Reckless

proposing marriage to me, living together, having kids, everything. It all seemed so perfect. But would it be perfect? Would it really happen like that? If it did, OMG, I couldn’t imagine a better life.

Christos sat down at the table with his own giant omelet and toast. He gazed into my eyes with his impossible blues, casting a spell of love and fulfillment I’d never known before.

In moments like this, Christos’ eyes made me believe that the impossible came true for him every day. And today, he was sweeping me into his fantasy life with him.

Was it possible that the impossible fantasy Christos was proposing would come true for me too? I dove into his gaze and let the magical feeling of certain joyful bliss fill me up.

Life with Christos. A family and a successful art career with the most amazingly beautiful, thoughtful, kind man in the world. I shivered thinking about it, barely conscious of my breakfast as I indulged in our loving daydream.

After finishing our food, we drove to the library for Crayons with Christos and World-Renowned Master Crayon Artist Samantha Smith. Christos must have called it that twenty times on the way over. I was starting to like it quite a bit.

Mrs. Elders greeted us when we walked through the main doors. “Good morning, Christos! You too, Samantha! What a pleasure to see you both. Some of the kids have been asking about you two since Christmas.”

“Hey, Mrs. Elders,” Christos said, hugging her. “I missed you, too.”

“Oh!” Mrs. Elders said, patting his back. To me, she said, “Isn’t Christos such a nice boy?”

“The nicest,” I said.

“Well, the children are waiting for you,” Mrs. Elders smiled.

Christos and I walked into the room where the kids waited. As always, they erupted with excitement when they saw us.

Some of them chorused, “Christos!” while others hollered, “Samantha!”

Christos winked at me. “See, you’re already famous.”

One of the little girls, named Abby, ran up to both of us in a frilly pink dress. “Did you go on a honeymoon together?”

I knelt down beside her, smiling. “What do you mean, Abby?”

“When I didn’t see you and Christos since forever, I told my mommy you got married. She said when a daddy and a mommy got married, they go on a honeymoon.”

I smiled at her while thinking about everything that had happened since my trip to D.C. with Christos. Despite both our crazy schedules and all the ups and downs, the last several weeks of my life had felt like a honeymoon to me. Especially when I compared them to the last few years of my life.

Bitch. Slut. Whore…

Emo. Goth. Suicide Watch…

Yeah, compared to my past, my present was most definitely a paradise. I repressed a shudder and closed the lid on my old demons before they could pull any tears from my eyes today. As much as I wanted to sweep away my past forever, it still haunted me.

Looking into Abby’s beaming, joyful eyes made it easy to focus on the present. I smiled my biggest smile at her, “That’s so sweet, Abby,” I sniffed, “but Christos and I aren’t married.”

“Why not?” she asked innocently.

I looked up at Christos, surprised by the huge grin on his face. My eyes were watering.

“That’s a good question, Abby” he smiled.

Gulp.

I totally needed a tissue.

“All right!” Christos bellowed to the roomful of kids. “Who wants to draw today?!”

“We do!!!” the kids chorused.

Oh well. Tissues later, kids and crayons now!

SAMANTHA

The drawing lesson with the kids was a blast. Afterward, we said goodbye to the children and walked outside.

“That was so much fun!” I said. “I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed those kids.”

“Yeah,” Christos smiled, “I never get tired of them.”

“So, what’s next?”

Christos suddenly looked nervous, and ran his hand through his hair. I think this was the first time I’d ever seen Christos nervous. “Would you be bummed if I had to work today?”

Of course I would be, but I didn’t want to say it and sound like a complaining baby. So I half-smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

“I really have a lot to do at the studio today,” he said regretfully. “I’ve got a model coming in half an hour.”

“Oh.” I think my disappointment bled through into my voice. I couldn’t help it. I knew what “a model” meant. It meant a nude woman sitting in front of Christos while he stared at her for hours. I wanted to be the only nude woman he ever stared at. But I knew he couldn’t make a career out of painting portraits of me in the nude, over and over again. Who would buy them? Probably no one. Lame.

Besides, I didn’t want to be painted in the nude anyway. It would almost be like I was getting lumped into the same category as all his other trophy nudes. I felt special because he had not painted me nude. Best to keep it that way.

“Agapi mou, I know last year we had mentor dates every Saturday, but with all the work coming in from Brandon, I don’t think I can swing it today. Maybe next weekend? I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

I sighed. We hadn’t seen much of each other since classes had started. All I wanted to do was spend the day with Christos, but we both had lives and commitments to attend to. I really was determined not to be “too” needy. “It’s okay,” I said softly. “I really need to look for a job today anyway.”

“That’s right,” he said, sounding relieved.

I hoped not too relieved. Stupid nude models.

“I wish I could help with the job search,” he said with genuine regret, “but I don’t have time.”

“It’s fine,” I said, wishing he could too, but I knew his work was important right now. Just like my job search. It had to get done. Meh. “At least Romeo is coming with me.”

“Awesome. He should liven things up.”

“Yeah,” I said apathetically. Romeo would add some spice, but why did I feel like something was ending between me and Christos? Maybe little Abby was right. Maybe my honeymoon with Christos was behind us, and it was back to the usual daily grind from here on out. Maybe Christos’ rosy fantasy was nothing more than that. A fantasy.

“I should drive you home,” Christos said, “or I’m going to be late for my model.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. Wow, this sucked. I was going to hunt for a job at the first fast-food joint that would have me and my boyfriend was going to hang out with a hot nude model the whole time. Was there something wrong with this picture, I mean, other than the fact that my boyfriend’s portion of it sounded like a double-page spread in a nudie magazine?

Christos dropped me off at my apartment and kissed me goodbye.

I clomped upstairs and called Romeo. Time to start looking for work as a fry cook or burger flipper. I was not looking forward to it.

“Sam!!!!!” Romeo answered. “Are you ready to hunt for a job?”

“If I must,” I groaned.

“It’s going to be so exciting. We’ll be like jungle explorers, beating through the bush looking for the Lost City of Gold!”

“Totally,” I grimaced to myself. The only gold I could imagine we’d find were Golden Arches. But at this point, working at McDonald’s sounded better than going back to Accounting.

“I’ll be over at your place in twenty minutes,” Romeo said.

“Okay. See you then.”