I trudged up the stairs. Nobody went with me, which suited me fine.
Chapter 47
Sinclair came upstairs hours later and cuddled me into his side. I sighed, and he stroked my shoulder and then kissed that same shoulder. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent... warm, clean cotton. And dried blood, of course. Mustn't forget that. Not ever.
“She died well.”
“I don't give a fuck. I want her back. I want her here.”
“As do I, Elizabeth. But I will honor her memory forever, for the sacrifice she made. It might have been your brains all over the foyer.”
“Well, what if it was? Why should I be alive and Antonia be so much cooling meat?”
“I do not know, dear one. But I am fervently glad it worked out the way it did, for all I was fond of Antonia.”
I mulled that one over for a minute or two while Sinclair sat up, slipped off my shoes, and rubbed my feet. I wiggled my toes against his palms and almost smiled. Then felt bad for thinking it'd be okay to smile, even for a second.
“I just don't get it,” I said at last.
“Get it?”
“When stuff this awful happens, you're supposed to learn something. Look Both Ways Before You Cross The Street. Be Kind To Children And Small Animals. Something. Jeez, anything. But there was all this death, all this waste, and for what?”
Sinclair was quiet for so long I assumed I'd stumped him, a rare and wonderful thing. But he was just trying to figure out how to break it to me. Should have known.
“It is that to be queen,” he said at last. “There will be times when you will see an ocean of blood and despair. So it says in the Book of the Dead, and so it shall be, dear wife.”
“You suck at cheering me up. You're not telling me there's gonna be worse days than this?” To say I was appalled would be putting it mildly. “What else did that rotten Book of the Dead tell you?”
He paused for a long time. Then: “Elizabeth, I can promise nothing, save that I will always be by your side.”
I noticed he didn't answer the question. “Oceans of blood,” I said.
“Possibly. Yes.”
“We'll just see about that.”
“Elizabeth, if you'll forgive a pun, do not bite off more than you can chew.”
“That's been the story of my life since I woke up in that funeral home wearing the Ant's shoes. Oceans of blood? Shit on that. Shit all over that.”
I had no idea what I was going to do, or how. But I was going to work real hard to make sure my friends and I never had to go through a week like this again.
This was going to sound dumb, but the empty crib in the next room was practically calling my name. I had to stop fobbing my brother on other people.
I wondered if the Ant ever visited him.
Chapter 48
It was a day later; Garrett had been respectfully buried. Sinclair owned several farms and lots of land; what with Alice's remains, among others, we were starting quite the little private cemetery out on Route 19. It was awful and interesting at the same time.
The police chief's body had been found in his home, dead from an apparent suicide. Many cops went on record saying he had been deeply depressed about retiring but had rejected counseling.
Deeply depressed. Yeah. They didn't know the half of it.
“I have to tell Antonia's pack leader what happened. They deserve to know what happened to her, how she died. How she – how wonderful she was. I got the impression her pack never appreciated her, didn't you guys?”
They all nodded. Sure, we knew. Her ability to tell the future (and not turn into a wolf) had given all the other werewolves the creeps. They had been happy to see her go. And when I had “fixed” her, the fact that she hadn't rushed back home meant so much to me. She chose to stick it out with me.
I'd never get the chance to thank her. As far as a recall, I don't think I ever thanked her for anything.
My chest hitched once... twice... then settled. No, I was done crying for a while.
“Anyway, I want them all to know how she saved me. Hopefully they can guide us in how to treat... what's left of her.”
Poor Antonia was in our basement freezer until I learned more about werewolf rituals for their dead. I wasn't looking forward to telling the boss werewolf that I'd gotten his pack member killed (Michael Wyndham had a wicked temper and a terrifying left cross), but it was something that had to be done.
Jessica didn't say anything, just poured herself another cup of tea. I'd told her my plan the night before in a lame attempt to distract her from breaking up with Nick. I felt tremendously guilty that she'd picked me over him. Of course, I would have felt a lot worse if she'd gone the other way.
Maybe someday they could patch things up. I'd see if I could do something about that. He'd been hurt and scared and said things he didn't mean. I had tried to explain it to Jessica last night, but had no idea if she really heard me. Maybe... in time...
But maybe it was for the best if they never got back together. It would sure cut down on the vampire attacks he had to endure... the price of admission when you hung out with the people in Monster Mansion. And I truly didn't know how much more Nick could endure. He seemed like a rubber band, stretched almost – but not quite – to the breaking point.
I shook my head, then noticed Marc was shaking his head. “I spend one Goddamn week in a hotel and then this.” He was feeling as guilty as I was; he was convinced he could have done something for Antonia if he'd been here.
“Mathematically,” Tina began gently, “given the age and abilities of our opponents, we got off rather lightly. And Garrett made his own choice. I – ”
“That's enough,” I said coldly, and Tina shut up.
“When?” my husband asked, mildly enough. “I'll need to clear my schedule.”
“Tomorrow.”
“As you wish.”
“I'll come with, if you like,” Laura offered. She'd been agog all evening, listening to our tale of the awful events of the night earlier. “It's not trouble at all.”
I was glad she had missed it (yay, church youth group!), to be honest. No telling what the body count would have been if she'd lost her temper. Or where the chief's bullets might have gone if he'd known who had really killed dear old dad. Just the thought of it gave me the willies.
In fact, it was safe to say that her temper was hanging over my head like a friggin' broadsword. Someday I was going to have to really sit down and figure out just what the deal was with the devil's daughter.
But not today. Not even this month. I was just so fucking tired.
“I'd be glad to come,” my sister was continuing, eager to help. “I've got a Toys for Tots meeting, but it's no problem to postpone – ”
“No, I need you to stay here and hold down the fort. And Tina – Richard, Stephanie, and Jane need looking after. Move them here while we're out of town, if that helps. Or you can move out to the McMansion until we get back. It's just temporary, until we can figure out something more permanent.”
