Copernick's Rebellion

and communist countries? They’re growing my trees. Why can’t we just move there? If we go to China and they attack us, they’re attacking China, so we have an ally!”

“The Eastern Bloc is growing trees because it solves some of their short-term problems. They haven’t yet realized that when the means of production and distribution are in each man’s own home, he doesn’t need a central government any more. Eventually the commissars are going to realize that they are being put out of work. People who run governments like running governments. We don’t have any allies, Uncle Martin.”

“Yah. The big-shot problem. But still, there’s got to be a better way. So what are our chances of winning this war, anyhow?”

“Quite good, my lord,” the CCU said. “I estimate a point two two probability of success.”

“That’s good?”

“It is, my lord, compared to the probability that civilization will cease to exist within the next century if we do not fight this war.”

“You figured out how many people are going to die in this thing?”

The CCU said, “Best estimates are around two hundred million—two percent of the world’s population, my lord—assuming that we make preserving human life a major strategic objective.”

“So many! You say that so easy, sitting here,” Guibedo said.

“My lord, I am sentient. I do not want to die. But I am immobile, in the center of our opponent’s major target area. In none of the scenarios that we have examined do I have any chance of survival. The probability that I will be dead within two years is one.”

“Sorry, fella,” Guibedo said. “Don’t tell me what my own chances are.”

“My lord, throughout history, every major social, political, or religious upheaval has caused the death of from three to five percent of the population involved. The industrial revolution cost four point two percent of England’s population through starvation and disease. The Russian Revolution cost three point seven percent; the French Revolution, three point six percent; the American Revolution, one point one percent plus an equivalent two point three percent foreign troops. Even the ‘peace—fill’ division of India and Pakistan starved out or killed three point five percent of the population.

“The two percent estimate I gave you for the upcoming revolution was based on the assumption of the loss of one billion LDUs and similar beings. This time, perhaps we can do some of the dying for you.”

Heinrich Copernick and Martin Guibedo were silent for a long while.

Patricia and Mona walked through a series of meadows that dotted the sides of a clear brook, passing over a dozen small bridges. As they did so, the path wound and twisted past and over trout ponds, grottoes, and fountains; it was the antithesis of a superhighway, designed not to be efficient but to make each step of a journey pleasant and interesting.

The path eventually opened onto a long curving meadow. On both sides were tree houses fronted with shops. The owners evidently lived behind their shops, for the stores were small and the houses were large.

“We call this Craftsman Way,” Mona explained. “It wasn’t really planned this way, but most people have tended to move near others with similar interests.”

“Hey, Mona! You need anything today?” Jimmy shouted from the open-air metal shop in front of his tree- house. He was wearing a leopard-skin loincloth.

“I don’t, but Patty probably does!”

“I do?”

“Sure. Uncle Martin’s tableware is a disgrace, and Jimmy is the best silversmith in the valley.” Mona herded Patty over to the display case.

Patty walked from display to display closely examining the collection of jewelry, silverware, and serving pieces. Everything was individually crafted, with a rare combination of art and utility. “I haven’t seen anything this good since I left Pratt!”

“Your friend’s taste is impeccable, Mona.” Jimmy winked and bowed grandly to Patty. “James Sauton, Silversmith, at your service.”

“This is Patty Cambridge, Jimmy,” Mona said. “She’s looking for some things to go in Oakwood.”

“Oakwood? The professor’s house?” Jimmy said. “Hey, Patty, you don’t want none of this junk. Let me make you something special. You known the professor long?”

“About four years,” Patty said, holding a spoon in her hand. “These are lovely, and I think we’ve only service for four.”

“I’ll make you a service for twenty,” Jimmy said, “but not these. Can you come by day after tomorrow? I’ll have some samples to show you. I’ve wanted to do something for the professor for a long time.”

“How long have you known Martin?” Patty reluctantly let go of the spoon as Jimmy took it from her hand.

“A couple of years, but he did me a real good turn once, so when I heard he was in Death Valley, I gave my tree house to a couple of kids and hopped a freight out here.”

“You heard he was here?” Patty was surprised, remembering the difficulty she had finding Guibedo. “How?”

“The grapevine. Come back day after tomorrow, I’ll have something to knock your eyes out.” Jimmy turned and left.

As they strolled on, Patty said, “My goodness! I shouldn’t have done that. I mean, I don’t have any money with me.”

“Most people don’t carry money around here, Patty. You just tell the telephone about your purchases, and it keeps track of that sort of thing.”

“I mean I don’t have much at home, either.”

“Jimmy’s pretty reasonable, ordinarily. But in this case, I don’t think you could get him to accept money. He idolizes Uncle Martin so much, it gets embarrassing. I think Uncle Martin avoids him. But don’t worry about money. The telephone will just bill Uncle Martin, and Heinrich always covers his account, so the old dear won’t even know about it.”

“But I can’t do that!” Patty said.

“Do it. Didn’t you know that they own a gold mine?”

“My lords! Intruder alert in Sector Fifty-five!” the CCU said.

“Dirk! Tell your brothers to nail him! Unharmed!” Heinrich said. “How did he get past the Gamma Screens?”

“The surrounding sector guards are converging, my lord,” Dirk said. “Gamma LDU 1096 reports that the intruder was under heavy narcohypnosis. His primary programming is only now surfacing.”

“Well, get several Gammas on him. I want a complete probe,” Heinrich said. “Go transponder mode.”

“Yes, my lord.” Dirk’s voice became a monotone, relaying transmissions from the LDUs in the area.

“Sector Fourty-four. Wirka here. Converging.”

“Sector Fifty-four. Pacho here. Converging.”

“Sector Sixty-four. Kinzhal here. Converging.”

“Sector Fifty-five. Vintovka here. Converging. I can see the intruder with my bird. He is armed.”

Vintovka was a Beta series LDU in empathic contact with an observation eagle. This empathic contact was quite distinct from telepathy. It amounted to a wide-band communication circuit, but it was limited to only two nodes. That eagle and the LDU had hatched from the same egg; they were really two parts of the same being.

“ETA for nine LDU’s is eighty-five seconds,” Dirk said. “Gamma Units report that intruder is KGB. Weapons include AK-84 Assault rifle and fragmentation grenades. Intruder’s IQ is 126, Need Affiliation four percent, Need Achievement seventy-eight percent, Need Power ninety-nine percent. High sex drive converted to sadism.”

“Uck! He’s worse than the Air Force Intelligence type we stopped last week,” Copernick muttered. “Dirk! My earlier command to capture the intruder unharmed is rescinded—he’s a butcher. Stop him!”

“Acknowledged, my lord. Thank you,” Dirk said. “Perhaps ‘hunter’ would be a better term. He is after Lord