Tilt-a-Whirl

“Ashley?”

“You did!”

“Dear. Please.”

“Sorry.”

“Are you finished?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“I can tell my story?”

“I'm sorry.”

Betty beams at us.

“Suffice it to say-I missed my cue … ever so slightly….”

And dropped your ciggy-boo butt on the beach.

“But I got there, didn't I, sweetheart?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“It was my job to take the gun. If Ashley had a pistol tucked in her panties, why even you might have figured something was awry. Where are my cigarettes now, honey?”

“In the other room?”

“Be a sweetie. Fetch them for Mommy.”

Ashley stands up. Ceepak motions for her to sit back down.

“Later.”

“I'd really like a cigarette….”

“Just finish walking us through it.”

“Fine.” She sighs. Smiles. She can flip a scowl into “say cheese” faster than anybody I've ever met.

“Ashley climbed over the chain-link fence at the entrance- something we practiced at the playground-ran up Ocean Avenue, and put on the performance of her life!”

“I'm a very good actress, aren't I?”

Ceepak nods. “One of the best I've ever seen.”

“And this was way harder than Our Town! I had like so much stuff to memorize….”

“Ashley? Why don't you give them a brief encore?”

Ashley stands up, takes a deep breath.

“My fa … fa … fa … ther! He killed my father! The crazy man. The crazy man!”

“She's good, isn't she? All right, dear. Sit back down. Thank you. You, of course, can see why she won the drama competition at her school two years running!”

“You know what my favorite part was?” Ashley says, looking right at me. “The free fudge at Pudgy's!”

Mom shoots her a look.

“Fudge? No wonder you're so fat. Have you seen how big her bottom has become? Anyway, where were we? Oh, yes-Bob picked Ashley up in his chief's car and reminded her what Squeegee looked like. Showed her some photographs we had taken of the man….”

“Later, I forgot about the beard,” Ashley says. “About what kind it was. Uncle Bob helped me!”

“So did I. When I brought you down to the beach house….”

Ceepak's had enough of the Betty Bell show. He wants to change the channel.

“Tell me about the kidnapping, Ashley.”

“Can I, Mommy?”

“Yes, dear.”

I can tell Betty hates sharing the spotlight. But ever the good Weather Gal, she realizes it's time to toss things over to the Sports Guy.

“Okay. Let's see. I climbed out of my window and all to make it look like, you know, I really was sneaking out to see Ben. I had to be real quiet. Uncle Bob was on the beach with his boat … but he was wearing these hiking boots with his swimsuit and that made him look so silly. I called Ben on my cell from the rowboat….”

“What happened after the boat ride?” Ceepak asks.

“Uncle Bob took me to the train depot and I stayed in my room like Mommy told me to do.”

“The baggage room?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You stayed there all Saturday night and Sunday?”

“Yes, sir. It was kind of scary and I couldn't leave or make any noise or I'd ruin everything. I peed in my pants.”

“Ashley? Really. Do we need to know that?”

“Sorry, Mommy.”

“Must've been hard,” Ceepak says. “Up there all alone.”

“It was.”

“We all made sacrifices,” says her mother the martyr.

“Can I have my bracelets back?” Ashley asks shyly.

“The ones we found?”

“Yes. Uncle Bob made me drop them so you would find clues and stuff. Can I have those back? My daddy bought them for me….”

“She doesn't want them,” Betty says. “Throw them away. Burn them.”

“Mommy?”

“We'll buy new bracelets. We're very rich now, remember?”

Ashley drops her head again.

“By the way….” Betty lowers her voice. “Did Chief Cosgrove offer you three people any of our money? I don't really think you've done enough to warrant payment; however, if Bob made certain promises….”

“What'd you do while you waited in the baggage room?” Ceepak asks Ashley.

“Nothing,” Ashley mumbles.

“She ate candy bars and drank soda pop!” Her mother sounds very disappointed in her.

I hear the apartment door open.

I look down the hall and see Morgan and a couple of his guys.

Betty is watching me. “Who's that?”

“I think it's the cavalry.”

She ignores me and goes to the door.

“Oh, god. Did they follow you here? Hush, Ashley!” Betty hisses. “Not another word.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

Ceepak calls out to Morgan.

“Hey!”

“Hey,” the FBI agent answers. “We'll wait out here, in the foyer.”

“Thanks.”

“Officer Ceepak?” Betty is puzzled.

“Yes?”

“Do they know about you and Squeegee?”

“Yes, ma'am. They know I didn't shoot him.”

“What?”

“I did not shoot Squeegee. By the way-his real name? It's Jerry Shapiro.”

“You didn't shoot him?”

“No, ma'am. You see, I gave my word that I would not.”

“So …?”

“We're not in this together.”

All of a sudden, there's this squeal of feedback.

“Sorry about that,” Morgan calls from the foyer, adjusting the volume on the walkie-talkie clipped to his