Now if he could just find the authorities of this place and get the mistake straightened out, all might yet be well. He had always done his best to be righteous. Perhaps a slight delay, but not long; and then—no Callahan, no Sloane, no drafting, or bees, or grating noises!
He drew himself up and looked across at Sloane, sadly, but justly doomed to this strange Gehenna. “Mr. Sloane,” he asked firmly, “is there some place here where I can find… uh… authorities to… umm—”
“You mean you want to register a complaint? Why sure, a big white building about six blocks down; Adjustment and Appointment office.” Sloane studied him thoroughly. “Darned if you don’t look like you had a raw deal about something, at that. Look, Phin, they made mistakes sometimes, of course, but if they’ve handed you the little end, we’ll go right down there and get it put right.”
Phineas shook his head quickly. The proper attitude, no doubt was to leave Sloane in ignorance of the truth as long as possible, and that meant he’d have to go alone. “Thank you, Mr. Sloane, but I’ll go by myself, if you don’t mind. And… uh… if I don’t come back… uh—”
“Sure, take the whole afternoon off. Hey, wait, aren’t you gonna finish lunch?”
But Ph’ineas Potts was gone, his creaking legs carrying him out into the mellow noon sunlight and toward the towering white building that must be his destination. The fate of a man’s soul is nothing to dally over, and he wasn’t dallying. He tucked his umbrella close under his arm to avoid contact with the host of the damned, shuddering at the thought of mingling with them. Still, undoubtedly this torture would be added to the list of others, and his reward be made that much greater. Then he was at the Office of Administration, Appointments, and Adjustments.
There was another painted Jezebel at .the desk marked information, and he headed there, barely collecting his thoughts in time to avoid disgraceful excitement. She grinned at him and actually winked! “Mr. Potts, isn’t it? Oh, I’m so sorry you left before our messenger arrived. But if there’s something we can do now—”
“There is,” he told her firmly, though not too unkindly; after all, her punishment was ample without his anger. “I wish to see an authority here. I have a complaint; a most grievous complaint.”
“Oh, that’s too bad, Mr. Potts. But if you’ll see Mr. Alexander, down the hall, third door left, I’m sure he can adjust it.”
He waited no longer, but hurried where she pointed. As he approached, the third door opened and a dignified-looking man in a gray business suit stepped to it. The man held out a hand instantly. “I’m Mr. Alexander. Come in, won’t you? Katy said you had a complaint. Sit right over there, Mr. Potts. Ah, so. Now^if you’ll tell me about it, I think we can straighten it all out.”
Phineas told him—in detail. “And so,” he concluded firmly—quite firmly, “I feel I’ve been done a grave injustice, Mr. Alexander. I’m positive my destination should have been the other place.”
“The other place?” Alexander seemed surprised.
“Exactly so. Heaven, to be more precise.”
Alexander nodded thoughtfully. “Quite so, Mr. Potts.
Only I’m afraid there’s been a little misunderstanding. You see… ah… this is heaven. Still, I can see you don’t believe me yet, so we’ve failed to place you properly. We really want to make people happy here, you know. So, if you’ll just tell me what you find wrong, we’ll do what we can to rectify it.”
“Oh.” Phineas considered. This might be a trick, of course, but still, if they could make him happy here, give him his due reward for the years filled with temptation resisted and noble suffering in meekness and humility, there seemed nothing wrong with it. Possibly, it came to him, there were varying degrees of blessedness, and even such creatures as Callahan and his ilk were granted the lower ones—though it didn’t seem quite just. But certainly his level wasn’t Callahan’s.
“Very well,” he decided. “First, I find myself living in that room with the gray streak on the wallpaper, sir, and for years I’ve loathed it; and the alarm and telephone; and—”
Alexander smiled. “One at a time please. Now, about the room. I really felt we’d done a masterly job on that, you know. Isn’t it exactly like your room on the former level of life? Ah, I see it is. And didn’t you choose and furnish that room yourself?”
“Yes, but—”
“Ah, then we were right. Naturally, Mr. Potts, we assumed that since it was of your own former creation, it was best suited to you. And besides, you need the alarm and telephone to keep you on time and in contact with your work, you know.”
“But I loathe drafting!” Phineas glanced at this demon who was trying to trap him, expecting it to wilt to its true form. It didn’t. Instead, the thing that was Mr. Alexander shook its head slowly and sighed.
“Now that is a pity; and we were so pleased to find we could even give you the same employer as before. Really, we felt you’d be happier under him than a stranger. However, if you don’t like it, I suppose we could change. What other kind of work would you like?”
Now that was more like it, and perhaps he had even misjudged Alexander. Work was something Phineas hadn’t expected, but—yes, that would be nice, if it could be arranged here. “I felt once I was
“Minister, you mean? Now that’s fine. Never get too many of them, Mr. Potts. Wonderful men, do wonderful work here. They really add enormously to the happiness’ of our Hereafter, you know. Let me see, what experience have you had?” He beamed at Potts, who thawed under it; then he turned to a bookshelf, selected a heavy volume and consulted it. Slowly the beam vanished, and worry took its place.
“Ah, yes, Phineas Theophilus Potts. Yes, entered training 1903. Hmmm. Dismissed after two years of study, due to. a feeling he might… might not be quite temperamentally suited to the work and that he was somewhat too fana… ahem!… overly zealous in his criticism of others. Then transferred to his uncle’s shop and took up drafting, which was thereafter his life’s work. Umm. Really, that’s too bad.” Alexander turned back to Phineas. “Then, Mr. Potts, I take it you never had any actual experience at this sort of work?”
Phineas squirmed. “No, but—”
“Too bad.” Alexander sighed. “Really, I’d like to make things more to your satisfaction, but after all, no experience—afraid it wouldn’t do. Tell you what, we don’t like to be hasty hi our judgments; if you’ll just picture exactly the life you want—no need to describe ft, I’ll get it if you merely think it—maybe we can adjust things. Try hard now.”
With faint hope, Phineas tried. Alexander’s voice droned out at him. “A little harder. No, that’s only a negative picture of what you’d like not to do. Ah…,
He seemed to listen for a few seconds longer, and
Phineas was convinced now it was all sham; he’d given up trying. What was the use? Vague jumbled thoughts were all he had left, and now Alexander’s voice broke in on them.
“Really, Mr. Potts, I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do for you. I get a very clear picture now, but it’s exactly the life we’d arranged for you, you see. Same room, same work. Apparently that’s the only life you know. Of course, if you want to improve we have a great many very fine schools located throughout the city.”
Phineas jerked upright, the control over his temper barely on. “You mean—you mean, I’ve got to go on like that?”
“Afraid so.”
“But you distinctly said this was heaven.”
“It is.”
“And I tell you,” Phineas cried, forgetting all about controlling his temper, “that this is hell!”
“Quite so, I never denied it. Now, Mr. Potts, I’d like to discuss this further, but others are waiting, so I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
Alexander looked up from his papers, and as he’ looked, Phineas found himself outside the door, shaken- and sick. The door remained open as the girl called Katy came up, looked at him in surprise, and went in. Then it closed, but still he stood there, unable to move, leaning against the wooden frame for support.
There was a mutter of voices within, and his whirling thoughts seized on them for anchor. Katy’s voice first. “—seems to take it terribly hard, Mr. Alexander. Isn’t there something we can do?”
Then the low voice of Alexander. “Nothing, Katy. It’s up to him now. I suggested the schools, but I’m afraid he’s another unfortunate. Probably even now he’s out there convincing himself that all this is merely illusion, made
