didn’t want to upset Jean-Paul, he didn’t want to destroy the best relationship that he had ever had. That’s right, Ronan, what you and I had was nothing compared to this, this is the best! It didn’t matter about David, none of that mattered, nothing mattered as long as Jean-Paul kept looking at him, looking in his direction. And reaching out his hand to him.
“Eet eez time for us to go,” Jean-Paul said.
Nakano put his hand into Jean-Paul’s, and his instinct was to pull back, let go. He felt no warmth, no comfort, only a hand, but he stomped on his intuition and held on to Jean-Paul anyway. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ronan and Michael standing so close to each other they were practically one person, and his crushed heart felt another sting. Ignore it, Nakano told himself, ignore the questions, ignore the doubts, and squeeze Jean-Paul’s hand harder. All that matters is the connection, all that matters is that I’m not alone.
And physically he wasn’t. But when they started to leave, Jean-Paul turned back to get one last glimpse of Michael, one last look at the boy’s innocent face. Michael wasn’t looking back at him, but he also wasn’t looking at Ronan. Jean-Paul smiled as he pulled Nakano closer to him and they sped off, practically flying over the dunes. The lingering thought as he departed was that maybe Michael’s connection to his supposed soul mate wasn’t as strong as it appeared to be either.
Playing the role of the strong, silent type was not in Saoirse’s nature. She had remained silent for as long as she could, longer than she thought possible, but she had finally had enough. Being kidnapped by Amir, not knowing if she was going to be killed or turned into something vile like those other types of vampires, learning firsthand how incredible Phaedra’s powers were, it had all been too much. Saoirse didn’t like to take life seriously; she preferred to ignore ugly truths and remain blissfully ignorant, but she suddenly realized there were moments when you had to grow up, act like an adult, and take responsibility for your own actions. At least her version of taking responsibility. “This is all your fault!”
Ronan stared at his sister in disbelief. “My fault!? How the bloody hell did you come to that conclusion?”
Saoirse didn’t have to explain herself. Michael did it for her. “You should’ve told me, Ronan. You should’ve told me about your sister.”
So that was it, that’s the look that’s been in his eyes, the look Ronan couldn’t decipher. It was anger. “No one fully understands,” Ronan explained. “I just . . . I didn’t think it was important, I was trying . . .”
“Yeah, I know,” Michael interrupted. “You were trying to protect me.”
“Yes! That’s exactly what I was trying to do!” Ronan screamed, louder than he had intended. He was tired of being judged for trying to shield the people he loved from danger. After seeing MacCleery’s dead, mutilated body and now Amir, destroyed beyond recognition, his soul God knows where, he knew he was right, and he was not going to apologize. “If you had listened to me, maybe none of this would’ve happened! If you had just accepted the fact that this whole carnival was a bleedin’ farce, you would’ve been on your guard, Michael, and you, Saoirse, wouldn’t have allowed yourself to get kidnapped!”
Rolling her eyes, Saoirse waved a hand in her brother’s face. “I didn’t allow that twit to kidnap me.”
“That twit is dead, Saorise!” Ronan shouted, grabbing his sister by the shoulders. “And so is Dr. MacLeery!”
“What?!” Michael cried. “How?!”
“Because they killed him!”
“Oh my God, no!” Michael cried.
Ronan answered Michael before turning back to his sister. “This isn’t a game! This is why I didn’t want you to come here in the first place!” A mixture of fear and anger flooded Ronan’s body and he started to shake, Saoirse along with him. “They want to find The Well and destroy it, destroy us, and you being what you are makes you an easy target, don’t you understand that?!”
Ronan didn’t stop shaking his sister because her face had turned white or because he realized he might be hurting her, he stopped because he felt Michael’s hand on his shoulder. His touch was soft, but undeniable, they were still connected, they were still linked. It was exactly the confirmation he needed to allow the anger to escape his body.
He looked at his sister and hugged her gently. He didn’t understand what he was feeling, he was scared and proud and relieved all at the same time. Maybe it’s because whatever he did helped keep her safe. By his following The Well’s orders, she was unharmed at least for today. He knew there would be another attempt on her life, he knew that she didn’t fully grasp what was happening around her, but that didn’t matter right now. Right now all that mattered was getting her home safely. “Where’s Phaedra?” he asked.
“I’m right here.”
The voice materialized before the body did. When they turned around, they saw Phaedra walking down the coastline lazily as if she were daydreaming, letting the waves trip over her bare feet, her curls floating in the breeze. She looked like she was enjoying the return of the sun, soaking in the moment, instead of having just saved two people from uncertain danger, having just done an efemera’s job.
When she got closer, Michael was the first to notice that her features were once again hazy, soft, not as defined as they had become, not as permanent. She had made a choice with this last transformation, a choice because of him, a choice that he knew might cost her a chance at experiencing love.
“I’m sorry,” Michael said.
“Don’t be,” Phaedra replied, a tender smile on her lips. “I’m just like you. I am what I was born to be.”
Understanding didn’t make it any easier, and Michael still felt guilty. He wished there was a way that Phaedra could remain an efemera and fall in love with Fritz, to have the best of both worlds, but he knew that was impossible. The universe held lots of mystery, yet very little compromise. “If it’s any consolation, I’m grateful,” Michael said. “I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up today.”
Phaedra was feeling the same way. “I’m grateful to you too.”
“Me?” Michael asked. “Why?”
Taking hold of his hands, her touch light as a feather, Phaedra replied, “If I hadn’t shown up here, I would never have known real love.” Her cheeks started to shimmer with the most beautiful, translucent tears, almost like silver rain. “If Fritz ever asks, if he ever wonders,” she said, “please tell him that I did love him, I loved him with a full almost-human heart.”
Saoirse’s jaw dropped. Could this day possibly get any worse? “You’re leaving?”
Although she smiled at the young girl with deep affection, there was a hint of envy in her eyes. Saoirse very shortly would get to experience all the emotions Phaedra never would, all the joy, the love, and even the heartache. “Yes, I’m being called back home.”
Michael felt his own tears threaten to fall. This couldn’t be happening, this shouldn’t be happening, not after everything they’d been through, not after everything Phaedra had given to him. “You can’t leave!” Michael protested. “Please, I still need you, we all do.”
She touched his cheek and it felt like breath. “No, you don’t,” Phaedra replied. “You have each other and you have your own strength, that’s all you need.” When Phaedra wrapped her arms around Michael, he knew he was being enveloped by more than just his friend’s touch; he felt his mother’s love. “I’ve fulfilled your mother’s wishes and now I must go. I must return to the Holding Place and wait until I hear someone else’s prayers.”
Once again, understanding didn’t make it any easier. In fact it made it even harder, and Michael didn’t want to let go of his friend. Phaedra’s place in his life, on this earth, was temporary. He only hoped she understood how grateful he was that their paths, however briefly, intertwined. “Thank you” was all Michael could say through his tears. The only reason he was able to let go of Phaedra’s embrace was because now he felt Ronan’s hand on his shoulder.
Looking at Ronan, Phaedra knew she was leaving Michael in good hands. They would always squabble, they wouldn’t always agree, and it might take them some time to completely understand how important their coupling was, how important it was that The First and The Other be united for all eternity, but she knew their love was strong enough to overcome any obstacle and accept their destiny. Just as she had come to accept hers.
“There’s only one thing left for me to do before I go,” Phaedra announced. “And that’s make sure you, little lady, get home safely.”
Before Ronan let go of Saoirse’s hand, he instructed, “Leave her with Ciaran. She’ll be safe with him.”
Phaedra nodded. “Yes, she will.”
Another ending, another person leaving his life for good. Michael wasn’t sure he could take it. He wasn’t sure he could watch her leave without trying one last time to make her stay, but the choice wasn’t his. Phaedra
