Wild Darkness

Lark stayed on the line. “Excellent job.”

“Yeah, maybe. Let me know if you need anything. I’m sending some people up to Oregon later today. They’re going to hook up with folks from Pacific. Are we covered in Idaho now?”

“Yes. We’re good. Cascadia land includes Idaho and they’re pretty organized. Most of their people already lived in close quarters and we were able to connect them with contractors and security people to get the place walled and hooked up to cameras and all that. We don’t have many witches out that way, but about seventy percent of them have opted to move into the enclave with the wolves. The rest will stay where they are, but have acknowledged the dangers and volunteered to call to check in twice daily. It’s the best we can do with Others in far-flung places who decide to remain out of the enclaves.”

“Don’t you dare feel guilty for that. People are making their own choices for all sorts of reasons. We cannot make everyone safe. We gave them options, they will take them or not, but in the end it’s up to them.”

Lark laughed. “Seems to me, missy, I’ve had this exact conversation with you.”

“Yes. Well.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow to fill you in on what I learn tonight. Molly is doing a bunch of interviews. We installed some nifty new tech here so she can do sat feeds and doesn’t have go to the studio every time.”

“Good. I feel better knowing that. We’re having dinner with Mom and Dad tonight. Faine insisted so he can announce his intentions or whatever.”

“Mom’s gonna love that. When are you going to Lycia?”

“He wants to go as soon as possible. But right now things are sort of crazy and I’m not ready to do the binding thing yet.”

“Binding thing? You didn’t even tell me!”

“I didn’t? I just figured. Well, you said you knew he’d set his sights on me. How can you not know?”

“Well, the Ne’est thing is a whole different level! Jeez. You can take your time. He’ll wait. If he’s declared you’re his Ne’est, he’d wait forever for you. It’s not something more than ten percent of them do. It’s rare and it’s forever and it makes me so happy!”

“It’s sort of weird. Two sisters. Two brothers.”

“It makes sense I guess for them both to have that connection to us. Partly it’s at the DNA level, or so Simon tells me. We’re related.”

Helena closed the door and came back to sit in front of the video conference set. “So what’s it like? The binding I mean.”

“I was worried. That it would be too much, or that I’d feel trapped. But really? Do you sort of feel like when you enter a room he’s in, there’s like a cord of energy between you?”

“It draws me to him. If he’s around it’s like I know it on some level. But I can’t read his thoughts. He’s cagey.”

Lark laughed. “They all are. But the binding, it sets that connection. It amplifies it. I can think about it and know where Simon is right now. It doesn’t hurt that since all this got worse he makes an effort to be near me all the time. But still. I don’t need to be near him. But I know where he is. I can sense great shifts of emotion. If he’s angry or happy or hurt. They’re rebuilding Heart of Darkness right now and he was putting up shelves in his office and suddenly I just know he’s been hurt. And he’s pissed off. Given our current circumstances I flipped out and rushed over there because he’s not answering his phone. He had driven a nail through his hand and he’d done it stupidly and that’s why he was pissed. But I don’t know his thoughts. And he’s a man, so. It’s not like chances are it won’t be about food or sex at least eighty percent of the time.”

Helena laughed.

“It ties your life force to his. That’s a clumsy way of explaining something that is . . . well, it changed my life. It didn’t take anything away from me. I’m still quite able to be annoyed with him. I can still look at Gage’s butt and recognize it for the masterpiece it totally is. I’d love Simon just as much without the binding. But Leviathan now sees me as one of their own. I made a commitment to him and his family both here and in Lycia. That meant a lot to Simon. Family and pack means a lot, you know?”

“Do you think I should do it? It seems so fast!”

“It’s been months since you’ve known him. You have been through some hard-core stuff with him at your side. You know how he’ll act in a crisis. You know he’ll have your back. Do you love him?”

She thought about it carefully. This wasn’t a question she should take lightly. But the answer was inescapable and she was totally, utterly sure. “Yes.”

“And he loves you. More than that, by undertaking the binding he’s declaring you’re it. Forever. He wants to cleave himself to you. Which sounds old-fashioned, but gods, it makes me so happy. It calms me and sustains me that I have someone who commits so wholly. That’s what he wants for you. You are, as long as I have known you, the kind of person who commits to something with everything she has. You are his match. He is yours. So yes, I think you should do it. I think you deserve that kind of connection to someone. You deserve that commitment and happiness.”

“I’m so afraid of failing. Of failing him. Of failing everyone.” She grabbed a tissue from a nearby box and tried to dab her eyes without messing up her makeup. “See, this is why I hate to cry. It’s too hard to keep my liner and mascara from running.”

“Shut up. You look like a freaking model even after you barf. And look, everyone is afraid of failing. What is the point of having important things in your life if you don’t care enough about them to worry you could mess them up? I know we were raised to believe failure is unacceptable. But that’s bullshit. Failure happens because no one is perfect. And because very few things in life are totally in your control. So all you can do is your best.”

“When did you get so wise?”

“I think it might be some of Simon’s wisdom I get through the binding.”

Helena snorted. “That is a plus.” She took a deep breath. “I guess I need to just suck it up and jump, huh?”

“Yeah. I will say up front that the first few hours after the ceremony you’re sort of swimming in all sorts of Lycian pack stuff. Simon said it was like me settling into the collective space the Pack exists in. Like the heart of the Pack or something. Sort of like the Font, I guess. Will you tell me when you go? I want to be there with Simon.”

“Yeah? I’d really like you to be there.”

“Good, that’s settled. I’ll talk to you soon. And Hellie? I’m so happy for you. Faine is a lucky dude.”

She was still smiling when she came out of the conference room.

Faine was across the way, leaning against a desk and speaking earnestly with her father.

“Uh oh.” She gave them both a look when she got to them. “Should I be concerned?”

“I was just telling your father that you’d been named head of the Defense and Security arm of the COO and what some of your orders were. He and I agreed they were quite good orders.”

“And I was telling him your mother won’t break out anything with tempeh in it until he’s been around a while longer. We’re having chicken for dinner so don’t be late.”

“In all fairness, she’s a really good cook. I do not agree with her stance on vegan baked goods, but her tempeh stuff is actually quite tasty. I’ll bring something sweet.”

“Okay.” Her dad squeezed her hand and stepped back. “See you two in a bit.”

“I have an other hour’s worth of work and then we can head out. That work for you?”

Faine nodded. “You all right? You’ve been crying.”

Damn that Lycian nose of his. “It’s okay. I just had a nice heart-to-heart with Lark.”

He followed her back to her office. “A heart-to-heart that includes crying?”

“I was going to tell you once we left the office, but since you look so concerned, I’ll tell you my news now. Yes.”

“I like it when you say yes, alamah, but to what are you agreeing? Something really dirty, I hope.”

Perhaps with Faine it might be closer to 90 percent of his time thinking about sex.

“The binding I mean. You asked and I said I needed time and you’ve been very good about being patient. Mostly. And I know we need to go to Lycia and I was talking to Lark about it and we started talking about the binding and . . . and anyway, yes.”

His smile, which had been wicked and dirty, softened into something else and it brought a sigh to her lips.