense of strength and leadership for everyone else’s sake and could finally discard it. She and Charlotte exchanged a look and then fell into each other’s arms for a long embrace. For the first time since I’d returned from Hades, I saw real emotion on Charlotte’s face.
My heart, already in pieces, broke into smaller ones for her.
Her son was officially a traitor. How does a mother deal with that? Dorian hadn’t chosen to leave us for the enemy, but Owen had. He’d deserted his primary job of protecting me right when I’d needed him most and had possibly done the exact opposite—hurt me worse than anyone could physically do. He’d basically told me and the rest of the Amadis, including his mother, to fuck off, because he’d rather serve Kali. The very soul that had hijacked his father’s body. I knew how
“Well, we’re not dead yet,” Mom murmured as she still held her long-time friend.
“Then we must be getting stronger,” Char said. She gave Mom a final squeeze before stepping away. They traded small, sad smiles. “Which we’ll need to be.”
“Yes, we will.” Mom continued scrutinizing Char’s face.
“I’ll be okay, Sophia,” the warlock said. “I have a lot of faith.”
Mom studied her friend one last moment, then finally nodded. “Go get some rest. I’m sure you need it. Can you muffle the room for me first, though?”
“Sure.” Char said her goodbyes to all of us, and then she headed for the door while moving her hands around and out. She gave Mom a final nod before disappearing to the place she kept on the Island.
Mom rushed over to me and threw her arms around me again, just as she had when I’d first come off the jet. She held me tightly against her while one hand stroked down my hair and back.
“Honey, I am so, so sorry,” she said, her voice a little choked. “I really am. I’ve been trying to be what everyone else needs me to be, but all I can think about is our boy. Our little boy out there, probably scared to death. I keep trying to think of how we can do something, but—”
I pulled away from her to see her face. “What do you mean?”
Since she couldn’t hold me in her arms, she took my hands into hers. “You’re right, Alexis, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Not now. Not like this. Dorian was kidnapped, and if he were any other Amadis child, everyone, including Rina and the Council, would be all over it. But . . . unfortunately . . .”
“They’re not,” Tristan finished for her.
She shook her head, her eyes filled with misery. “He’s an Amadis son. It’s his destiny. And nobody can argue with that fact, not when it’s happened consistently for over two-thousand years.”
“But you don’t agree with it?” I asked, hope fluttering within me. If I could convince Mom to back me up, maybe she’d persuade Rina to change her mind, and the Council would have to accept her decision.
“It doesn’t matter what I think. Or you, either of you,” she said, looking to Tristan and then at me. She released my hands to push her own through her hair as she turned and paced a few strides before turning back. “That’s what you need to understand. I want to go after Dorian as much as you do, honey. And Owen, too, the little . . .” She didn’t finish, but I could imagine what she wanted to call him. “Believe me. But I meant what I said on the phone. We have a duty. Thousands of people—billions if you include all of humanity—need us.”
Anger replaced the hope I’d felt only moments ago, and my muscles tensed. “I told you. I get it.”
“I don’t think you do,” she said. “But you need to. Earlier today, when you and Blossom were about to work that spell—my sense focused on you. I knew what you were doing, and I secretly hoped it would work. But Alexis, I was also in a meeting with Rina and the Council. She was too tired to be in the room physically, but she attended mentally, which meant her mind had been open to all of us. When I sensed the truth about you, she knew, and the whole Council did, too. You can’t be doing stuff like that.”
“Maybe you should stop focusing your sense on me,” I suggested not too kindly. “Especially when Rina’s mind is connected to yours.”
She let out a sigh. “Easier said than done. You’re my daughter. He’s my grandson. I can’t stop worrying about you. It’s not a conscious decision to focus my sense on you right now. I can’t help it. It goes to you automatically.”
“I can’t just let him go, Mom,” I said quietly.
“I know, honey.” She drew me back into her arms, and if I wasn’t so angry about the whole thing, I might have finally cried. It felt good to be held by my mom again. “Trust me, I know. But unless something changes, you’re going to have to. At least make it look like you are. If I can find a way to persuade everyone that rescuing Dorian is in all of our best interests, I will. But so far, I haven’t been able to. Even pursuing Kali or Owen can’t be justified in their eyes. Not when all of humanity need us elsewhere.”
I could tell by her voice, by the way she held me, by the exhaustion in her eyes she truly had tried. And she would keep trying in her own way.
“In the meantime,” she said, “I have to keep you on track. There are too many lives at stake. Too many souls. So please don’t hate me for it.”
“I could never hate you, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you, too, honey. And Tristan and Dorian. Very much. Maybe . . . maybe we’ll find a way.”
She left us with that bit of hope at the entrance to our wing on the third floor. But after the warmth of the heart-to-heart wore off, I realized there really wasn’t much hope in what she’d said. I was glad to know she hadn’t completely dismissed Dorian, that she loved him and wanted to keep him with us. But she didn’t want it badly enough. Not as badly as Tristan and I did. We would risk it all to save our son. Thank goodness we had others who were willing to help.
I awoke in our suite at the butt-crack of dawn, no longer able to sleep, although it had only been four hours since I’d laid my head down. The other side of the bed was empty—Tristan apparently couldn’t sleep either. I found his mind signature in the gym behind the mansion, and his thoughts were tightly focused on Lucas as his body beat the hell out of a punching bag. I let him be and felt out for other minds that were awake. Three so far —Mom, Vanessa, and Ophelia, the head of staff in the mansion.
After laying in bed until I couldn’t lie there a second longer, I showered and dressed, then made my way to the kitchen to find Ophelia already pouring coffee for me in the dining room.
“Ms. Alexis,” she said with a curtsy. “Chocolate croissants and strawberries?”
I didn’t feel exceptionally hungry, but now that I thought about it, I couldn’t remember the last time I ate. “Some bacon, too. Thank you.”
Ophelia inclined her head, then disappeared, only to reappear a minute later with my breakfast. I’d barely begun eating when Mom joined me at the table, followed by Vanessa, who looked considerably calmer than she had the last time I saw her.
