to buckle.
I needn’t worry.
Zack is there to catch me, more than catch me. He lifts me up.
My arms and legs wrap around him. The cool tile presses into my back as I slide down, letting him fill me to the hilt. He eases out, and then back in, deeper this time. My stomach is a mass of coils, tight, ready to explode.
“I’m all yours,” he whispers into my ear.
My heart wrenches.
It’s too much.
It’s not enough.
“Give it all to me, then.” I reach back and grab a fistful of his hair. “Don’t. Hold. Back.”
He doesn’t. He tilts his hips and picks up the pace, making me appreciate just how much Zack Armstrong has to give.
CHAPTER 26
“You’ll be very relieved to know that my legs are working again. And I found chopsticks.” I tilt my head toward the breast pocket of the shirt I’m wearing. It’s Zack’s. I commandeered it from his closet.
He’s kneeling in front of the fireplace, dressed only in sweats. The fire is roaring and he’s lit the gas heaters on the upstairs deck. There’s a love seat and chair out there along with a coffee table. I have the bag of Thai in one hand and two beers in the other. Zack promptly relieves me of one of the beers and the bag of food.
“Smells great!”
I follow him outside. “I worked very hard heating it up in the microwave.”
Zack’s arranging the cartons, but he pauses to pull me into his arms. His hand curls around the same spot where Sarah grabbed me this morning at the elevator. Without thinking, I wince.
“Did I hurt you in the shower?” The alarm in his voice makes me realize I can’t pass this off as something he did. It would cut him to the quick.
“No, it happened earlier today.”
He’s pushing up the sleeve and inspecting my arm. There’s already a bruise. Several. With a gentle finger, he traces the outline of the handprint. “Did Kallistos do this to you when you were locked in that room with him?”
“No. It wasn’t Kallistos.” The last thing I need is for Zack to have one more reason to go gunning for Kallistos. I tell him the truth. “It was Sarah.”
“Sarah?” From the expression on his face I can tell it wasn’t the answer he was expecting.
“She showed up at the office.”
“Looking for me?”
“Me, actually.”
He frowns. “I have a feeling I’m not going to like your answer, but what for?”
“To give me the stay-away-from-my-man speech.”
“I’m not her—”
“Did the two of you sleep together the other night? Just tell me the truth, Zack. I’m ancient. I haven’t the heart for games and betrayal.”
To his credit, Zack doesn’t skip a beat. “Yes. Slept. She showed up here after you left. She had no place to stay. She knew I wouldn’t turn her away. I couldn’t. We shared the cage.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it. I meant it when I told you it was over between the two of us.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “I’ve got to put an end to this. It isn’t Sarah’s fault. Without meaning to, I’ve put her in a bad spot. She’s desperate and feeling cornered. That’s a dangerous combination.”
He pushes a button on his cell and listens intently before leaving a message. “J.C., it’s Zack. Look, I know what you’re trying to do. I can even understand it. But it’s not going to work. I told you before, I’m done. I’m not coming back. This isn’t my fight and Sarah isn’t going to convince me otherwise. She has no sway over me. None. If you don’t set this right, I’ll have to.”
Zack tosses the phone onto the coffee table, then walks over to the rail and stares out at the ocean. The nerve in his jaw is ticking. I give him a moment to collect his thoughts before asking, “So, who’s J.C.?”
He turns back to face me. “J. C. Hewitt, he’s the current beta of my old pack. He’s wilder than a June bug and dumber than a doornail. Before I left there was an upset, a turnover in leadership. The new alpha, Asa Wade, is a heartless bully. He’s ruthless. He’s also smart and ambitious. He started to develop alliances. The culture began to shift in a direction I couldn’t abide.”
“And that’s why you left?”
Zack nods. “People were getting hurt. Everyone was afraid. Some, including J.C., were looking to me to put a stop to it all.”
I hand Zack his beer. “They were pressuring you to take on this Wade character?”
He drinks down half of it before answering, “I’ve spent too much time on my own. Too much time dealing with brutal killers and cold-blooded sociopaths who will do anything to hold on to power. I joined the pack because I wanted to be a part of something, not because I wanted to be in charge or responsible.” Sadness washes over him, clouding his features. “Power has a way of changing a man. I’m not fit to be a leader. I’ve made too many mistakes.” He finishes off the rest of his beer.
I hand him mine. “I bet it wasn’t an easy decision, walking away.”
Zack reaches for my hand and leads me to the love seat. “Easy, no. But I’d walked away from bigger and badder than Asa Wade. I was lost once. I promised myself I’d never go down that road again. Some of the pack members evidently think they can still persuade me to come back, J.C. for one. Apparently Wade has his eye on Sarah and he scared the shit out of her. It didn’t take much persuading. J.C. planted the seed and—”
“Sarah came here to talk you into going back and getting rid of Wade.”
“Only in doing that, she put herself in a tight spot. She can’t really go back. Not without betraying her agenda or submitting to Wade. That pack, that place, it’s all she’s ever known.”
“Is it the only pack you’ve known?”
Zack nods, his expression grave. “It didn’t take long, after walking away from my old life, to realize that walking away wasn’t enough. I needed to walk toward something. I needed to find meaning.”
“And you found it with them?”
“For a while. It felt like home.” Zack shakes his head and with it the melancholy seems to lift, replaced by something else. Resolve. Determination. “Wade is the worst kind of wolf. Sarah can’t go back there.”
I feel a flush of compassion for Sarah. “What are you going to do?”
Zack kisses me on the forehead and plucks two of the chopsticks from my pocket. “Eat. Worship every inch of you. Figure out the Sarah problem tomorrow.” He dives into the shrimp pad Thai.
His ease with casual affection is enviable. I’m out of practice. For good reason, I remind myself. I pop open the container of drunken noodles and give the contents a pensive stir. My perspective concerning Sarah is shifting. She’s desperate and afraid, torn away from all she’s known and facing life alone in a strange place. Something I’ve experienced a thousand times. Perhaps—
“Emma?”
Zack’s voice pulls me back. He’s said something and I’ve totally missed it. I try for a smile. “Sorry. It’s been a long day.”
He tilts his head to the side and studies me. “Something else is on your mind. Out with it.”
I bite back the urge to deny and deflect and go for the truth. “I don’t want to see anyone get hurt. You or Sarah.”
It’s the truth. But I’m also thinking of more than pack politics. I’m thinking of Demeter. I blow into the container. It gives me a place to focus.
Zack turns sideways in the love seat. “I know how to take care of myself. I was trained by the best. But I
