crawl. Separating the way I used to feel about him and my feelings for him now were going to be harder than anything I’d ever done. Colin was a con. A great big con artist. And I blamed myself for all of this more than anything because I bought everything he sold.
At the time, he had me genuinely believing he cared about me. Still confused, I debated on whether he was acting or not. He had to be, but there was so many times, where he displayed a chivalrous side. Like when he made his promise to me. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. I will always protect you.” Or when he touched me tenderly, gazing deep into my eyes.
It always felt like he was looking past me, staring directly into my soul. If he didn’t care about me, I was convinced that he was one of the best actors I’d ever seen. Even better than the ones that were in movies. Perhaps. Colin could give Brad Pitt a run for his money.
Honestly. I’d always prided myself in being completely and totally honest with people. A person who could look someone directly in the eye and lie to their face didn’t have guts or a conscience. I had both. It was different when people who loved you did it. Yes, it was still wrong but, eventually when you found out, you knew they were only doing it because they truly cared about you.
My mother lied to me all the time but I knew she only did because she loved me so much. Like when I was ten and we had a heated debate on Santa Clause. She insisted that he was real, telling me that if I didn’t leave the milk and cookies out, that he wouldn’t come. I knew he wasn’t real. But Christmas isn’t the same without Santa. And even though she was lying to my face, I knew she wasn’t doing maliciously.
What Mr. Baker, Mr. Martin, and Mr. Edwards were doing was malicious. They weren’t just lying to me, they were lying and betraying an entire colony of people. The same people who took them in when they had nowhere else to go. None of us cared if that meant we had more mouths to feed. We were saving lives and that was all that mattered.
Sulking back to my room, I couldn’t hold back my deeply-rooted feeling of sorrow anymore. My eyes watered up, tears brimming over the edges. I was so overwhelmed with emotion, I had to stop in the middle of the hall and hold myself to keep it all together.
One tear after another, rained down my cheeks. Closing my eyes, I squeezed them together tightly, hoping to dry up my tears ducts. I let out a long sigh, and clenched my jaw as my temples started pounding and a sharp pain rippled through the stitched up gash above my forehead.“Get a hold of yourself,” I said, barely above a whisper.
It was time that I stopped crying and showed everyone who they were dealing with. I’d been through hell and back in the last three days and came out just fine. Part of my memory was gone and I was physically broken, but I wasn’t going to let that keep me down.
I refused to just sit back and let myself become another one of their victims. Like Mr. Baker said, “The Carver girl is too smart for her own good.” He was right about that.
Tomorrow, I would pretend like everything was perfect. I’d put on the best act of my entire life. I’d keep an eye on Mr. Baker at all times. I’d sneak in and out of the shadows, like a creature of the night. Then, when Mr. Baker and his family were out and about, I’d march right into his room, snatch the lottery box, and put his daughter’s name inside of it.
Chapter 16: Resurrected
Woe to her that is filthy and polluted, to the oppressing city!
The chatter in the mess hall died down to silence as I entered. My eyes wandered around the room, stopping at my old table. Grace beamed at me, motioning for me to join her. I smiled back and made my way over to her. Colin wasn’t here yet, if he was going to show up at all. Someone probably informed him that I was coming out of hiding today. News around here spread faster than an avalanche on a snow capped mountain.
“So glad to have you back!” Grace gushed as I plopped down on my bench.
I laughed. “Grace, you’ve seen me every day this week.”
She grabbed my arm and placed her head against my shoulder. “Well, I still missed you at mealtimes.”
Turning away, I had a hard time looking at Grace. I felt like I was betraying her just by keeping what I knew about her sister a secret. But my plan wouldn’t work if I spilled everything now.
Last night, after I pieced myself back together, I lied awake in bed, plotting. I knew every aspect of Mr. Baker’s schedule and my plan wouldn’t have worked if I didn’t. Usually, I hated that we lived in such close proximity with all the colonists, but now it appeared that the closeness would work out to my advantage.
In the morning, Mr. Baker joined everyone in the mess hall for breakfast. Then, after breakfast, he went into the kitchen to count the food inventory. He counted every item himself, to ensure that nothing was stolen. That took him about three hours. With this many people, and everyone contributing something, that was a lot of food to count. When the inventory was completed, he’d go back to his room and, at 11:30 he’d join everyone else in the mess hall for lunch.
Afternoons consisted of council meetings, making his rounds, family time, and then dinner. My best shot at sneaking into his room would be during that council meeting .His wife would be in the kitchen prepping, for dinner because she organized all the meals and his kids would be having recreational time.
All the kids under eighteen had recreation time on Tuesdays and Thursdays after lunch. I liked to spend my time reading or playing checkers with Grace. Sometimes, Frankie would talk me into playing some kind of board game with her. Candyland was her favorite. But I’d beaten her so many times, now it was boring.
I was staring off, in a daze, consumed with my plan that I barely noticed Mr. Baker and his daughter Elise, standing before me. “It’s nice to see you, back and well, Miss Carver,” he squawked.
Taking a deep my breath, I lifted my head. I kept calm, a bright smile forming on my face. “Thank you, Mr. Baker.” I pushed a strand of my fiery red hair away from my face. “I’m so thankful to be back amongst the living.” I emphasized on the word living.
He nodded. “As you should be.” He turned to Elise. “Let’s go, dear.” He turned back to me. “Enjoy your breakfast, Miss Carver.”
“I will, thank you.” My eyes followed him over to his table as he and Elise took their seats.
Elise Baker was the same age as me. We weren’t friends. We were acquainted with each other, like everyone else was down here but, she had this arrogant, superior attitude, just like her father. I kept my eyes on her, as she ran her fingers through her honey brown hair. I wondered if she knew what her father had planned for me. No…..
Elise was snobby, always walking around with her nose in the air, or not speaking to anybody that she didn’t speak to first, but I didn’t think she was evil.
The table shook when Colin sat down across from me. “Hey there, Georgie,” he said kindly. “Welcome back.”
“Thanks, Colin,” I answered with a hint of flirtation in my voice. “I missed you,” I lied. “Why didn’t you come visit me again?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Grace smirking at me, and then she winked. I winked back at her. Soon Grace, soon, I thought. Soon you won’t want to wink at me when you think about Colin Martin. You’ll want to rip out his jugular.
Colin fumbled with his words. “Um… Yeah… Uh. I just thought you needed your rest. I didn’t want to intrude.”
“Intrude?” I raised an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t be intruding.” I reached up and fanned my fingers across his baby soft cheek.
He observed me, still tense. Then he slumped his shoulders relaxing. “I’m sorry, I should have been there,” he admitted.
“I forgive you.” My smile was stretched wide, and I could feel the dimples rising up in my cheeks.
He smiled back. “I’m glad.”
