“It’s a waste of your time,” Khol retorted in a monotone voice. I don’t know if he was trying to be calm to talk me off the ledge, so to speak, but it in fact was having the opposite effect.
“Bryn!” I yelled, whirling around to take in his bulky form hunched over on the bed with his face in his hands, making me stop short. “What’s wrong?” I made my way swiftly to his side and dropped down on my knees beside him so I could look up into his face. Well, I would once I got his hands out of the way. After a few short tugs, his hands fell from his face and he looked at me with tears glistening in his eyes. “Bryn?” I asked on shaky breath. What could possibly cause him to tear up, because Bryn wasn’t exactly the type of guy who welled up easily? In fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen him look so remorseful.
He reached out and wrapped a piece of my hair around his index finger. Slowly, while still staring at me, he brought his other hand to gently cup my cheek with his thumb resting near my left eye. “It doesn’t feel like you anymore. It’s as if my Peej is gone.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I tried to smile but my face felt too tight. “I dyed my hair before and you were okay with it; this won’t be any different.”
His sea storm eyes sparked with dragon blue, making them appear fathomless. “It’s not because of your hair . . .” He circled his thumb by my left eye causing my lashes to flutter involuntarily. “. . . Or even your eyes.” His grip tightened in my hair and on my face, but not enough to hurt. “It’s just all of it—when I look at you—you’re not the Peej I grew up with anymore.”
“Of course I am. I’ll always be her.” But was I really? Was I ever her to begin with? Or was she just an illusion I created for myself out of the information I thought to be true about me?
“No.” He shook his head slowly while still staring at me. “She was lost to me before I ever really had her.”
“What are you saying?” Was he trying to tell me that he didn’t love me anymore? That too much had changed? My heart picked up speed as I waited for him to respond.
“I’m saying that if I thought you were too good for me before well . . .” His voice broke off and he stood abruptly. “I don’t know if I can stick with what we agreed to anymore.”
“You have to,” I whispered. “You just have to.” It was the only chance I had to truly be with him and he couldn’t take that away from me. I wouldn’t let him. “I’ll order you. I’m Queen now, and you’re half dragon. I’ll order you to stick to the plan.” I wasn’t sure if I could do that, but being queen had to come with some kind of perks.
I expected a fight, the usual Bryn pigheaded stubbornness, but what I got was worse. I got acquiescence. “If that’s what you want.” He then turned to stare out the window, his next words a low rumble. “I am your willing servant.”
“
Finally Bryn spoke. “I’ll meet you guys back at the compound.” And just like that he was gone.
Khol had remained circumspectly quiet up until now, but when Bryn disappeared, he apparently decided he needed to intervene. He grabbed both of my shoulders and shook me enough to get my attention, but not enough to cause me alarm. His green eyes flashed with anger as he looked down at me. “I’ve let this go on for long enough; it’s time for you to grow up. Not only are you going to be a mother, but also you’re going to be only the second ever dragon Queen. It’s time for you to start thinking about something other than Bryn. You’re not a child in high school anymore. You’re a woman, fully grown. And he’s behaving every bit the baby dragon I’ve accused him of being. He doesn’t deserve you if he isn’t even willing to attempt to fight for you.” His nostrils flared in and out as his chest heaved with emotion. “I’m right here. I’ll never leave you. I’ll never walk away. And my words are more than just words, haven’t I shown you that time and time again?”
What I wanted to say was that I didn’t care—that I loved Bryn and always would no matter the consequences but—but I knew I would only prove his point right about me needing to grow up. Which would mean maybe the rest of what he said was right too. And the truth was, somewhere along the line I had started caring about what Khol thought of me. “We’re sticking to the plan,” I croaked. “So there’s no point in talking about it anymore.”
Khol’s jaw ticked with tension before the planes in his face hardened out, his eyes cooling to reflect no emotion. “You will have to lead our people. It’s the legacy that Mori, your true mother, left for you.”
My lower lip trembled as I stared into his aloof eyes. “I can’t. I don’t have it in me to be a queen of anything. I’m not strong enough. I wish I was, but I’m not . . . clearly.”
He wrapped his arms around me, surrounding me in his heat, a comfort that I allowed myself to accept, although reluctantly. “She wouldn’t have given you the crown if she didn’t know you were capable. You might not feel strong now, but I’ll help you . . . I’ll be your strength until you can find it in yourself to stand on your own.”
“Why?” I asked, my voice muffled by his embrace. “Why are you always helping me when . . . ?” I didn’t want to say the rest, but I didn’t have to because I knew Khol would understand. He always understood. Why was he always helping me when I was in love with Bryn? Why was he always what I needed most, when I needed it, despite the fact that I so rarely showed him the gratitude that he deserved?
“Because a dragon’s love is eternal . . . and unconditional. Denying you what you need when I know I can provide it would be like denying myself the air I need to breathe.”
“But I don’t wanna need anyone ever again.” I mouthed the sentiments that I had been thinking barely a day ago.
“A noble notion indeed, but an unrealistic one. We all need others for something, whether it be the food we eat, or the shelter we dwell in. We—”
“You don’t need anyone.” I blurted out, interrupting him. “You could probably do everything for yourself, if you wanted.”
Khol exhaled a long breath ending on a sigh. His arms tightened around me. “I need you.”
“Me?”
“Yes. I need you to give me a reason to keep on going. I’ve already been alive much longer than you can currently comprehend, and that is why I grew weary. That is why I slept. That is why I withdrew from this world, taking my people with me.” He began running his hands through my hair, his power tickling my senses, and I relaxed into him even more. “But from the first moment I felt your power calling to me . . . I awoke with a purpose . . . a purpose that morphed into a labor of love. Everything I do, everything I am is for you. If not for you, this world could have been destroyed and it would have passed beyond my notice. You brought me back to life, my little Queen.”
Khol was everything a girl like me could ask for . . . caring, strong, smart, handsome, and even funny sometimes. And he was head over heels in love with me. More than that, he loved me probably deeper than even I could comprehend. I pulled away from him just far enough so that I could gaze up into his eyes. They were no longer cool and aloof, but filled with the vulnerability that a man wears after confessing the true depth of his emotions to the woman he loves. And that woman was me. “Khol—” I started but my throat closed up. I bit my lip, hating the fact that I was wondering what it would be like to let him claim me. Being mated to a man like Khol would definitely not be the worst thing in the world. Maybe I would even grow to love him back in the way that he wanted one day. After all, being a dragon put time firmly on our side. I then began to wonder what would happen if I gave him a willing kiss? Just one. And what would happen if that kiss led to more? Would I eventually forget what it was like to feel Bryn’s body holding mine, and only crave Khol’s? Could I abandon Bryn the way he seemingly abandoned me?
I stood on my tiptoes and reached for Khol’s lips with mine, and when they met, he pulled me to him as if he might never let go. I let my tongue explore his mouth, the taste and feel of him unfamiliar, and yet not unpleasant, just different than Bryn. Khol let me control the pace of our kiss, even though I could feel the tension in his body urging him to take control. After a few moments, a wave of lust washed over me, blanking my mind. It was completely unpreventable from my current position of being pressed so tightly against Khol, and as all coherent thoughts were carried away, I deepened our kiss. Khol’s answering growl of approval only seemed to spur my body’s desirers on further, and with my true loss of control, Khol’s tenuous grip on his snapped. We fell back onto the bed, which was conveniently close, and he covered my body with his.
