Losing Hope

I don’t know how she can possibly think going back to that house is in any way a good idea. There’s absolutely nothing she needs from there. “No way. I’m not putting you through that again. You’re not going back.”

“I need to, Holder,” she says pleadingly. “I swear I won’t get out of the car this time. I swear. But I need to see the house again before we go. I remembered so much while I was there. I just want a few more memories before you take me back and I have to decide what to do.”

Jesus, she’s relentless. I pace the floor, not knowing how I can get it through her head that she can’t do this.

“Please,” she says again.

Ugh! I can’t say no to that voice.

“Fine,” I groan. “I told you I would do whatever it was you felt you needed to do. But I’m not hanging all of those clothes back up.”

She laughs and rushes to me, throwing her arms around my neck. “You’re the best, most understanding boyfriend in the whole wide world.”

I hug her back and sigh. “No, I’m not. I’m the most whipped boyfriend in the whole wide world.”

* * *

We’re sitting in my car across the street from her old house and I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard I’m afraid I might break it. Her father just pulled up into his driveway, and as mad and outraged as I’ve been in the past, I’ve never had the urge to actually kill someone until now. Just seeing him makes my stomach turn and my blood boil. I lift my hand to the ignition, knowing nothing good can come of this if I don’t drive away right now.

“Don’t leave,” she says, pulling my hand away from the ignition. “I need to see what he looks like.”

I sigh and fall back against the seat. She needs to hurry up and get what she needs because this is bad. This is bad, bad, bad.

“Oh, my God,” she whispers. I turn to her, wanting to know what made her just say that. “It’s nothing,” she says. “He just looks . . . familiar. I haven’t had an image of him in my head at all but if I was to see him walking down the street, I would know him.”

We watch as he ends a conversation on his cell phone and walks to the mailbox.

“Have you had enough?” I ask her. “Because I can’t stay here another second without jumping out of this car and beating his ass.”

“Almost,” she says, leaning across the seat to get a better look. I don’t understand why she would even want to see him. I don’t understand how she’s not jumping out of this car in order to rip his balls off, because that’s the only urge I have right now.

After her father finally disappears inside his house, I turn and look at her.

“Now?”

She nods. “Yeah, we can go now.”

I place my hand on the ignition and crank the car, then watch in horror as she swings open the door and rushes out of the car.

What the fuck?

I turn the car off and swing open my door, running after her. I chase her all the way across the front yard and halfway up the porch steps. I wrap my arms around her and lift her up, then turn back to the car. She’s trying to fight me and kick me and I’m doing everything I can to get her as far away from the house as I can so he doesn’t hear her.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I say through clenched teeth.

“Let go of me right now, Holder, or I’ll scream! I swear to God, I’ll scream!”

I let go of her and spin her around to face me. I grip her shoulders tightly and try to shake some goddamned sense into her.

“Don’t do this, Sky. You don’t need to face him again, not after what he’s done. I want you to give yourself more time.”

She looks at me and begins to shake her head. “I have to know if he’s doing this to anyone else. I need to know if he has more kids. I can’t just let it go, knowing what he’s capable of. I have to see him. I have to talk to him. I need to know that he’s not that man anymore before I can allow myself to get back in that car and just drive away.”

I take her face in my hands and try to reason with her. “Don’t do this. Not yet. We can make a few phone calls. We’ll find out whatever we can online about him first. Please, Sky.” I turn her toward the car and she sighs. She finally relents and begins walking toward the car with me.

“Is there a problem here?”

We both spin around at the sound of his voice. He’s standing at the base of the porch steps, eyeing me carefully. If I wasn’t having to physically prevent Sky from falling to the ground right now, I’d be rushing him.

“Young lady, is this man hurting you?”

She grows limp in my arms the second he speaks to her directly. I pull her against my chest. “Let’s go,” I whisper. I turn her toward the car. I need to get her away from him. I just need to get her to the car.

“Don’t move!” he yells.

Sky freezes at the sound of his voice, but I’m still trying to urge her toward the car.

“Turn around!”

I can’t force Sky forward at this point and there really isn’t a way out of this situation. I begin to turn her around with me and keep my arm wrapped around her. She looks into my eyes and there’s more terror in them than I ever imagined a single person could feel.

“Play it off,” I whisper in her ear. “He might not recognize you.”

She nods and we both face her father now. I’m not concerned with the fact that he may recognize me. Other than the day Hope went missing, he never spoke to me. I’m just hoping to hell he doesn’t recognize her, but I know he will. A parent would recognize his own child, no matter how long it’s been.

He’s making his way toward us, and the closer he gets, the more I see the recognition in his eyes. He knows her.

Shit.

He pauses when he’s several feet from us and tries to look her in the eyes, but she presses herself against me and looks down at the ground.

“Princess?” he says.

She begins to slide out of my arms and I look down at her. Her eyes have rolled back into her head and she’s falling. I keep a tight grip on her and ease her to the ground completely so that I can get a better grip on her. I need to get her out of here right now.

I slide my hands under her arms and try to pull her up. Her father comes closer and grabs her hands to help me.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” I scream. He immediately backs away, looking at me in shock.

I look back down at her and grab her head, trying to bring her back to consciousness.

“Baby, open your eyes. Please.”

Her eyelids flutter open and she looks up at me. “It’s okay,” I reassure her. “You just passed out. I need you to stand up. We need to leave.” I pull her to her feet and steady her against me. I give her a second to regain her strength. Her father is right in front of her now.

“It is you,” he says staring at her. He looks at me, then back to Sky. “Hope? Do you remember me?” His eyes are full of tears.

“Let’s go,” I say to her, attempting to pull her with me. She has to know how much I’m trying to refrain from attacking him right now. We. Need. To. Leave.

She resists my pull as her father takes another step toward her, so I pull her a step away from him.

“Do you?” he says again. “Hope, do you remember me?”

Sky’s whole body grows tense. “How could I forget you?” she spits.

He sucks in a breath. “It’s you,” he says, fidgeting his hand down at his side. “You’re alive. You’re okay.” He pulls out his radio, but I take a step forward and knock it out of his hand before he can report it.