as she searched through a file on her desk.
Char chewed her lower lip, drumming her nails against the countertop while the lady searched. Jake, being the lunatic he now was, watched Char. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, giving him the perfect picture of her high cheekbones and graceful neck. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to feel her smooth skin under his hand.
“Here’s the thing.” The lady cleared her throat. “I don’t have it.”
“Sorry, what?” Jake snapped his attention away from Char and looked at the lady. “The license? But they’re getting married this weekend.”
“Right.” The lady smiled nervously. Lipstick stained her two front teeth. “I have an idea, but I could get fired…”
“I’m all ears.” Jake tried to stay calm. “Because they need that piece of paper by Sunday evening.”
“We can expedite the process. I’ll fudge the date, but I’ll need to leave the names blank on the license.”
“Why?” Char asked. “Can’t you just type them in and fudge the entire thing?”
“They’ll know,” the lady whispered, motioning behind her to all the other people working in the office. “And like I said, I could get fired.”
Jake groaned and looked at Char. “What do we do?”
“Well, we need a license!” Char exhaled. “Okay, fine, we’ll do it. What do you need from us?”
“Sally.” A woman approached. “Is everything okay over here?”
“Perfect!” Sally exclaimed. “These young people were just picking up their marriage license! They’re getting married this week!” Her eyes pleaded with theirs.
“Right!” Jake nudged Char. “We are so excited. Aren’t we, sweetie pie?”
“Sure, Twinkie pants.” Char’s teeth clenched. “So, so, so very excited for this holy union.”
“In front of God.” Jake nodded. “And our family.”
Char nodded emphatically. “It’s just too bad I got knocked up before the wedding, huh?”
“I wouldn’t say bad.” Jake’s eyes narrowed as his grip around her shoulders tightened. “In fact I would say it was very, very, very good.”
Char shrugged. “It was all right.”
Sally and the lady chuckled.
“If you get my meaning.” Char winked.
“We are so in love!” Jake shouted, trying to cause a distraction so Char wouldn’t continue talking about his level of sexual prowess.
“Oh.” Sally clapped. “I almost forgot. I’ll need your driver’s licenses just to prove you are who you say you are.”
With a kick, Char stepped on Jake’s foot then handed over her license.
Muttering a curse, Jake pulled out his.
“They check out!” Sally beamed.
The lady behind her disappeared.
Everyone exhaled.
“I’m so sorry,” Sally said. “I know I’m being unprofessional. Now remember, you have to fill in the names of the two parties and then the witnesses, all righty?”
“Perfect.” Jake took the piece of paper and winked. “How much do we owe you for the license?”
“Sixty dollars cash.” Sally held out her hand.
Jake almost choked. “Sixty dollars? To get a piece of paper?” Was it printed on gold? Who the hell paid sixty dollars for something that took two seconds to type out?
Char elbowed him in the ribs. Luckily he always carried cash, so he pulled out three twenty dollar bills and handed them over.
“Thank you so much!” Sally winked. “And congratulations.”
Jake stared at her for a minute. Why did she look so familiar?
“Oh, look! Lunch break!” Sally stood. “Now off you go!”
“It’s ten,” Jake pointed out.
“I like to eat.” Sally walked off.
Jake stared after her.
“Let’s go.” Char grabbed the manila envelope with the license in it. “Mission accomplished, and you Grandma swore you’d make it worth my while and buy me lunch.”
Actually, his goal was to take her on a date, but she didn’t have to know that. It would freak her out; hell, it was freaking him out. He was actually going to do this. Was he ready? Would he ever be ready to take that plunge?
His manhood was on holiday, his brain was fuzzy from last night, and Char’s short white shorts weren’t helping matters.
“Hello?” She picked up her ringing cell phone. “Right. Okay, yeah, not a problem. Uh.” She flushed and looked away from Jake. “I don’t think that—” She cringed. “Fine, okay, yeah.”
“You all right?”
“Sure.” Char waved him off. “It was nothing, just work.”
“They do know you’re on vacation, right?”
“Vacation and Grandma don’t exactly fit in the same sentence.”
“Tell me about it,” he grumbled as he turned the car toward his favorite coffee shop. “I can talk to your boss, you know, if you want.”
The car fell silent.
“My boss?” Char laughed. “What are you going to do? Waltz in there, throw your name around, and make my problems go away?”
“So he is giving you problems.”
“Drop it, Jake. You’re not my big brother protecting me from the bullies on the playground.”
“Hell no, not a brother. I was thinking more of a superhero, like Superman, sweeping in to fix everything.”
Char rolled her eyes and laughed; there went more giddiness. “So you’d pick Superman.”
“Yes.” Jake exhaled and pulled into the coffee shop. “If for no other reason than wearing super tight Speedo-like pants so everyone on God’s green earth could see that I don’t wear extra small condoms.”
He should have remembered the window was open.
A woman getting into her car gasped.
Her small child asked, “Mama, what’s a condom?”
Jake didn’t think it would be appropriate to say a toy, so he just smiled and mouthed
“I think you should have explained that.” Char laughed, unbuckling her seatbelt when they’d parked.
Jake got out of the car and slammed the door. “Right, and end up getting arrested for saying the wrong anatomical word to a small child. I can only imagine how that could be taken. Jake Titus flashes small child in parking lot.”
“Oh, come on!” Char threw her hands in the air. “You’re exaggerating. The media isn’t that bad.”
“Um, yes they are.” Jake opened the door for her, and the smell of organic coffee floated around them in the shop. “And how can you defend the media? You know as well as I do that a story about me helping a small child would only get twisted into me somehow stealing their ice cream or something.”
Char reached for his hand and squeezed it. “The media isn’t against you.”
“I’m sorry. Do you watch the news?” Jake clenched her hand within his and refused to let it go. In fact, he was holding it hostage, forever. Wow, mature.
They walked up to a small bistro that served coffee and sandwiches and made their way inside.
“What will it be?” The barista asked, eying Jake up and down and completely ignoring Char and everyone else within her vicinity. Why did it suddenly bother him so much that women checked him out and openly ignored Char?
Irritated, Jake lied. “My fiancee and I—well, we just got back from getting our marriage license.” He sighed
