A smart lady at the front clears her throat and draws our attention. She begins by introducing herself and welcoming the guests. I’m vaguely aware of the people behind me, but I can’t look now. Instead I look down at my feet and that's when I notice Danny's Converse, crisp and new and black just like Max's. A stupid grin threatens to grip me and derail the moment, so I keep my eyes low. But Danny's fingers brush mine to get my attention so I have to look up at him. Frowning at not knowing what I'm finding funny, he holds my gaze. I mouth 'It’s perfect' and he’s almost bashful and looks away. I squeeze his fingers to force him to look back. 'I love you,' I mouth. His eyes fill with tears and suddenly I fear we are both going to crumble in front of everyone.
“In normal circumstances,” the celebrant says, interrupting our silent torment, “I would have got to know the couple before me already. But I understand that this is no ordinary couple.” A ripple of laughter comes from behind me and I smile that she has rescued us. “When I meet a couple I am to marry, it’s quite normal to hear most of the information from the excited bride, while the groom takes a back seat. However, I’ve had the privilege of dealing solely with the groom on this occasion and it has been wonderful to learn about the love they have for one another through his eyes.”
Okay, I’m going to cry! I’m very grateful that the last thing Max did was press a folded tissue into my hand as he kissed it.
She goes on to say some touching words about our friendship as small children and how it blossomed into love in our teens. She speaks about our separation, glossing over the gut-wrenching heartbreak, instead issuing wise words about sometimes needing a second chance, because sometimes we are not ready when fate hands us the first chance. I dab my eyes throughout. She enthusiastically describes how we reconnected. Again managing to side-step all talk of the devastating break-up, but making sure she covers the point that we were so in love that our fear of losing each other again almost threatened our future. Then she rounds off her brief history by saying that we have learned from the troubles we’ve had, never to underestimate each other’s love and commitment. It’s all just perfect.
“Now the bride’s best friend, Max, would like to read a passage.” I watch Max come to stand at the front and unfold his paper, I marvel at how calm he looks. He faces the audience, but turns his stare to us, as he confidently recites the words without once looking at the page.
It’s a beautiful passage by Richard Bach. I almost read it at his wedding, but we found something more appropriate for them. But it suits Danny and me perfectly. It’s about keys fitting locks and when we feel safe enough to open the locks we can be who we truly are. I’m not completely taking it in right now, but I can remember thinking it was beautiful.
Every one claps as Max sits back down. I wipe my eyes as delicately as I can. Then we move into the formal part of the ceremony.
She asks us the important questions… “Daniel, will you take Olivia to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?”
“I will,” replies Danny, never taking his eyes from mine. A shiver runs down my spine. I want to look away, it’s too emotional, but he wants our eye contact, it’s important and if he can do it, so can I.
“Olivia, will you take Daniel to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”
“I will,” I reply, expecting to be overcome with emotion as soon as I try to speak. Instead I feel a thrill of excitement. We are really doing this and nothing is stopping us, not the universe, not psycho exes, not even our own insecurities.
“Will you, the friends and family of Daniel and Olivia, support and uphold them in their marriage, now and in the years to come?”
“We will.” They all answer collectively and I physically feel their warmth and love as they speak.
Danny and I are asked to hold hands and face each other. “Olivia, Daniel hopes you won’t mind that he has made the vows more personal for you.” Danny grins sheepishly. Then she recites his vows and he repeats them, line for line.
“I, Daniel, take you, Olivia, to be my wife.
To love you from this day forward, as I’ve always loved you in the past,
For better, for worse and all that other stuff that doesn't matter as long as we are together.
I promise to be honest with you and never doubt your love for me, whatever life throws at us.
I will always support your individuality and be grateful you don’t like Jimmy Choos.
I promise to be your tech-support, watch chick flicks with you and rub ointment on your new tattoos.”
We all giggle. A big, fat tear rolls down my face, I hope this mascara holds up. Then he takes a deep breath and finishes with a line that threatens to send me over the edge into a sobbing mess.
“Like this tree, we stumbled and fell, but something so strong cannot be wiped out in one moment.
I’m always rooted here with you and together we are too strong to fade away.
I promise we will continue to grow together even if there are more storms to come.”
I just manage to hold it together, I don't know how. Most people here won’t understand the reference, but I’m so glad he included it. Those words are so special to us.
I wonder what I will have to say? Danny winks, knowing I’ll think it’s funny. Then it's my turn to repeat the words.
“I, Olivia, take you, Daniel, to be my husband.
To love you from this day forward, as I’ve always loved you in the past,
For better, for worse and all that other stuff that doesn't matter as long as we are together.
I promise to be honest with you and never doubt your love for me, whatever life throws at us.
I will always let you do things for me, even though I’m a control freak.
I won’t object if you decide to restore another classic car and I promise not to go up any more ladders.”
Waiting for the laughter to settle before she continues, the celebrant has no idea that she is letting my poor, frayed emotions build up before I say the very thing I'm not sure I can say out loud. I inhale a calming breath as she says it first, then I release it before I speak.
“Like this tree, we stumbled and fell, but something so strong cannot be wiped out in one moment.
You are always rooted here with me and together we are too strong to fade away.
I promise we will continue to grow together even if there are more storms to come.”
I finish my vows, in pieces obviously, but grinning at Danny’s cuteness along with everyone else. He looks so pleased with himself.
Next the rings are presented by Scott who stands behind Danny. The celebrant asks us to hold both hands in front of us while she reads the Hands Ceremony. Whatever that is…it sounds American.
“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as you build your future together. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”
When she says that thing about holding our children, my insides literally clench. Now that it’s in our immediate future, I’ve begun to feel it like a dull ache, which flares up whenever my attention is drawn to it. I never saw myself this way, but the reality of making a family with Danny has had a strange effect on me. She turns to Danny and offers my ring. He places it on my finger and repeats the words she reads.
“I give you this ring as a symbol of my commitment to you. It has no beginning and it has no end. Let it always remind you of my infinite love for you.” Danny slides a perfectly plain platinum band onto my finger and I smile. It will look just right with my far from plain engagement ring once I put it back on after this.
Then we repeat the process and I say the same words, sliding a matching ring onto Danny’s finger.
Then the moment we’ve been waiting for.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Danny leans in to kiss me and everyone cheers.
