“I'm just tired a lot these days. I actually thought I might be… well…”
“Pregnant?” Tina suggested quietly.
Jessica nodded. “Yeah. I'd been tired, and I'd—well, there were other symptoms. And Nick and I—anyway. I was wrong. Definitely not pregnant.”
“Does Nick know?”
She looked away. “Nobody knows except you guys.”
“Oh.” I knew Jess very well, better than anybody (I was pretty sure), and I knew why she hadn't said anything. I didn't like it, but I could figure it out.
“If you thought you were carrying his child, then perhaps you should tell him you're ill.”
“I don't want to. I didn't want to tell you guys, remember?”
“Oh, I remember.” I still had tile marks mashed into my butt, for God's sake.
“It's like—it's not real if nobody alive knows. Right?” She smiled crookedly, dark eyes filling with tears. “It's not happening to me if the only people who know are dead.”
I felt like a total toad, watching her cry. “Come on, don't do that.” I hugged her. Had she lost weight? Was she bonier than usual? I was embarrassed that I didn't know. And why hadn'tI smelled anything different? Sure I was still rather new at this, but couldn't I learn stuff like that? Was I that damned selfish? So wrapped up in my own troubles that I didn't care when my best friend caught cancer?
And hey,could you catch cancer? I didn't know a thing about it. That would change as soon as I could get my ass to a computer. Or my hands on those seven fucking specialists.
“You're living with the king and queen of the vampires, a werewolf, an actor,and a doctor.”
“And a Libra,” Tina piped up, a rare joke.
“Right. We'll help you. We'll fix it.”
“You're an idiot,” Jessica sobbed in my arms.
“That's the spirit!”
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you,” she finally offered.Finally . “It's just all this stuff with Sophie and Liam and Alonzo. And your birthday and your wedding. I didn't want to be the downer, you know?”
I knew. And that's when I got my idea. My really, ridiculously, atrociously bad idea.
Chapter 12
Sinclair and I were walking up Hennepin Avenue. The cops had done a great job lately in cleaning up the neighborhood; but you could still find trouble if you knew where to look. Minneapolis wasn't Cannon Falls, after all. It was still an American city with a nightlife.
“I know what you're thinking,” he said at last.
“Prob'ly,” I said, staring at the surprisingly clean gutter. I was profoundly bummed out. Myeloma— technically cancer of the bone marrow, and the blood plasma cells there—was serious. My research had been a total downer.
It could infect everything, and it carried with it fun symptoms like fatigue, pain, dehydration, constipation, susceptibility to infection, and even—ding, ding, ding!—kidney damage.
The good news was, Jessica's cancer was slow, which gave her and her doctor—and me—time to figure out options.
But right now, I could only come up with one.
“You're thinking of turning her.”
“I'm still getting over the shock of finding out she's sick. How come you didn't say anything?”
“It wasn't my secret to tell,” he replied simply.
“I really hate you sometimes.”
He didn't say anything.
“I just—I can't lose her. My best friend! I mean, I always knew, since I'm immortal and she's not, that it was a problem I'd have to face. But notnow . She's only thirty, for God's sake!”
“Young,” he agreed.
“I'm not ready to have this happennow . And I don't want her to be sick at all. Maybe—maybe I can fix it.”
“And maybe you do your friend a disservice,” he said quietly. “Maybe you should let her solve her own problems.”
“Not knowing what to wear on a date is aproblem , pal. This is a fuckingdisaster .”
“This week has certainly had its twists and turns.”
“Oh, boy, don't get me started.” We walked along, headed toward burned-?out streetlights. “How would I even do it?” I asked. “I've never made a vampire before. Hell, I'm trying to get off the whole blood-?drinking thing entirely.”
“Which is why we're walking down Hennepin at two A.M.,” Sinclair pointed out. “As opposed to being home.”
To get back at him for not giving me a heads-?up about Jessica'sfucking fatal illness , I'd told him about my zero blood diet. He'd taken it pretty well, but I knew why.
He didn't think I could do it.
He couldn't do it, which was why we were out prowling in the wee hours.
The scene when I'd told Sinclair about my new “no blood all the time” slim-?down plan (does OB-?negative running down my chin make me look fat?) had been, like all the dramatic scenes in my life, anticlimactic.
We'd been necking in the shower and he'd moved in for a bite and I'd avoided him so deftly I nearly went ass over teakettle. He'd had to grab me to keep me from plunging through the shower curtain like Janet Leigh.
“What in the world… ?”
“Don't do that.”
“As you wish.” He'd let go. Then grabbed me again when I slipped again.
“I think we'd better rinse off before I kill myself.”
He was standing under the shower, blinking water out of his eyes and staring down at me. “What is the matter, Elizabeth?”
“Nothing. Nothing! Uh. Nothing.”
He hummed and looked at the ceiling.
“We're going to be in the shower until I spill it, aren't you?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
If I'd been alive, I would have taken a deep, steadying breath. Instead, I counted backward from five, but by the time I was down to two, I couldn't wait any longer. Besides, the water was going to get cold any second. “I'm giving up blood drinking for my birthday.”
“Giving up.”
“Yeah.”
“For your birthday.”
“Yeah.”
He rubbed his chin and I realized I had never seen Sinclair shave. Did vampires grow beards? I hoped not. Blech.
“No more victimizing would-?be rapists?” he finally said. I could tell he was hoping that would be the end of it.
“No more at all. I mean, I'm the queen, right? There's perks, right?”
“Perks.”
“Don't say 'perks' like there's a roach crawling around on your gums. Yeah, perks! And I figure, if I'm this all-?powerful kick-?ass queen you and Tina keep babbling about—”
“I never babble.”
