have already fallen. I watch her. She is flawless, perfect…
“Danny?”
“Huh?”
Jen grins. “I said, where do you keep table mats? You’re in your own world.”
“Sorry, down there.” I point to the cabinet beside her. I finish piling the bacon onto a serving dish and carry it to the table.
We all sit down to eat and of course Nugget just wants to be held…and what can I say? I’m a sucker for my princess, so I wander around with her sleeping on my shoulder until she properly settles then keep her with me when I sit down. Liv serves my food and cuts up the bacon for me and I eat with just my fork. We have this down now!
“So come on then, the suspense is killing me!” Jen suddenly exclaims. “What are you calling her?”
Liv looks at me and I wait for her to say something.
“I’m happy,” she says. “I love it.”
“Really, you’re sure? You don’t want to go back to the list?” Everyone groans. “Okay, okay! Settle down.” I absently stroke Nugget’s back…Ah! No more Nugget! Okay, here goes then…
“It just came to me in the night. It’s perfect, it’s so us.” I look over at Liv and she smiles. “We’re calling her Willow.”
“I love it!” says Max. “Of course! God, I’m annoyed I didn’t think of that. It’s perfect.”
“It means strong, graceful and flexible, and hopefully she’ll be like our tree and be able to survive all the storms,” I explain.
“It’s beautiful!” Jen sobs. I didn’t realise she was emotional and frown.
“Jen, don’t cry…”
Scott puts his arm around her and tells her she’s so silly, but I can see there is more to her emotions than just Willow’s name.
“Jen?” I say quietly.
She looks up at me and tries to smile. “It’s nothing,” she says. “Just hormones.”
Everyone else is discussing the name and its meaning and I just stare at Jen in disbelief.
The corner of her mouth curls up in a smile and I know. I glance at Scott…for the love of God man…notice what she just said!
“Wait? Hormones?” he suddenly says.
Jen grins through the tears and ‘doing a Liv’, pulls a pregnancy test out of her pocket.
Scott’s face is vacant for a second while he stares at the stick, then the lights come back on. “Baby, is this for real?” he asks with a slightly desperate edge to his voice.
“It’s for real,” she says
He pulls her up out of her chair and into his arms and kisses her as if they’re completely alone.
“I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you, too.” She laughs, through tears.
She turns to us and the room goes crazy, everyone is up and congratulating them. Breakfast is forgotten.
I just sit and stare.
We did it!
WE DID IT!
With Nugget…fuck it!...with Willow still snuggled into my neck, I get up and go to them. Liv and Jen are both crying and hugging and I can hear Jen thanking Liv. Liv waves it off, but Jen insists that while I’ve given them this gift, it’s because Liv supported me that it was possible, and she’s right.
Scott turns to me. We lock eyes for a second. I can see the appreciation there, but I really don’t want to discuss it, he’s going to be a father at last, I have no place in his moment. So I hold out my hand and he shakes it and smiles.
“Congratulations man.”
“Thank you,” he replies and pulls me in for a guy hug. “Thank you,” he says again before we break apart. I pat him on the shoulder.
Then Jen turns to face me and, through the happy tears, she laughs. She slips her hands around my waist and I fold her in my free arm. She lays her head on my chest beside Willow and I feel her relax.
I kiss the top of her head and she looks up at me and smiles.
“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you,” she says quietly.
“No thanks necessary.”
“But what you did…”
I shake my head. “It’s me who needs to thank you. I owe you everything.”
“You owe me nothing.” She frowns.
“Really? If it wasn’t for you, my stubborn ass would still be living in LA pretending to be happy. Jen, you made me see sense over and over. You pushed me to do the right thing even though you knew it would mean you would lose out. You never once said stay because I’ll miss you. You know that’s all it would have taken too, but you gave me up to make sure I was happy. I wouldn’t have any of this if it wasn’t for you. So, thank you.”
She sighs and smiles. “You are happy aren’t you?”
“Happy doesn’t even cover it.” I laugh.
I pull her closer and hold her. She lets me have my moment because she knows what I feel for her and how hard being apart can be, but she smiles and I do too. She has her life and I have mine, she rescued me when I was drowning more times than I can count and I finally feel like I've paid her back. I wish we could always be around each other. I wish I could look in her eyes and see her smile and have her with me every day, but I can’t. Instead I’ve left some of me with her…and that’s forever.
It isn't perfect, they’re too far away, but I have Liv and Willow, my world. And I’m unbelievably happy.
Acknowledgements.
My thanks remain much the same for this book as they were for the last, because I wrote them back to back.
To Steve and my babies, I am eternally grateful for your patience and understanding over the past year. I know I haven't always been easy to live with, but I am trying. I love you and nothing makes me happier or more proud than you.
I know I have neglected everyone while I have been making this happen and I know how lucky I am to have such an understanding family. I love you.
To my ever-forgiving friends, I haven't forgotten about you. I know we are all busy, but I have been truly appalling! Thank you for not writing me off.
To my Scaries, for your unwavering support during the release of Just Human, I will be forever grateful. Your beta comments have once again made this book better than it was and just having you in my life has made me so happy.
Kat, I can't wait for the day when we can sit, drinking 'C&C' and talking 'A' together. I am so happy to finally be able to talk about MY Sinners with you. Just know, we will be discussing them in detail once the drinks finally flow.
Ava, I hope you have your granny trolley ready, November is almost here and we will be able to meet for real. I hope you are not actually as much of 'a lady' as you claim; I may need you to look after me!
Kelly, I want to sit on your deck and eat your pie! That's all I ask really, I wait patiently for the day! I'll always be around to scoop up the mush you turn to when certain people talk to you on TL
Stacy, I'm so glad we overcame your clit issues! The books are better for it. I long for the day when I can sit and listen to your crickets. Narcissistic assholes! Maybe you can take me to Costco too. Your late night VMs always make me smile on a Sunday morning, more please!
Puff, you work too much, but when you do pop up, you have me in stitches every time. You use many of my
