friend do you?' he chuckles. 'No way.'
'But we didn't get to the happy ever after bit did we?'
'No, and that's where it gets complicated,' he says. 'See, after you left...” He swallows hard and thinks about whether or not to go on, I nod, urging him. “I wanted to put you behind me because I thought you bailed on us. I needed something to focus on. So I offered to be their sperm donor.' He sighs. 'They we were surprisingly on board, but I made them have a serious think about it first.'
I listen patiently. 'Then Jen told me that they wanted to go ahead...but only if I talked to you.” He grimaces. 'We had quite a fight. She had tried everything else to get me to call you and apparently she wasn't above emotional blackmail. She was convinced you must have had a good reason for leaving and she told me she couldn't take my first child if I still had a chance with you. She said if you really left because you didn't want me anymore, she would never mention it again, but if I wanted her to consider my offer I had to try. They would only go through with it if we were back on the right track, or if I was single for good.' He exhales as he remembers the scenario. 'That's when I called Max and found out about Brooke...that's when you fell. By the next day I was here. I haven't talked to Jen about it since.'
'How do you feel about it now?'
'Everything is different now. I have you. We are going to start a family.'
'Is it the distance? Did you see yourself being more involved?'
'No, I only ever wanted to be Uncle Danny. It's not that. It's us. I don't want anything getting in between us. I just wish helping them could be simpler, less significant, you know?'
'I know, but what you have offered to do is huge.'
'Which is why I won't do it.' He sighs. 'Jen understands. I just wish I didn't feel so bad. Especially now that we are trying to make a baby. How will I tell her when that happens?' I watch him imagine that conversation in his head, it pains him.
'I understand what it is to love someone like you love her. Don't forget that,' I say stroking his fingers. 'I would want to help Max.' I readjust my grip on him so that his hands are in mine and I dip my head to establish eye contact. 'You should do it.'
His face slowly changes from pained, to bemused and finally settles on amazed. 'Why are you so wonderful?'
I laugh. 'I just want you to be happy, I get why this is so important to you.'
'But they won't have any trouble picking another donor. It would be less complicated for everyone.' He argues.
'Now that you're here though, wouldn't you like that tie to them? We are kind of a family already. It doesn't make it that much more fucked up! You're essentially married to her anyway. You give yourself to her emotionally and I have no problem with that because I have it too. We healed ourselves by replacing each other, in a way that lots of people wouldn't understand. But now that we've found each other again, we are more than just us two...Do it. Make them happy, because by doing that you'll make us happy. I couldn't stand it if we had a baby and I kept seeing that pained look on your face, because you felt guilty.'
Danny assesses me, looking for some sort of crack in me that shows I'm just saying this to do the right thing. There isn't one, I truly mean this. I want him to do it. When he is sure, he grabs me in his arms and squeezes me tight. 'Thank you,' he whispers and I squeeze him back.
Chapter Twenty
Liv.
Happy birthday, baby.
Okay, where is he now? I’m starting to get a little ticked off. Every time I turn around these days Danny has nipped off somewhere. What is worse is he keeps taking Max with him. I don’t mind sharing, but it’s getting ridiculous. Ever since our offer was accepted on the house, he has been running around like a blue-arsed fly. I don’t even know what he gets up to. It’s an hour here, a couple there, but it’s every day. If he's picking stuff for the house, I’d like to be involved. If he's meeting the solicitor, I should be there…If he’s freaking out, I should know!
He is fidgety, even in the evenings, he is constantly checking emails and sending texts. He’s not troubled, he seems happy and he’s being really attentive too. Our ‘baby practice’ is going well, he can’t keep his hands off me. If I’m not carrying triplets right now, I’d be really surprised! I’m not, by the way. But we are working on it. I’m impressed with myself for not thinking the worst. The potential meaning of the fact that he is missing a lot, sending private texts and being overly attentive in the bedroom, isn’t lost on me. But I have no doubts this time, it isn’t even a consideration. Danny is all mine and mine alone. I would just like to know what he is up to.
I run into Max locking up the store room. He looks really guilty.
“Hey, where’s Danny,” I ask, pretending not to notice. I cut him a little slack today, it’s my thirtieth birthday tomorrow and they may well be planning something. That doesn’t account for almost a month of this weirdness, but I’ll let it go today.
“Parking the car, I think.” He shrugs.
“Oh.” I mutter turning away. I catch Max’s look of ‘Phew-that-was-close’ and I round on him. “I will get to the bottom of whatever it is you two are up to!” He pulls a face, but says nothing and I walk away feeling satisfied. I just wanted to put the wind up him, not ruin a surprise.
Danny is walking through the back door when I cross the garden. He looks up from his phone and grins, shoving it deep in his pocket.
“I’ve been looking for you again!”
“Sorry, I had to go out, what’s up?” he says casually as he wraps me up in his arms, distracting me with a deep kiss. This is what keeps happening. If I show any interest in what he’s up to I get the disarming, full-mega- watt Danny.
“My mum’s here, she wants to take me out for the day. I just wanted to let you know.”
He grins. “Perfect. Have fun.” He kisses the end of my nose and lets me go.
Huh! I think as I walk away, nice, I’ll miss you too! I grab my bag and find Mum and Connie chatting in the diner. It’s nice that she has come up to see me for my birthday. I haven’t really seen her much since I’ve been back to almost normal. She is so sweet coming today so that I can have tomorrow with Danny.
“Okay, we can go.” I huff as I approach them.
“Everything alright darling?”
“Oh, yeah,” I say shaking my head to let her know it’s nothing really. “Danny is just very distracted with the house and stuff. I know he and Max are up to something, it’s probably my birthday present. But I’m hoping he will come back to me once this is all done.” I sigh. I haven’t told her he is also planning to fly to LA in a few weeks to donate sperm for Jen and Scott. He hasn’t even told them yet. Apparently he just wants to sort the house out first, but it sounds like an excuse to me. I think he’s leaving it to sink in a bit, to test how I really feel. But I know how I feel won’t change. I fully support him in wanting to do this and when he goes, I’m going to go with him to prove it.
Mum smirks. “Don’t be on his case about your birthday. You know he will want to spoil you rotten. Don’t you dare ruin it for him.”
“I won’t, Mum.”
I feel a tiny bit tipsy when I get home. Mum and Connie took me to a spa as a birthday treat. We had afternoon tea with champagne and then we ordered more bubbly and sat around by the pool lazily, knocking it back. I’ve had a full top-to-toe and I feel like I’m floating. Mum went to town treating me and after having the works, they insisted we all have our hair done. I feel a bit overdone for a night on the sofa with Danny, especially as I return home to an empty flat. I was expecting Danny to be home, but he’s obviously in the bar. I turn back around to go downstairs and find him, when my attention goes to the door.
Hanging on the back of the door is a garment bag with an envelope attached. Written on the envelope is my name in Danny’s writing. I reach for it slowly, not sure if I should have seen this before tomorrow. He surely wouldn’t have left it here if I wasn’t. I open the envelope and pull out a note on heavy white paper.
