got a mail from Issette. Keon’s got an off-world agent to try and sell his light sculptures. Utterly zan!’
‘Didn’t getting an agent involve a lot of effort?’
‘I’m sure Issette did most of the work. There’s a mail from Playdon too.’ I giggled. ‘Even the Alien Contact programme can’t get us out of watching his lectures, because he’s going to send us vids of them. I’ll ask for permission to talk to him about what’s going on, because his advice would be a big help. I can’t tell Issette of course, so I’ll have to make up a reason for being back in Earth America time zone or she’ll be calling me in the middle of the night.’
‘I’d better call my parents this evening.’ Fian paused. ‘Can we talk now?’
We’d been happy, sharing jokes together, but now the sick feeling in my stomach returned. Fian had his stubborn look on his face, which meant I wasn’t going to be able to avoid this.
‘I suppose we’d better.’
‘You’d no idea about the Betan clan?’
I shook my head. ‘When I first asked for information about my parents, their place of birth was listed as Military bases. Nobody has said a word about Beta sector or clans until today, and even Drago only mentioned it in passing. I suppose everyone thought I knew. For chaos sake, no one tells you the blindingly obvious. As a child, I had a random surname given me by Hospital Earth, but at my grandmother’s Honour Ceremony I was given her surname. The clan prefix has been right there in my name ever since, but I’m not used to looking for them.’
I gave Fian a wary look. ‘I suppose you’re not very happy about it.’
‘I’m not ecstatic, no, but I can see you’ve got your wildly enthusiastic look.’
‘Well, you must admit it’s kind of zan to have Tellon Blaze for an ancestor. I’ve always had reservations about Beta sector because of the way they split off from the other sectors during the Second Roman Empire, but that ended a hundred and thirty years ago. Beta sector is still a bit … different, and they’re known for making sex vids, but how many Betans are actually involved in that?’
I realized I’d made a tactical error there, even before Fian gave the obvious reply. ‘The only two Betans in our class are.’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Lolia and Lolmack’s clan are, but they admit it’s regarded as a low class trade. My clan is Military, so they won’t make sex vids.’
‘It’s not just the sex vids. It’s the triad marriages, the suggestive clothes, and the lack of a nudity taboo. The way Lolia and Lolmack behaved …’
‘They deliberately behaved badly at the start of the course, but that was because they were trying to scare the rest of us away. They didn’t want us to find out they had a Handicapped baby. They’ve acted perfectly reasonably since we found out about Lolette.’ I shook my head. ‘But none of this matters, Fian. The Tell clan won’t want anything to do with me.’
‘Drago wasn’t exactly rejecting you,’ said Fian.
‘Drago may be happy to accept me, or feel he has to pretend he is while we’re at the same Military base, but the clan is a very different matter. Lolia and Lolmack have to go to incredible lengths to keep their daughter a secret, doing a pre-history course that they hate just to have an excuse for being on Earth, or their clan will disown them to avoid losing status over a Handicapped baby.’
I shrugged. ‘The Tell clan won’t want anything to do with me, and I wouldn’t change even if they did. Some kids go wild when they leave the Hospital Earth residences and get the freedom of being adult; even Issette has been having some nardle moments since she left Next Step, but I haven’t been behaving that way, have I?’
Fian sighed. ‘I’m not expecting you to go wild just because you have Betan ancestry, but the idea of you being Betan is a bit unnerving, and if my parents find out … There’s no problem with them knowing you’re descended from Tellon Blaze, I agree that’s incredibly zan, just don’t talk about Betan clans.’ He frowned. ‘Nobody ever mentions Tellon Blaze being Betan.’
‘Well of course they wouldn’t. People are still suspicious of Beta sector, so no one wants to hear a legendary glittering hero of humanity was Betan.’
Fian nodded. ‘And the ent vids about Thetis chaos year aren’t very accurate.’
I finally risked saying what neither of us had dared to put into words. ‘We keep hiding things your parents wouldn’t like, but they still aren’t too happy about me, are they?’
Fian ran his fingers through the long strands of his blond hair. ‘My father didn’t approve of me having a relationship with you, but he never approves of anything I do. My mother decided it was really romantic and talked him round. Everything seemed to be fine for the first few weeks, but then …’
‘Maybe they didn’t realize all the problems my Handicap would cause, or maybe they just don’t like me.’
Fian wore his stubborn expression again. ‘They’ll have to learn to like you. After all the battles when I chose to go history instead of physics, my parents must know I make my own decisions. Anyway, this isn’t just about us. There’s been some family stuff going on for a very long time. It’s just reached crisis point and …’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t want to talk about my parents now. I want to talk about us. Whenever I try and discuss our future, you change the subject.’
I frowned down at the fancy grid display inlaid into the top of my desk. ‘It’s difficult. I know people in Delta sector have different expectations about things like marriage.’
He pulled his chair across to sit next to me. ‘I know you find it hard to talk about anything emotional, but please try.’
I played with the grid display for a few moments while I tried to work out how to say this. ‘It’s not just differences in customs. It’s about the Handicapped and about families. Hospital Earth are given plenty of guilt money by norm humanity to care for their wards, and they do their best. We get ProParents. We get psychologists inflicted on us.’
I glanced at Fian and saw the creases on his forehead as he concentrated on my words. ‘They carefully keep groups of kids together all through their childhood so we can form our substitute family, but we see real families on the vids and know it’s not the same. Some Handicapped kids react by becoming grabbers, rushing into creating their own family to fill the gap in their lives.’
I sighed. ‘I don’t like saying it, but Maeth and Ross are classic grabbers. They were devoted to each other all through Next Step. At our last Year Day party there, after midnight passed and made us 18 and legally adult, they started their first Twoing contract. Earth law requires three Twoing contracts adding up to at least a year before you can get married. Next Year Day, they’ll get married, and Maeth wants to have three kids by the time she’s 22.’
I shuddered. ‘It’s Maeth’s life, her decision, and I hope she and Ross will be happy, but …’
Fian was silent for a second. ‘You think I’d want something like that? Some people in Delta sector do get married quite young, but I don’t want to rush us into anything, and I see children as something a very long way in the future.’
I relaxed a little and gave a foolish laugh. ‘The worst thing is Maeth’s plans terrify me, but sometimes a bit of me envies her. The thought of having a proper family, people who really belong to you …’
Fian nodded. ‘I understand, but I’m not pushing for anything drastic. I just want to know we’re both serious about our relationship. I get nervous when I see you with someone like Drago. You obviously thought he was pretty impressive.’
‘Drago’s impressive, good-looking, and a heroic fighter pilot, but you don’t need to feel threatened. He’s just looking out for his friend’s kid sister.’
Fian pulled an expressive face of disbelief.
‘Don’t be a nardle. Drago wouldn’t want to tie himself to an ape.’
‘Please don’t call yourself that, Jarra. I know you deliberately use the ape word yourself, so you can pretend it doesn’t hurt when other people say it, but I don’t like it. As for Drago, he’s Betan. He might not want Twoing contracts, just to …’ He stopped, inhibited by his Deltan background from putting it into words. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘If Drago wants a quick tumble, he’s out of luck. He must be ten years older than me, and he isn’t my type. Naturally I’m interested in talking to him, I’ve never met a relative face to face before, and I’d love to see his fighter.’ I frowned. ‘I wonder what really went on at Hera. If Drago was such a dreadful pilot that he flew straight into an asteroid, he’d never be leader of shift 2 now. Maybe …’
‘Twoing rings.’
