“So, Ellie,” Gus said, sitting back in his chair with controlled movement. In the end, his gunshot wound was healing nicely. For whatever reason, Javier hadn’t mistreated Gus. After he’d been shot by Raul and after Camden came running for me, Javier took Gus immediately to a doctor who removed the bullet and stitched him up. Then Gus was knocked up full of roofies (Javier’s drug of choice, it seemed) and the next thing he remembered was waking up in the stash house where he was guarded by three formidable men and two idiots (according to him). He wasn’t allowed to leave the bedroom upstairs and was tethered to the first half of the room by a chain around his leg, thus not allowing him to reach the windows. He was permitted bathroom breaks though, he could watch TV and he ate whatever food the rest of his captors ate. He was more comfortable than I thought he would have been, certainly more than my mother was. If that was the way Javier treated the people he captured, he had shown he wasn’t as much of an animal as Travis was.
Of course, he’d shown he was an animal in so many other ways.
“So, Gus,” I said, pulling my shades on to my head so I could look him in the eye, even though the sun was setting, causing the ocean to refract in beams of light.
He gave me a smile that could only be described as shy. And Gus was not a shy man. Suddenly I realized why Camden had excused himself with a knowing look on his face. Gus and I had not discussed what I learned yet. But I had a feeling it was about to come up.
It made me feel as awkward as a child. I rubbed my hands on my linen pants and smiled back.
He rubbed at his beard and said, “I think you and I have something to … talk about.”
I nodded, waiting.
“I know what your mother told you back at … back where you saw her.”
Oh god. Don’t tell me he wasn’t my father.
“She said that I’m your dad,” he went on. He picked up a chip from the tortilla basket and started spinning it around on the tablecloth. “That we had an affair before you were born.” He looked up at me, his eyes sad.
Oh please no. Please don’t take this away from me.
“I loved your mother very much, Ellie,” Gus said. “I loved your father too. I never really understood how I could do that to my friend, but I did. And your mother stayed on my mind ever since. I was still allowed to see you from time to time. You remember me around. But I could never be your father. I hope I can be now.”
I exhaled, smiling so wide that my face hurt. “You really are my father.”
“There was even a paternity test. Your father knew of course. He was a good man, Ellie, he really was. And I regret what I did but I don’t regret the consequences.”
“You sound a lot like Camden, there.”
“Camden is a good man too. That boy, he’s so in love with you that he can’t even see straight. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard he fought to get you back. He never gave up, even when he was knocked down. You were the most important thing in the world to him, you still are. I hope you can give your heart to him, I know how hard that is for you, to trust, to let go.”
I gave him a reassuring smile, his words about Camden inflating me with joy. “He has my heart. He knows it. At least I hope he does. I’ll keep giving it anyway. I love him.”
He gave me a quick grin and stuffed a chip in his face, talking with his mouth full. “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. The boy drove me nuts for most of the trip to be honest. He just wouldn’t shut up about you. But he has moxie and I like that. You’re both perfect for each other. And if he ever wants to become my son-in-law,” he trailed off and looked over my shoulder. “Perhaps I should shut my big mouth now.” And in went another chip.
I turned in my seat to see Camden coming toward me. My god he was absolutely beautiful, knee-length cargo shorts, a wifebeater that showed off his muscles and colorful art, from wrist to collarbone. He still had a bandage over his gunshot wound on the shoulder and his face was marred by a few healing gashes but that only made him look more manly. That man would kill for me. He would die for me. And he would fuck me to death if I asked him.
I was tempted. What a way to go.
He stopped above us and smiled, dimples and white teeth illuminating his face in the setting sun. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
I shook my head, eager for him to join us, especially after I knew that Gus approved of him. I mean, how couldn’t he? This was a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life trying to make happy, trying to give him the life he deserved for the kind of good person he was.
Which is why I had to bring up a more serious topic, one we hadn’t discussed yet.
“So, what’s the plan after this,” I broached slowly as Camden sat back down beside me. “How do we get back Ben?”
Camden straightened up at the mention of his son’s name, his fingers gripping the end of the arm rests. He bit his lip, brows drawn together, and cast a furtive glance at Gus. Then he said, “I don’t know yet.”
Gus tilted his head sympathetically. “You’re still a wanted criminal in the USA. Maybe not as wanted as you were before. It’s probably all blown over. But if you’re ever caught by the police for something, you’ll be in big shit. If you’re ever recognized by anyone, you’re in big shit. If Sophia ever sees you again …”
“I’m in big shit,” Camden filled in.
“Or you’re dead.” Gus rested his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together. “So we have to do what we can to avoid that. You know this will be the hardest part, even harder than getting Ellie back. Sophia won’t give you Ben. You’ll never be able to get custody. You’ll never be able to see him. You’ll never get visitation rights. It’s either you take him from her or leave him with her. There is no in between here.”
“No grey,” I whispered, a sinking feeling in my chest.
“That’s right,” Gus said. “No grey. These aren’t the choices you’ll want to make but you’ll have to make them. Can you go on your way and let Sophia have him?”
“No!” Camden cried out, attracting a few looks from the patrons around us. He quickly shot them a sheepish look and then lowered his voice, shaking his head. “No. I can’t. She wasn’t a very good mother before. That’s when all our problems started. When she was on drugs and never at home. Now I know she’s involved with her brothers. She’s part of that gang. Fuck, she used Ben, her son, our son, to lure me in, to get money, to hand me over to her brothers. They were going to kill me, in front of him if they could. It’s made me sick every time I think about where he is right now, and what he’s doing. I can’t let him grow up in that life. I won’t let that happen.”
“Then you’ve made your choice,” Gus told him solemnly. “If you can’t let him stay with her, if you can’t say goodbye to him, then you must take him. And we will help you. You can’t do this on your own.”
Camden put his head in his hands, his knee bouncing up and down.
“Baby,” I said softly, and put my hand on his jumping knee. “You’re not doing this alone. Even if it seems impossible, even if it doesn’t feel like a choice you want to make, you have to do this if you want him back. Ben deserves to be with you, Camden. Someone with a big heart, a father who will do anything for his child. That’s what you are. You have that in you to give and Ben is a lucky boy that you’re his dad. You’re giving him the future he needs.”
Camden turned his head to the side, glancing at me with damp eyes. “And you’re the future I need.”
I leaned over and kissed him, sweetly, slowly, then blushed once Gus cleared his throat, reminding us he was there.
I pulled back, smiling to myself and had a good long sip of the margarita, gazing out at the ocean. I wondered if Camden still wanted to go to Gualala, that beach town he dreamed of, his personal paradise. I wondered if I was his future, if that’s where we could build a home, build a life. Me, him and Ben. Gus too. And maybe, just maybe, a child of our own.
I was getting ahead of myself – wasn’t I? – and Camden sighed, bringing my focus back to the problem at hand. If Ben was in our future, how did we get him?
“It’s just that kidnapping a child,” Camden murmured, voice barely audible, “I can’t imagine how I’d live with that.”
“You’re doing it for the right reasons,” I said. “That’s how.”
His knee started bouncing again. “But how do we pull it off without hurting Ben?”
That was the problem. I licked the salt off my lips and sat back in my chair, thinking. “Ben knows you’re his
