PANIC

“I live with two guys. I never really thought of it that way, but it’s pretty clear now.”

“We promise not to walk around naked too much, Blackbird.”

“Or bring stray pets home.” Ford smirks, still concentrating on his work.

“Set the table, Rook, and get the drinks. I won’t card you because it’s your first night, but just remember I’m doing you a favor and you owe me.”

I shake my head and pass out the plates and silverware and then get us three beers. Spence only has one kind and it’s from the microbrewery in FoCo, which is kinda cool. “I might regret staying here with you guys. Ford, get your shit off the table, we’re eating now.”

“See, Ford. Told you, she’s already bossin’.”

Ford stacks up his stuff and puts everything but one large yellow envelope over on the living room coffee table. “What’s this one?” I ask, pointing to the thick package.

“Your gift. But let’s eat first.”

I look over to Spencer as he sets the basket of bread on the table and then goes back to get the spaghetti. “Don’t get excited, Rook. It’s not something cool like a motorcycle. I mean, he gave you opera tickets last night for fuck’s sake.” Spencer practically snorts. “His gifts are as lame as his personality. No wonder he has slaves instead of girlfriends.”

And then Ford glares at Spencer so hard I wonder if it might come with a growl.

“Sorry,” Spencer says quickly, looking over at me. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

I swallow and try to ignore the awkward moment by grabbing some bread as Spencer dishes out pasta on my plate. “Well—here we are,” I mumble into the silence.

“Yeah, well, let’s toast. Rook, I knew you were my blackbird when I first laid eyes on you”—I blush a little. I didn’t expect something personal—“and I was right. You were the perfect model for my paintings and you’re gonna be the perfect addition to my new show. I’m so glad you talked that caveman boyfriend of yours into letting you come join me here. I’d kiss ya, but something tells me you liked it a little too much when we did that last summer, so I’ll spare you the embarrassment of fawning all over me and keep it professional.” He winks and I laugh.

“I still don’t see it,” Ford mumbles. “How? How is that desirable, Rook? If I were toasting I’d say—” He clears his throat. “To Rook, the girl who got back up. The girl who never looks back. I hope you find your dream and it’s everything you ever wanted.”

“Awwww, Ford.”

“And to the end of her first failed fucking marriage because it’s official! May you never have another!” We all shout “Cheers!” together and clink bottles. I knew Ford was working on it, but he never said anything about it happening so soon. “Annulment, Rook. Like it never happened. You are hereby legally a marriage virgin.”

“Thanks so much, Ford. Is that what’s in the envelope?”

“No, that shit’s over there in the living room. This,” he says, holding up the envelope, “is your future.”

I hold my breath for a moment and then let it out. “What’s in it?”

“Everything you’ll need to apply to CU Boulder and an interview with the film department head.”

“What?” I’m stunned. “How? And why? I’ll never get in so soon, Ford. I’m not even done with one semester. And I might suck at this college stuff, I’m not doing well in math, so maybe—”

“Stop,” Ford says in a serious voice. “You’ll be fine. I’ve already chatted with the higher-ups and they’re giving you life credit for the reality show work. That’s enough to declare film your major. You will have to actually get in. But really, Rook, if I did all this, do you think I’d leave you hanging?”

I shake my head. He never would, I know this to be true.

“I’ve got a lot more in this envelope but we’ll do that later this week.”

“Good,” Spencer says through a mouthful of spaghetti. “Because this school shit is boring the fuck out me. Let’s talk about bikes. Or tits.”

“How did I get here? We’re Three’s Company. Spencer is airhead Chrissy, Ford is intellectual Janet, and I’m pretending to be gay so I don’t notice that you two are roommate eye-candy.”

Spencer looks over to Ford. “What the hell did that have to do with tits?”

Ford just shakes his head and laughs.

God, I love these guys. 

Chapter Thirteen - ROOK

After dinner Spencer goes out to the shop to work on his bikes and Ford kicks back on the couch, setting up my camera, as I do dishes. Every other word out of his mouth is ‘fuck’.

“How’s it going in there?”

“Fuck.”

“You don’t have to do that, you know. I can ask one of the camera guys tomorrow.”

He grunts in response.

“You know, I think that white thing on the floor by your foot is actually the manual.”

He looks up at me slowly and screws up his face, then goes back to pretending to not need said three- hundred-page book on the floor.

Typical man.

“Tell me what this school stuff is about, Ford. I’m starting to freak out a little. I’m not ready for that. I’m barely making it in math and—”

“I hired you a tutor, stop worrying,” he says as he messes with a camera lens.

“What tutor?”

“At the community college. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays at seven PM. Just show up, I already set it up and he’ll show you exactly what to do so you pass the tests.”

I’m staring at him over the bar that separates the kitchen from the living room. “Him who?”

“Um—” Ford gets up and grabs the envelope and shuffles though the paperwork. “Gage something. He’s a senior in engineering. Sounds like a real nerd, which means he’s perfect.” Ford goes back to the camera gear and snaps in the battery. “There, I think it’s ready now. But you will need to read the manual, otherwise you might as well be using your iPhone to make movies.”

I start the dishwasher and go plop down on the couch next to Ford. “Thank you. I’m so excited about this. I’m gonna start making movies like now.”

He puts his arm around me and gives me a squeeze. “You’re gonna be good at this, I can tell. You wanna go shoot Spencer in compromising positions and then edit the shit out of it to make him look stupid?”

I lean over and kiss Ford on the cheek. It’s impulsive and he almost has a small freakout before he shuts it off. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but you’re awesome.”

He disentangles himself from me and gets up, pulling me up with him. “I enjoy it, Rook. Being with you feels normal. I should be thanking you.”

We grab all the gear and spend the rest of the evening fucking around with Spencer in the shop. We even get him to lip-sync that Bad to the Bone song into a socket wrench. And by the time I get back to my basement apartment I’m feeling a lot better about my decision to come up here and live with Spence to do this show. My phone beeps an incoming text just as I settle back on my couch and turn on the TV.

My heart flutters a little as I read the text.

Dear Rook (AKA Gidget),

I’ve never had the urge to write a love letter but I’m lying in bed, looking over at your side, wondering if I can somehow change your mind about this whole deal and talk you into coming the fuck home. (I’m a selfish asshole, I know.) But I get that you need this so I’ll just say this instead: I felt like I was leaving a piece of my soul behind the moment I left. And every second that passes, I miss you like that, times a million.