Forsaken

appeared to be made up of a single vine of ivy. It had been there for as long as I could remember. If you looked closely, you could tell it wasn’t even a tattoo – more like a part of my body, resembling a freckle or a birthmark. I cherished it. Out of habit, I traced the vines with my finger. It seemed to shimmer beneath my touch. The world shifted unexpectedly and I quickly lost my balance. Reaching for the sturdy balcony railing, I caught it just in time to see a look of embarrassment and horror cross Dee’s face. Then everything went black.

Chapter 2

‘Anastasia…Anastasia…’ The name was spoken like a prayer, whispering within my own mind.

The intense longing laced with heavy sadness in the woman’s voice squeezed my heart. ‘Anastasia…’ My thoughts rushed to catch up with what was happening. My breath hitched as I took in a magnificent white sand beach with crystal blue waters lapping gently at the water’s edge. The sun shone high above, but I couldn’t feel its heat. The wind blew, but didn’t touch me. The waves crashed just off shore, but I couldn’t hear the roar. “Anastasia….” This time it was said aloud. Concerned and a little more than confused, I whipped around trying to find who the velvety voice belonged to. All that lay behind me was dense jungle – wild exotic plants stretching upward toward the giant palm trees that gracefully swayed in the elusive ocean breeze. Where was the voice coming from? Turning back to face the water, she materialized in front of me. Her feet hidden by the incoming tide, she stood frozen, as if in a trance. Long, blonde hair cascaded around her delicate shoulders. The white dress that hugged her slender figure had threads of silver interwoven, creating a sparkling effect. Her immense beauty was astonishing. She lifted her arms to the sky and proclaimed, “It shall come to pass.” She closed her eyes and my already upturned world exploded.

After what felt like days, I opened my eyes, disoriented and baffled by what had just transpired. I sat up carefully, trying to find my bearings. This time I was the one in the water. I stood, just in time to miss a wave crashing over me. Bright red streaked across my peripheral vision and my eyes followed it to the beach. A couple argued in front of me, several yards away on the white sand. The flash of red was the woman’s hair. Waves of deep burgundy fell all the way down to her waist making her look more petite than she already was. A struggle began and she was thrown to the ground by her much larger attacker. I caught a glimpse of something silver in his hand. I began to run in their direction, unsure of what I intended to do once I got there. Before I could even stepped foot on the sand, I hit something. Or someone. As I regained my balance, my eyes washed over his well- defined chest, broad shoulders, and kiss-worthy lips. His dark hair swept down onto his furrowed brow, lightly ruffled by the ocean breeze. Overwhelming temptation hit me, but the threatening way his square jaw flexed as he stared down at me brought reality crashing back. Anger sparked in his deep blue eyes and I was reminded of storm clouds gathering. Dark swirling hues of blue and gray.

“Turn around and leave,” he demanded, as my attention shifted back to the unfolding scene on the beach.

“But I have to help her! He’s hurting her!” I tried to plead with him. I attempted to push him aside, but he grasped my shoulders and easily held me captive.

“What do you think you can do for her? Get yourself killed?” He retorted with a slight smirk.

“I have to at least try! Look at what he’s….!” I gestured toward the beach and realized the fight had abruptly ended. The man had vanished. Lying on her side, the woman’s body was becoming overcome by the incoming tide. A puddle of deep red had formed around her, slowly absorbing into the wet sand beneath.

I finally charged past him and sprinted to her side. I felt for a pulse, but found only stillness.

With agitation, my eyes flitted upward to see why he wasn’t helping me, but he was gone too. When I looked back down, the woman had disappeared, as well. All of my energy drained and I collapsed onto the sand in defeat.

“I should have helped…. I should have helped…” I repeated uselessly, as if it would change what I had just witnessed.

“Hannah! Hannah, look at me! Answer me Hannah!” Frantic voices shouted at me, incessantly. I was sitting right there for goodness sake; there was no need to scream. However, my own voice wouldn’t cooperate. Instead, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to stop the shrill ringing in my ears.

“Wake up, Hannah! Open your eyes!” I felt myself being shaken, so I peeked out from under my droopy eyelids. A swarm of people had crowded around me. Each face reflected a mixture of panic and concern, except Dee, who was frowning down at me with indignation.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” I mumbled, just as the memory of my dream slammed into me.

“Where did she go!?” I tried my best to sit up, but someone kept my body from moving.

“Where did who go? Who were you talking to?” I recognized Dee’s voice amidst my stupor.

“The woman – she was killed….” I stumbled over each word, realizing how farfetched it sounded even to my own ears.

“You’re talking nonsense, Hannah. We need to get you home.” I felt myself being carried back through the house, down the front steps, and someone placed me into the backseat of our car.

Someone got in beside me, doors closed, and I heard the faint sounds of people talking outside. That’s when the person beside me piped up.

“I can’t believe this. You ruined my whole night!” Laura Beth’s voice echoed in my ears. I could always count on her to make every situation about her. “Why do I have to have the sister who’s crazy?” she wailed, “You are soooo gonna pay for this!”

She slumped down in her seat and I desperately hoped she was done with her little temper tantrum. I heard two more doors shut as Dee and Charles got in the car. More hushed conversation followed, and then we were finally on our way home.

The next time I was awakened, I found myself back in my spacious bedroom lying under the covers of my four poster bed. At some point, my dress had been replaced with sweatpants and a tank top. I tried to sit up on my elbows, unsuccessfully. My head was two seconds away from exploding, so I laid back down and rubbed my temples.

“You have an appointment tomorrow morning with your new therapist.” After jumping out of my skin, I painstakingly turned my head to the side. Dee was perched beside the bed in a chair from the breakfast table downstairs. She tapped her fingers on my nightstand, anger still evident in her grim tone.

“She comes highly recommended and I’m sure she’ll get you fixed right up.” She kissed my forehead with obvious obligation, and then closed the door behind her as she left the room.

She made it sound like I had a broken arm that simply needed to be set. I didn’t need to be

‘fixed up’ anymore than I needed a therapist. If I had to explain what I’d been through with my multiple foster homes one more time to someone who smiled sympathetically and patted my knee, I was going to poke my eyes out. I already knew what happened – I was there. How could I get past it if I constantly had to relive it? What I really needed was to run far away from everything and everyone who only saw me as crazy and disturbed – start anew. Where my past didn’t define me and pity wasn’t lurking around every corner. Unfortunately at seventeen, I didn’t have that luxury. What I wanted was rarely taken into consideration. I sighed and eventually fell asleep to the steady sound of my pounding head.

* * *

The next morning, warm sunlight hit the back of my eyelids, but from the pain it unleashed, it might as well have been the flash from an atomic bomb. Okay, so maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but my tender head wouldn’t have disagreed with the comparison. Squinting in agony, I rolled over and pulled the covers back over my