chicks are real cool, man, you don’t wanna mess with these
chicks man they are cool man. The pipe goes round and round.
The neighbors become quiet. The threats cease. M gloats with
his hip, his cool, his ponytail accomplishment as peacemaker.
Hey man any time you want some smoke you just come to me
man just leave these chicks alone man smoke and peace man,
you know, man.
They file out, quiet and stoned. M is elated. He has forged a
treaty, man. M is piss-proud, man. We get stoned. Smoke,
man. The front door stays wide open as we sit in the front
room and smoke. Night comes, the dark. M points to the open
door. Just stay cool with those guys, man. Those guys come
back you just invite them in for a little smoke. It’s cool, man.
*
I have a habit, not nice. I am two years into it this time. I have
had it before. Black beauties. I take a lot of pills. The pills cost
a lot of money. N takes them too. I don’t know if it is addiction
or pleasure for her or how long she has been taking them or if
she can do without them. I never ask. These are privacies I
respect. I have my own dignity too. I pretend it is cheaper than
food.
One night N brings home a fuck, a Leo named Leo. He
steals our speed and all our cash. The speed is gone. I go into
emergency gear. I pretend it is a joke. How the fuck, I ask her
repeatedly, can anyone be stupid enough to fuck someone who
says he is a Leo named Leo? I ask this question, tell this joke,
many times. I am scared. We find a trick. She fucks him because
42-
she lost the pills. It is our code and her own personal sense of
courtesy. We get the pills. A Leo named Leo, I say. How can
anyone be so stupid? We pop the pills. A Leo named Leo. We
sit in our middle room, she is drinking scotch and I am drinking
vodka, we are momentarily flush: and the pills hit. A Leo
named Leo. We laugh until we start to cry. We hold our guts
and shake. A Leo named Leo. She grins from ear to ear. She
has done something incredibly witty: fucked a Leo named Leo.
We are incredibly delighted with her.
*
Walking down St Mark’s Place I run into an old lover, Nikko. He
is Greek. I love Greece. We say hello, how are you in Greek. It is
hot. I take him back with me. N is not there. We have a fight. I am
insulted because he wants to wear a condom. But women are
dirty, he says as a point of fact. I am offended. I won’t allow the
condom. We fight. He hits me hard in the face several times. He
hits me until I fall. He fucks me. He leaves. It is two weeks before
I remember that this is what happened last time. Last winter.
Women carry diseases, he said. No condoms, I said. He hit me
