Broken Gates

would happen eventually, but the feelings of a panic attack began in my chest and starting worming its way through my nervous system. “I can’t be a mom,” I choked out as I gasped for air. Why was it suddenly so hot in here? And why did it feel like I had an elephant sitting on my chest? I reached out and dug my nails into Khol’s arm. “I can’t—” But I couldn’t finish the sentence, my lungs wouldn’t let me.

He laid me back down on his bed and pushed my now sweaty hair out of my face as I continued to struggle for oxygen. “Shhh . . . my little Seer. I will take care of you.” He dipped his head down to brush his lips against mine and it was as if they contained the oxygen my body was craving. I took in a shaky deep breath as my eyes fluttered shut. “That’s right,” I heard Khol murmur in a cajoling tone. “Rest. You need to rest.”

“But what about our plans to find the dragon Queen. What about . . .?”

Khol’s lips brushed against my forehead this time, and his sweet caress made me feel all warm and safe inside, quieting my worries. “You rest now, and afterwards we can go to our Queen.” We—he wasn’t planning on going with me before, but I guess he’d changed his mind, or me being knocked up had changed his mind for him. “No matter what, I’ll be by your side; you won’t go through this alone.” It was the last thing I heard before I fell into a fitful sleep.

I woke up alone in Khol’s bed. I lay there a few minutes trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was actually pregnant. My hand slid down to touch my belly; it was as flat as ever. Did that mean the gestation period was moving slower like a dragon’s because Khol was the father or had the child just been conceived more recently? How long would I have to wait to find out who my baby’s daddy was? Maybe I should go on Maury Povich to find out.

I rolled out of bed and lumbered over to the door, wanting nothing more than a nice hot shower and some breakfast. Pancakes—no waffles—no scrambled eggs and bacon—wait—I don’t even like scrambled eggs and bacon, or maybe I did now. Or maybe the baby did? It certainly seemed to have a predilection for meat. Did that mean it was mostly dragon? I was so caught up in thoughts about breakfast and the baby that I ran head first into Bryn’s chest. “Oh . . .” His delectable scent stole the rest of the words from my mouth. His eyes then flashed an intense dragon blue as they skimmed down to briefly rest upon my stomach before they made their way back up to my face. My head swam at the realization. He knew. He knew that I was pregnant.

“Peej,” he said gruffly. “I was just on my way to see you. Why are you out of bed?” He lifted his hand up to touch me but then stopped short as if he suddenly thought better of it.

I tried to control my voice. “Who told you?” But it came out shaky anyways.

“Khol.”

I slid my eyes shut unable to look at him. “Of course he did.” I never thought to tell Khol not to inform Bryn of my circumstances; I’d been too upset and focused on other things.

“So you really were planning on not telling me?” His voice broke an octave lower than normal and I cringed at the accusation, especially because it was true.

I slowly opened my eyes but I still couldn’t manage to meet his, so I let my gaze settle on the floor in between us. “I didn’t want it to affect your decision about me—about us.”

“Whether you like it or not, it makes a difference if you’re carrying my child,” Bryn ground out.

Sudden tears splashed down my face and my lower lip began to tremble uncontrollably. “I just wanted you to pick me for me—not because I might be pregnant with your child.”

Bryn tilted my chin up toward him with his index finger and the minute my eyes met his, I wanted nothing more than to throw myself into his arms. But I fought the urge and remained where I was. “Peej, I never stopped wanting you, and I never will. All those things I’ve said to you about loving you—I will—always. But that’s not what all of this is about. I just wanna protect you—make sure you’re safe. Khol is your best option for that, but if you are carrying my kid”—he ground his teeth together—“then he’s not raising my kid.”

I slid my gaze away from him again, even though his finger still rested under my chin. “And if it’s not yours?”

Bryn’s hand dropped away from me. “Then it’s obvious. You mate with Khol.”

Had Khol told him about my plan too? “So you’re going to go along with me mating with whoever’s child this is?” I brought my hand up to rub my stomach.

Bryn was silent for a few moments and I could have counted the seconds by my heartbeats, but I had nothing else to say so I waited anxiously for what his response would be. “Yes,” he finally said. “Khol and I have already discussed the arrangements. We’re both going to take care of you until the day we all get our answer and then—”

“And then I’ll mate with one of you.”

Bryn nodded once in affirmation. He swallowed a few times, his Adam’s apple dancing up and down in his throat nervously. “I don’t want this to be weird. I’m sorry about what I did before; you have to know that. You have to know I love you, Peej. Nothing could ever change that.”

“Bryn,” I interrupted and he let me. “I’ve known you almost all of my life. I know you better than I think I even know myself sometimes and yet . . .” My face crumpled up but I continued on. “I never thought you’d walk away from me the way you did. If—if it turns out to be yours . . .” I rubbed my belly again. “How do I know you won’t walk away again at some point because you’re feeling insecure or something?”

He stared at me in shock, his dark blue eyes muting out almost all of the reflected light in them. “You think I would leave you and my kid?” I let him see all the hurt in my eyes that he had placed there, and as his face clouded over . . . that’s when I knew he finally understood what he had truly done to me . . . to us. He’d broken us in some way and taken away the only thing that I’d been sure about since this whole mess started . . . him. “Peej—” he started.

I shook my head. “No, now isn’t the time. I have to get ready to search for—”

“The dragon Queen, yeah, I know. Khol filled me in on that part too. We’re both going with you now.” My mouth dropped open ready to catch any nearby flies. “Like I said, we’re both going to take care of you until we all get our answer.”

“Oh,” was all I could manage. Well, wasn’t this new development a nice little plot twist in the story of my life? Me going on a quest, of sorts, with both of the guys who could be the father of my child. Fabulous . . . absolutely fabulous.

5

It’s one thing to want someone, to desire to be with them, but it’s an entirely different thing to actually need them. I never wanted to need anyone ever again. I had a desire to be a stronger version of myself so I could be ready for whatever my new life could throw at me, and truth be told, I had been deluding myself. I thought I had become tougher, stronger, but in actuality I had just been leaning on Bryn more and more. And when he decided to walk away from me, I broke into a million pieces. I had to learn how to rely on myself, and only myself, if I had any hope of truly becoming the person I strived to be. I needed to grow up and to stop clinging to the insecure habits of a child, because . . . well . . . I was going to have a child, so I couldn’t be one anymore. It was time to get off the carousel from hell that I’d been circling on and to develop myself into an actual functioning adult. If Bryn and Khol thought that I was going to make ‘taking care of me’ a piece of cake, then they had another thing coming, because I would no longer lean on the shoulder of any man for support. What was that saying? Oh yeah . . . I am woman hear me roar! Rowr! I chuckled to myself as I roared like a lioness in my head. Hmmm . . . maybe the pregnancy hormones are making me a little off.

“What’s so amusing?” Khol’s voice cut into my inner musings.

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Nothing that you would appreciate.” Nope, he definitely wouldn’t be appreciating any time soon what had just been tickling my funny bone.

“Why don’t you try me?” Khol said with a glint of amusement in his eyes.

I eyed him suspiciously. Sometimes I swore that he could read my mind and he just wasn’t telling me. But then again, what would he find amusing about what I had just been thinking? Unless he was under the