beautiful shade of blue and not the deep, empty black that so many others possessed. Thankful that his face, strong and chiseled, was capable of his feeling the sun’s light anywhere in the world without fearing that his flesh would burn beyond repair. Yes, he was lucky, lucky that he wasn’t one of Them. But would that matter to Michael? Would he understand the difference or would he just think he was a monster?
Part of him was convinced that Michael would accept him for who he was and want to spend the rest of eternity with him, but the other part, the one that housed his insecurities, wasn’t fully certain. And yet just the thought of Michael, just the idea that the two of them could become a couple, could grow close and inseparable, made Ronan smile. A lazy and effortless smile formed on his face. The more he thought about Michael, the more the smile grew, and here in his bedroom, alone, unworried that anyone would see him, he allowed the full truth of who he was to be revealed in the mirror.
His skin became almost translucent, like the surface of a blue-clear lake, and his eyes widened just slightly and emitted a shine, a crisp beacon of light that could illuminate darkness. Then two of his upper teeth, the canines, on opposite sides of his mouth, started to grow in length and slowly descend, transforming into razor- sharp fangs until they curved over his bottom lip and pressed into the skin underneath. These fangs, so primitive, so like an animal’s, somehow made Ronan look even more human because his true self was no longer hidden, but exposed. His breathing deepened, his fangs pressed down even harder onto his lip but never cut the now bright red flesh, and Ronan had to grab on to his dresser to steady himself. He stared at his reflection and was both proud and ashamed. This beautiful thing was him.
But what would Michael feel if Ronan ever found the courage to display his true likeness in front of him? Would he be proud to become his boyfriend? Or would he be ashamed? Ashamed to even know his type existed. Ronan overwhelmed by doubt, his fangs retracted and disappeared. His skin, his eyes, returned to their more common form. To look at him now, he seemed like any other sixteen-year-old boy, normal, human. But that was so far from the truth, and now riddled with uncertainty, Ronan had to turn away. He couldn’t bear to look at himself any longer. It was time anyway to move on, to see if his intuition was correct. It was time to find Michael and make sure he was safe.
Nakano had a good feeling. Ronan and Michael were never going to be a couple, thanks to him. He hadn’t planned on it, he hadn’t planned on Michael seeing him alone with Ronan in the shadows, but sometimes accidents happen. And accidents aren’t always bad things. Michael saw them together and he instinctively understood that they were meant to be, that Nakano was the one whom Ronan was supposed to spend eternity with, not some asinine kid from Nebraska, of all places. No, Michael was an interruption, a tangent, and now Ronan and Nakano were back together where they belonged.
Well, Nakano reminded himself, they were on their way back together. But it was only a matter of time before Ronan came to his senses and realized he could never have a relationship with Michael, a complete outsider, and that he and Nakano should continue where they left off. What was Ronan thinking? Nakano thought. If Nakano had difficulty accepting Ronan for who he was, for who his people were, how in the world could Michael? It was never going to happen and Ronan knew that. He was just mesmerized by this boy, by his blondness, his newness, that was all. It was only a matter of time before everything was once again the way it should be.
Oh, how he wanted to rip his sunglasses off right here in Latin class. How he wanted to show everyone the depths of his power, his incredible strength, but he knew he couldn’t; he knew he had to conceal his truth. That’s all right, he thought, it won’t always be like this. Someday, someday very soon, he and Ronan would be together, like inseparable lovers, traveling to the remotest parts of the globe, and they’d be able to reveal their true selves to the world. What a wonderful day that would be. But what a wonderful day today was too. And Nakano just knew it was going to get even better.
Ciaran had a sinking feeling. He felt his heart plummet the moment he caught Michael staring at Nakano. Sitting in the back of class, he knew in an instant that Michael had found out about Ronan and Nakano’s past. It was evident by Michael’s glare, his scowl. He tried to pretend that he was concentrating on Professor Volman’s lesson, but he hadn’t written a note, not a word, for the past fifteen minutes. All he did was stare at Nakano, and his expression didn’t waver and it wasn’t kind. It was that of one scorned, one absolutely and thoroughly ticked off. How Michael had found out that Nakano was Ronan’s ex-boyfriend, Ciaran didn’t know, but he knew just by looking at him that he had acquired that information and he was not at all pleased by the knowledge. And Ciaran wasn’t pleased by the knowledge that he would try to set things right.
“He knows about you and Nakano,” Ciaran said. The moment Ciaran saw Ronan between classes, he told him. He knew he would eventually tell him. Why act as if he were going to keep this information to himself? Why not just get it out in the open as quickly as possible and spare himself hours, it not days, of anguish contemplating exactly when and precisely how to convey the news to Ronan, when in the end the result was going to be the same. If anything, Ciaran was practical.
Slowly, disbelief crept into Ronan’s face. “Why did you tell him?”
And this is how I’m repaid. “I didn’t say I told him,” Ciaran said, hurt, but unfortunately not surprised by Ronan’s immediate reaction. “You really think I’d do such a thing?”
Disbelief was replaced by guilt. “No. I’m sorry,” Ronan said quietly. “How? Are you sure?”
“I don’t know how he found out, but he definitely knows,” Ciaran replied. “If Michael had a wooden stake, Nakano would be ashes by now.”
What did he just say? “You think this is funny?”
“I think this is a mess, a mess that you created, and a mess that’s going to bring us all down.”
“What are you talking about?”
Ciaran looked at Ronan; he couldn’t believe that someone like him could sometimes be so innocent. “Do you really think that Michael is going to want to become a part of your life when he finds out exactly what you are? Do you think that he’s going to remain quiet like I have?”
Ronan looked at Ciaran; he couldn’t believe that someone like him could sometimes be so resentful. “I think that this really doesn’t concern you, so you shouldn’t bloody worry about it.”
“Well, I do worry. As much as I’m sure you’d like to forget, I am your brother. I may not be treated like it, but I am a part of this family,” Ciaran said, fighting to keep his voice low among the mid-class traffic. “So you can all push me aside, ignore me, and it won’t change a thing. I know everything and I haven’t said a word. I doubt you’ll be able to say the same thing about Michael when he finds out.”
Ciaran turned to run, but Ronan grabbed him by the arm. God, his hands are so strong. “You’re wrong,” Ronan said. “Michael’s different; there’s something about him, there’s a reason he came here and into my life. I can just feel it.”
He didn’t want to, but Ciaran shook his arm free of Ronan’s grasp. “And you’re willing to risk everything on a feeling?”
It was useless to lie to Ciaran, so Ronan told the truth. “Yes.”
It’s not what Ciaran wanted to hear, but it’s what he knew Ronan would say. He knew this was how it was going to play out the second he saw Michael glare at Nakano; this would be the domino effect, this was how things were going to end up, with him walking away by himself yet again, and Ronan running off in pursuit of some absurd romantic notion. Ciaran may have been logical and thought-out, but he didn’t know everything, because Ronan didn’t run off after Michael, he went to find Nakano.
The area behind St. Martha’s was usually secluded. The only activity took place in the early morning when either a truck came to deliver food to the main building or another truck came to take garbage away from the three large Dumpsters made of steel and always sealed shut so none of the animals who lived and roamed on the campus would be attracted to the smell of decaying food. So except for the early morning hours, it was a desolate place. Except for now.
Sitting on the ground with his back against the cold steel, Nakano could smell death inches away. He loved it. He loved taking a deep breath and letting the rottenness fill his body; he loved allowing something to penetrate him that humans found so incredibly repulsive. It gave him power. He was so much better than all of them, and one of these days they were going to understand just how superior he was. Until then he would be satisfied knowing that Ronan thought he was special. And he did. Just look at how he stared at him.
Several feet away, directly across from Nakano, almost hidden by some wild bushes, Ronan stood. And yes, he was staring, but no, he was not happy. “What did you do?” Ronan asked.
“I knew you’d find me here,” Nakano said. “It’s our special place.”
