PANIC

Spencer and I trek all the way back through the woods, me coughing so hard I keep looking around to make sure no one is gonna come kill us because I can’t be quiet.

“Don’t worry, Rook, Ford’s just up ahead with the van. He’s got your bike loaded and I saw those assholes back there leave, we’re cool.”

“How’d you know where I was?”

He chuckles and grabs my arm hard, saving me from a nasty fall that could’ve made the pain in my burned legs unbearable after I trip over a tree root. “I put a tracker on your bike and your jacket. You’re not gonna get away from us that easy, chick. We’re a team, remember?”

“But you’re not allowed to help.”

He glares down at me for a moment and then the hard expression in his eyes softens a little. “We have rules for a reason, Rook. You could’ve really fucked things up. You could’ve been killed, you could’ve—”

“OK, I get it. But Spencer—” I stop and pull on his leather jacket to make him stop with me. “If you knew what I got out of that house you wouldn’t be angry with me.”

“You’re wrong. If they knew you were there they would’ve killed you, you almost got burned alive. You got lucky, Rook. And we’re all pretty attached to you. Ronin will get himself out of this eventually. And when he does, the last thing he wants to hear is that the girl he’s gonna marry died doing something stupid.”

I stay quiet and just limp along after that. We exit the forest a few hundred yards down from where I went in and there’s a large white van waiting for us. Ford gets out of the driver’s seat with a gun in his hand, not even trying to hide it. Spencer and I are walking casually across the parking lot when Ford’s expression rests on me.

I stop dead in my tracks, making Spence stumble. “He’s mad at me.”

“Damn right he’s mad at you. And you deserve it.” Spencer pulls on me hard and hands me off to Ford, then walks over to the driver’s side and gets in.

I look up at Ford and try a pouty frown.

“Save that shit for Ronin. It won’t work on me. I am not talking to you. You scared the fuck out of us, you made me drive a thousand miles in a van alone with Spencer. You missed your university application deadline, and most of all, you didn’t trust me enough to help you.”

Ford takes my arm and pushes me over to the van, opens the door, and barks, “Get in. Sit on the floor between Spencer and me, there’s only room for two up front and I don’t even trust you enough to stay out of trouble locked in back with the bike right now.”

I do what I’m told. They did come get me after all. And my skin might be falling off from the burns instead of screaming at me from the pain if Spence hadn’t pulled me up out of the coal chute. There’s a small space behind the two front seats and a few sleeping bags lying longways on the floor, so I just lie down, stretch out, and let out a long breath. “I might need to go to the hospital. My legs really hurt.”

Spencer has already started rolling and Ford is just getting settled when this comes out. The van stops short and they both look down at me. “What do you mean?” Spencer asks, so I scoot around so I can prop my leg up on Ford’s thigh.

“I’m burned from the fire.” They both look down at my jeans, charred and with a few holes in them, and then Ford lifts up my pant leg and winces.

“Shit, Rook.”

“Is it bad?” I ask. “It hurts.”

“Drive, Spencer. I’ll check it out.” Ford lifts up my pant leg and unties my boot and slips it off, then asks for the other leg. “Take off your pants, Rook. Spencer, we need to find a drug store.”

“Is it bad?” I ask again as I wiggle out of my jeans, trying my best not to cry out as the rough fabric rubs against my red skin. Ford doesn’t even glance down at my goods, just lifts my foot back up. And why should he look? He’s seen me naked so often it hardly matters.

“No, I don’t think so,” he says, patting the skin on my calf gently, but not gentle enough to keep me from wincing. “It’s like a really bad sunburn, but if we find a drug store I know what will make it feel better.” And then he smiles and I lie back and relax.

I’m forgiven. His worry about me outweighs his anger.

I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out the contents of the basement box and my new iPhone and hand it up to him. “Here, Ford. I think this will help us get Ronin out.”

One eyebrow raises. “Is that why you ran?”

“I didn’t run, I just… left. To go get this stuff. And I did trust you, Ford. I trusted that you guys were telling the truth when you said you weren’t gonna help Ronin. So I’m sorry. But I know what these people want. Jon was into some really bad shit and he made me help him hide a whole bunch of evidence in case his partners ever turned on him. It implicates a lot of very important people in the buying and selling of girls to rich clients all over the world. That FBI guy in the house with Jon was involved—”

“What?” they both say together.

“Jon?” Ford asks.

“FBI guy?” Spencer adds.

I gulp some air and swallow, not quite ready to talk about what just happened but knowing I have to anyway. “Some guy named Abelli was the one in charge here and somehow he got Jon out of jail so he could make him give up the evidence. I was hiding in the floor grate, that’s where Jon and I made a safe place a couple years ago and put that stuff.” I nod at the flash drives in Ford’s hand. “Jon’s dead now though. They beat him until he was unconscious because he wouldn’t tell them where it was hidden. And then they shot him and set the house on fire to cover it up.” I leave out the part about Jon apologizing and saving my life. I’m not sure how to process that just yet.

Ford looks down at the drives I handed him and then grabs a bag on the floor near his feet and fishes out his laptop. He looks at me for a second as he pushes the flash drive in a USB port and waits for the files to appear. He studies it as Spence and I wait in silence. I’m not sure I want to know what’s on that drive and Spencer is navigating his way through a nearby town looking for a drugstore, so we sit quietly.

“What’s on the iPhone?” Ford asks after Spencer parks and gets out to go buy me some aloe vera sunburn spray.

“A video of that Abelli guy admitting he was gonna kidnap me and sell me to a guy in Columbia for half a million dollars.”

Ford’s eyes squint down into killer asshole mode.

“And Jon getting the life beat out of him and getting shot in the head.”

His eyes soften at this. “Did you see it?”

I nod.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “No one should have to see that.” He watches me struggle with the tears and then leans down a little. “It’s OK to feel bad about it, Rook. Even if he was evil. It’s still OK to feel bad.”

“Jon saved me at the end. He saw me hiding down in the grate hole. He pretended like he was talking to those guys, but he was really talking to me. He apologized.”

Ford stares at me for several silent seconds and then shakes his head and lets out a long breath. “Is it over? Can you let go now?”

I nod. “Even though he’s not here to witness it, I’ve decided to accept his apology.” I shrug my shoulders and start to cry. “I don’t want to hang on to that stuff anymore, Ford.”

Ford scoots around to the edge of the seat and pulls my head into his lap. “You’re allowed to do that, you know. It’s OK to forgive him and let it go.”

Spencer opens the door and jumps in the van, handing Ford the bag of spray. “You OK, Blackbird?”

“No, not yet,” I say as I sniffle my nose back under control. “But I will be if we can use that stuff to get Ronin out.”

“Lie back, Rook,” Ford says quietly as Spencer hands him a bag.

“I got you some shorts, too, Rook. Just cheap drugstore leftovers from summer, but it’ s better than sitting in your panties.” He winks down at me. “Not that we mind, you know, but I’m sure Ronin would not appreciate us driving you all over the Midwest in your panties.”

Ford hands me the shorts as Spencer takes us back on the road. I wiggle into them, which is not easy considering I’m sitting on the floor of a van behind some seats and my legs are burning like hell, but I manage