seemed to hold the weight of the world in them and for the first time ever I found myself wondering if the events of the last year had buried the Bryn from my childhood for good. “A world without you in it isn’t worth living in.” His voice cracked and broke an octave lower. “But a world with you alive and well, even if I can’t have you, is a world worth fighting for.”
My mouth opened and shut a few times, like a fish trying to breathe out of water, but by the time I found my voice, he was already gone. I sank back down on the bed in total shock, the numbness I had been feeling before Bryn had sought me out returning with full force. How could I go on without him? For me, a world where I didn’t get to have him wasn’t worth anything.
“Hey, you need any help getting to the meeting?” I looked up to meet Jeremy’s soulful brown eyes that were currently filled with concern for me.
“I thought you left,” I mumbled as my response.
After only a moment’s pause Jeremy made his way farther into my room. “I did, but I came back to check on you. I was worried.”
I chuckled darkly. “Or you saw an opportunity to swoop in and get me on the rebound from Bryn you mean.”
He frowned and shook his head. “No, it’s not like that anymore. I—well, I finally came to terms that you and me weren’t ever going to happen and I’ve moved on. You were right, maybe I never really loved you . . . just thought I did . . . but—” He looked away and flushed. “I have feelings for someone else now. And I think this is the real thing.” He looked back and gave me a tentative smile. “I’m ready to accept that offer of friendship you offered me before . . . for real this time. Or maybe I should say I can handle being a friend to you now.”
I gave him a smile that threatened to crack my face. “I guess I can’t keep anyone’s interest, can I?” I tried to make a joke but it came out sounding dark and bitter. I gulped, trying to swallow down the sour taste in my mouth. “That’s not what I meant, what I meant was that—” Much to my shame, I burst into tears before I could string together a sentence to salvage what I was really trying to say.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t cry! I know this is tough right now—with everything. I understood what you meant.” He encircled me with his arms and I let him so that I could cry on his shoulder . . . literally. As I sobbed into the soft cotton of his worn t-shirt I heard Jeremy clear his throat as if he wanted to say something to me and felt his muscles move restlessly against my cheek.
I pulled back enough to look at him and sniffled unabashed as his gold-flecked eyes bore into mine. “We should probably get going. I’m sure everyone’s waiting on us by now.”
I used the back of my hand to wipe at the tears on my face and nodded once in affirmation. In the past, I would have wanted a few minutes to try to make myself look somewhat presentable, but not anymore. I felt like crap and didn’t care if the whole world knew I felt that way by way of my appearance. I did stop to pick up one of Bryn’s oversized hoodie sweatshirts off the floor and pulled it over my head. I inhaled deeply and luxuriated in the small comfort his scent offered me. “I guess I’m ready to go,” I mumbled more to myself than Jeremy.
He put his arm around my shoulder and guided me along as I stumbled blindly beside him. We eventually reached our destination . . . the common room . . . and I let Jeremy guide me to a chair and sit me down like I was some kind of invalid, and I guess I kind of was, emotionally speaking, that is. I was vaguely aware of the feeling that all eyes were on me, but I kept mine averted and to the ground for fear of seeing the one pair I couldn’t handle seeing again so soon after their owner had just ripped my heart out . . . again.
“He’s not here,” I heard Khol’s deep voice rumble, breaking the silence in the room. I lifted my head and met his penetrating green gaze with question. “Bryn. I think he’s trying to give you some space.”
My heart twisted inside my chest—that was the last thing I wanted from Bryn—and I hated the fact that Khol still seemed to be able to read my emotions after all this time. “Oh,” was what I managed to choke out as a response. I let my eyes slide back down to the table despite the lack of Bryn’s presence.
“There’s a lot that you missed while you were . . . recovering,” Khol said tactfully. “You need to be informed of the state of things.”
I lifted my shoulders and shrugged. “Sure.”
“We found out why the Riders are trying to kill off animals,” Jenna piped up helpfully. “It was so obvious I can’t believe I didn’t see it right away. It’s because animals can see what people have inside of them. We can use the animals to help us identify the Riders without having to use just you, P.J.” She paused for dramatic effect. “And that’s exactly what we’ve been doing.”
At that I did raise my head to scan the room—not only were Jenna, Khol and Jeremy there, but also Macon, Drake, and a few dragons that I didn’t recognize. Two males with silver hair, and two males with gold hair . . . representatives of the Silver and Gold Dragon factions, I realized. Before I had fallen into the coma, we had received news of each of the factions wishing to enter into talks about the alien Riders, but to see them actually being here was . . . well, kind of shocking. I did note that the Black faction was not being represented, although I saw no real purpose for any of them being present for my so-called catching up meeting. Surprisingly, for the first time since I’d awakened from my coma, I wondered about the circumstances of my shooting. “Who attacked us exactly? I mean I assume it was the Riders but—how did they find us . . . me?”
I could almost hear Khol’s teeth grinding together from across the room. “We don’t know how they found us, or how they managed to get past our security to hunt you down so quickly, but I can assure you nothing like that will be happening again.”
“Someone ratted us out!” Jenna exclaimed in a manner that let me know this wasn’t the first time she was making this particular accusation.
“No, there must be some other explanation,” Khol stated flatly. “None of our kind, no matter their situation, wishes to see this world destroyed by those things.”
“My lord,” Macon chimed in. “I mean no disrespect in disagreeing with you, but I as well can’t seem to come up with any other explanation besides betrayal of the most egregious kind.”
“What a surprise that you seem to share the opinion of the tiny Speaker who you’re currently bedding,” Drake said with a wry smile. “Your opinion means nothing because it is not of your own making.”
“And you never have a thought that goes against our lord’s,” Macon growled. “He’d do better with a second who could think for himself.”
“Enough,” Khol bellowed. “There are many other issues to discuss besides things that we don’t have the answers to.”
I angled my gaze suspiciously around at the strange faces in the room, and some of the ones I did know. A shudder raced up my spine to think that maybe someone in this very room could have been responsible for me nearly dying and slipping into a coma. I shifted uneasily and pulled up the hood on Bryn’s sweatshirt feeling a little like a child who thought that hiding under the covers was some kind of protection from the boogey man. Silly but effective, because once cloaked in the shadow of the much too large hood, I heaved a sigh of relief as Bryn’s scent swirled around me in a comforting embrace.
“Fine. Let’s get on with it then,” one of the Silver Dragons said with annoyance.
“As Jenna was saying,” Khol started in while he searched for my eyes that were hiding in the protection of Bryn’s hoodie, “we’ve begun using the animals as our aids in order to track down the Riders. We haven’t figured out how to remove them from their hosts yet, at least not without killing them, but we’ll find the answer eventually.”
I inhaled sharply. “So, you’re just killing them?”
“What choice do we have?” Jeremy said from beside me.
“But they’re in so many people. Do you all even comprehend how many of those things came through the Gates?” I swung my head around to look at Khol, even though from the expression on his face I could tell he still couldn’t see mine in the hoodie. He frowned at me though, probably picking up on my tumultuous emotions. “We can’t just kill all of those people.” My stomach clenched at the thought and I doubled over to dry heave, luckily there was nothing left for me to throw up. Suddenly I was surrounded by Khol, Jeremy, and Jenna, all of them vying for my attention so they could help make me feel better. Yeah, that was going to work.
“P.J., you need to take care of yourself, girl. This all can wait,” Jenna said as she pushed back my hoodie and gathered up my hair like any dutiful friend would.
“I’ll help you back to your room,” Jeremy said at the same time as Jenna.
And Khol’s deep voice interwove amongst the chatter my friends were throwing my way. “I’ll take her to her room and make sure she gets what she needs . . . food, water, and maybe more healing.”
