Dead Over Heels

I’m not getting in the middle of that. Although you are perfectly cute,” he assured her.

“We’re just friends,” she snapped, ignoring the niggle of doubt crawling up her spine. “But thanks for the cute thing.”

“No problem. But you’re one hundred percent deluded about his feelings.”

“Deluded?” she echoed disbelievingly.

“Oh, sure. He’s totally in love with you. That’s why he did all that research on every eligible male Pack member. Guy probably hasn’t slept since you got back to town.”

“He told me that was work!”

“Well, for him, it probably was.”

She banged her forehead on the surface of the bar. “Jerk. Jerk. Jerk.”

“Hey. Quit that.” Darrell shoved his hand between her forehead and the bar, so the next time her head banged down on his hand. “Seriously, stop! You’ll give yourself a concussion.”

“I never could read his writing. I saw the paperwork, it was all over the living room.”

“Well, you should quit bitching that you didn’t have any clues. You had tons of them, sounds like.”

“It’s possible I hate you more than I hate Saul.”

“Problem is, you don’t hate Saul. So why don’t you go see him?”

“Because he’s a treacherous, lying bastard?”

“Who’s been with you through—what’s the phrase? Thick and thin?”

“I have just decided,” she said, “that this is none of your business.”

“Oh, I love to meddle. Besides, you looked so cute and forlorn I couldn’t help coming over.”

“Puppies are cute,” she grumped. “Babies are cute. I am not cute.”

“Awww, don’t be so hard on yourself, cute stuff. And go see Saul!”

“Forget it.”

He cupped his chin in one hand and studied her. “Man, he’s a brave bastard. You’d be a handful.”

“Shut up. Go away.”

“If you promise to go see him, I will.”

“How about if I just beat the crap out of you instead?”

“Oh, no,” he said earnestly. “Then it’d be awkward if we ever ran into each other again.”

“What is with you?”

“I’m a huge fan of true love.”

Incredibly, she heard herself promise. Anything for some fucking peace and quiet.

Chapter 13

She charged into Saul’s living room, having rapidly metabolized the beer and deciding to get her promise over with as soon as possible.

“All right, you treacherous son of a bitch, you sneaky sly—shit.”

The house was empty. Which was weird; where was he at friggin’ midnight, anyway? He had no life outside of work! And her! And work!

Probably out spreading more odious rumors about her; she wouldn’t put it past him.

She settled down to wait. She’d wait all night if she had to. All week. And ooooh, she was going to give him such a piece of her mind, and possibly a concussion, and maybe even—

The front door swung open, and Saul staggered inside.

“Oh my God!” she cried, leaping to her feet. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Nothing,” he muttered, trying to limp past her, but she blocked his way. He had a bloody nose, the beginnings of two black eyes, and there was something wrong with his leg.

“Sit down, let me look at your leg.”

He tried to push her away and nearly fell over. She easily shoved him onto the couch, ripped his jeans open, and examined the bulge.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s broken.”

“Yeah.”

“And it’s healing really fast.”

“Ye—aaaagggggghhhhhh!”

She had slammed her fist down on the bulge, straightening out the greenstick fracture with one blow.

“There!” she said with false cheer. “All fixed.”

Saul leaned over the edge of the couch and threw up.

“I’ll, uh, go get the mop.”

“Go away,” he groaned.

“Well,” she replied, “normally that would be tempting, except now I have to go kill whoever beat the shit out of you. But first I have to mop up the puke.”

So she went to get the mop. Thank God for hardwood floors.

Chapter 14

So who did it?”

“I fell down the stairs.”

She snorted. “How many times?”

“Look, aren’t you furious with me?” He massaged his temples and winced. “What are you even doing here?”

“Sure I’m pissed. But we’ll sort that out after I kill the guy. Which would be a lot easier if you’d give me a name. Hate to eat the wrong guy. So who was it?”

“I walked into a door.”

“A door made of metal spikes?”

He groaned as she shoved a hamburger under his nose. “This thing is burned black on the outside and I just know it’s raw on the inside.”

“You have to eat.”

“You’re a shitty cook.”

“Well, consider it your just reward for past treacheries. Eat!”

He scowled at her, snatched the burger away, and took a big bite. He masticated for a moment, then said, “Dead cold in the middle, I knew it.”

“Shut up.” She handed him a glass of milk, and he drained it in three swallows. “Who did it?”

“I was in a car accident.”

“With how many tractor trailers?” She whipped out the washcloth and set about cleaning the blood off of his face, ignoring his efforts to push her away while he gobbled the burger.

“Cain, stop fussing, it’s been a long damn day.” He batted her hand away like it was an annoying insect.

“Saul, for Christ’s sake, will you cough up already? You—wait a minute.” She leaned forward and took a sniff. He tried to inch away from her but the couch was at his back and he had nowhere to go.

She sniffed harder. “I know that smell! That’s Geoff the asshole! Oh my God! I will kill him! He is dead! So totally, stinking, fucking dead!”