Cyrus realized that was no concern. Outside, the snow fluttered down in heavy waves, and had begun to stick to the ground and the rock face opposite them.
“Midsummer snow storm?” Aisling asked. “Perhaps the gods are with us after all.”
“The Luukessians say the gods do not know these lands,” Cyrus said. “And I doubt the God of Storms is much of a fan of our work anyway.”
“Speak for yourself,” Aisling said, doing a little pirouette that caught Cyrus’s attention. “Everyone’s a fan of my work.”
“Oh?” Cyrus asked dryly. “Do you do a great deal of public exhibition of that sort of thing?”
She shrugged airily. “Only when I have a partner I really want to work with. Otherwise I tend to perform in private-and on privates-”
“Okay,” Cyrus said, brushing past her, “you’ve found the edge of my comfort zone again.” He took the torch and gathered a few more pieces of wood, setting them in a small pile further into the cave, just out of sight of the entrance. “Let’s make a fire, then maybe we can take turns getting some rest.” He looked to the mouth of the cave. “Seems like this will be far enough back to avoid any suspicion or anyone seeing the light of our fire.”
“You know,” she hunched next to him as he worked to start the fire, “most men might find themselves grateful if they’d had their life saved by a beautiful, mischievous, young woman-flexible in all the right ways, if you catch my drift-and might find some way to repay her for such a kindness, perhaps in a way she had long been asking for.”
Cyrus stopped what he was doing, and a piece of wood slipped out of his hand and almost put out the kindling he had been trying to start. “Now? We’re surrounded by enemies, in the middle of their territory,” he waved at the walls around him as though they were under open sky, “and now you come back to propositioning me?” He sighed.
“Is it really such a bad thing?” She was hushed, deflated, all the air out of her.
“No, it’s not. And if you had done so almost anytime in the last thirty days-at the right moment, at least-I would have given in to you without question.” She brightened as he said it. “But.” He watched her pause, uncertain again. “I would have been using you,” he said. “You were right; I was in love with Vara. Completely, utterly, soul- consumingly, if that’s even a word. I wanted her more than anything, and when she cast me out of her graces, I moved to Cattrine.” He felt a grimace. “When she hurt me, it was only after she had … accustomed me again to something I hadn’t realized I had been missing. It’s left me … somewhat confused, full of sensation and emotion and urges that I honestly thought I had well and truly suppressed.” He looked back toward the little fire, placed a few small sticks onto it and watched it begin to catch.
“But it’s not suppressed anymore, is it?” She eased next to him, took a small piece of tinder and put it on the burgeoning flame. “You’re loosed, and you feel it now, the blood in your veins, and …” Her hand reached down, under his armor, through the gap in the chainmail, and he felt her warm touch on his side, on his skin, and somehow it lit a fire of its own in him. “You’re not cold to me like you were before.”
“I’m not,” he admitted. “I was in love. I had no room in my mind, my heart, for anyone but her. But then I started to feel something for another woman, and it changed things. She changed things,” he corrected. “But she’s gone now, and I’m empty, Aisling, empty all the way to the bottom of me. Whatever is left is only desire, there’s no emotion behind it.” He looked into her eyes, warning her with everything he had.
“I want it,” she said quickly, urgently, and she kissed him on the lips, a kiss he did not return. “I don’t care how empty it is, I want it. I’ve wanted it all along.” She kissed him again.
“I feel nothing,” he said, stopping her. “There’s nothing in me, now. Whatever I had, the two of them took. It’s not fair-not to you, anyway-”
“I’ll decide what’s fair for me,” she said, kissing him again, pushing herself into his arms. “I’ll decide what’s good for me, what I want.”
“This …” Cyrus kissed her, felt her kiss back, let her hands run over him, taking his armor off, “… this is all you get, you realize? No emotion, no heart, just … the physical. It’s all I have left.”
His armor dropped off, piece by piece, and her dark blue hands ran across his pale, hairy chest. She tugged him closer, letting her leather armor slip off over her head, exposing herself to him and pushing close. He could see the contrast now, the dark navy skin against his winter white; the night and day, the difference between her and the other women. “I want it,” she said again, and she helped him out of his pants. “I want it. To hell with the rest.”
The fire had taken on a life of its own and burned, quietly, a slow roar next to them while the snow and wind howled outside the cave, and the warmth within took on a life of its own.
Chapter 36
Cyrus awoke to a long beam of light reaching across the dirt floor of the cave. He started to sit up and realized there was something on his arm; after a moment he acclimated to his surroundings and remembered why Aisling was lying across his body, her hair tickling his shoulder and her soft, steady breathing rising and falling against him. A forceful whinny behind him caused him to look over at Windrider, who glared at him accusingly. “I have no oats,” he said. “Maybe some grass.” A snort from the horse caused Aisling to stir, then sit up, allowing his arm to be free.
“Good morning,” she said, blinking the sleep from her eyes. She pushed the stray strands of white hair off her face, tucking them behind her in a ponytail that she made by tying her hair with a string. “Did you sleep well?” she asked with a mischievous grin.
“I did,” Cyrus said, trying to keep his expression carefully neutral, even as she let the blanket fall away from her chest, and the cold air became obvious. “Which is surprising, given that we’re in a somewhat sticky predicament.”
“Mmm,” she said, stretching. “Were you talking about our escape and flight from the scourge or what happened last night?” She lay back across his chest for a moment, teasing him with a gentle bite to the ribs that caused him to jerk in surprise. She sat back up and laughed, looking at him with undisguised mirth. “Still so sensitive. We’ll work on that.”
“You sure?” Cyrus asked. “I mean, what I said last night stands …”
“I heard you then,” she said coolly. “I’m a big girl. I told you what I wanted all along, and if what you want from me is just the thrilling realm of a physical relationship,” she swung a leg over him, climbed on top and straddled him over the blanket, “then I promise, I can thrill you more than those other ladies could.”
“Oh?” Cyrus said, leaning back on his arms. “As much as I’d love to test that assumption this morning, it’s going to have to wait. We need to get moving.”
“Couldn’t it wait just a little while?” she asked, teasing one of his chest hairs by twirling it on her finger. “It wouldn’t take long at all … at least for me. You might take a little longer, based on what I’ve seen so far.” Her face split with a wicked grin, her eyes shining even in the light of the faded fire, burnt down to embers.
“Later,” Cyrus said, and indicated for her to move. “I’m not immune to your charms, but I am possessed of a sense of self-preservation, and we have no idea how many of those things are out there nor where they are. We need to start hoofing it.” He looked to Windrider. “Literally, in your case.”
They dressed quietly, Cyrus eating some bread from his saddlebag, giving some to Aisling, and then feeding the rest to a semi-appreciative Windrider, who still seemed to be glaring at him. Once they were done, Cyrus started toward the entrance to the cave but felt a subtle tug on his arm. He looked back to see Aisling, shaking her head at him. “Let me look,” she said. “You’re absolutely terrible at any kind of stealth. You’ll give us away if they’re out there.”
He shrugged and stood back, extending his arm toward the entrance in invitation. Aisling crept to the side of the cave, hugged it, and seemed to blend into the shadows. He could see her move, slightly, every now and again, but only because he knew she was there and where to look. She crept to the entrance of the cave over the course of five minutes and looked out, avoiding the sunlight that was coming in. After a minute, she turned and slipped back toward him, taking another couple minutes to make it over to him.
