Cinderella Dressed in Ashes

with one gloved hand on her heart. “A Godmother—there’s always a Godmother—” she leaned forward, whispering and winking at Shew, “the Godmother appeared and helped the poor girl with her dress and a coach so she could attend the ball.  Of course, the prince fell madly in love with her without even asking her name. Love at first sight, you know. The girl had to get back home before midnight; afraid her stepmother would punish her and lock her inside the ash-covered room in their home again. And finally, we come to the most important part when she leaves a single shoe behind,” Carmilla’s eyes glittered, talking slower, and examining Shew’s face.

Shew thought it was amusing, compared to the way Carmilla had told the beginning of the tale. She’d been talking fast with no attention to details or passion in her voice, as if she were reading a grocery list.

“It was a single shoe that eventually led the prince to find his lost love. He walked around town, asking every girl he met to try on the shoe promising he’d marry her if it fit—some stupid prince, I must say.”  Shew wondered why the Queen told this tale if she thought it was so predictable and hated it so much.

“Some stupid prince indeed,” Bloody Mary suddenly appeared in the mirror, growling in her gushy voice.

Shew leaned back in her bed and looked away. Bloody Mary was young, but genuinely ugly and scary.

“Shut up, Mary,” the Queen said firmly. “Go back to whatever hell you came from. You’re scaring my daughter.”

“As you wish, my Queen,” Bloody Mary vanished from the mirror and Carmilla checked her beauty in it once more.

“So where was I?” she questioned, adjusting her crown.

“Stupid Prince, my majesty,” Tabula said. “I assume he found the poor girl eventually.”

“Ah, yes. One of the evil stepsisters, being unable to accept the fact that the prince liked her stepsister better, cut her toe off. Can you believe that? The little brat cut her toe off so the prince would choose her. I am always incredulous about the way girls are portrayed in these tales, helpless, disadvantaged, and afraid to be alone and never married.”

“You’re right, my majesty,” Tabula commented. “Women should be much stronger. What a horrible thing this stepsister did.”

“Well, let’s not be too harsh on the little brat,” Carmilla waved a hand in the air. “I did worse than cutting someone’s toe off for Angel—I’ve given him my flesh and blood. Right, Shew?'

Shew nodded, worried about the Queen’s suggestive implications.

Of course, you’ve done worse, you child killer!

“So where was I again?” Carmilla wondered.

“The girl cutting her toe off,” Bloody Mary snickered from inside the mirror without showing herself.

“I know you love this part, Mary,” Carmilla said. “So although the world conspired against the prince and the poor girl’s pure, puppy, pitiful love, he finally found her in the home of her stepmother.”

“Didn’t the shoe fit her stepsister?” Shew finally interacted.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Pigeons warned the prince about the stepsister and urged him to look at her foot after she had tried the shoe on. The prince saw that the stepsister was bleeding from the cut, and immediately knew the girl was an imposter.”

“She got what she deserved, my majesty,” Tabula said.

“Yes, she did, but we’re not talking about the stepsister. She is by no means the main character here,” Carmilla said. So, in the end, love, in its most cliched state, finally prevailed in this little Italian bedtime story. And the Creators clapped their hands, applauding the girl who went from rags to riches and won the prince’s heart,” Carmilla clapped her gloved hands elegantly, her palms barely touching.

“So what’s the point of this boring story, mother?” Shew dared to ask.

“I’ve always loved how impatient you are, Shew. You know impatient girls always get what they want, don’t you?” Carmilla said. “Here is the point of this glass shoe story—I told you the Godmother had given her a pair of glass shoes, didn’t I? Long boring story short, the love  between the prince and the girl made the Creators cry,” she pretended to wipe tears from her eyes, the way pantomime actresses did in old black and white movies. “So the Creators decided that to honor their love, they’d redesign the landscape of Italy into a shoe, an epitaph to the single shoe that saved the love of the shoe-crossed—I mean star-crossed—lovers.”

“So this is basically the story of how Italy came to be,” Tabula said. “I understand now.”

Shew wondered if Carmilla was talking about Cerene. But how was that possible? This story happened centuries ago. Maybe she was talking about Bianca, or Cerene’s ancestors.

“So back to that Slave Maiden,” the Queen said. “Her name means ashes in Italian. Suits her fine, actually,” Carmilla said. “She is a low life, will live a low life, and will die an even lower life. I’m only telling you this story so you’ll know the only thing she wants is to meet a prince. She wants to get rich without deserving it. Her friendship with you isn’t real. She’s playing with you. I won’t allow you to be fooled by a Slave Maiden like her.”

Shew wasn’t going to argue. She was now even more curious about Cerene.

 “I don’t want to hear that you’re talking to her again, understood?” Carmilla said.

“Of course, mother,” Shew finally said, wondering where Cerene was at the moment.

“Hmm,” Carmilla leaned slightly forward, looking in Shew’s eyes as if trying to see behind them. “Politeness is not one of your virtues, princess. I wonder if you’re trying to fool me. You know the consequences will be dire if you don’t do as I wish,” she patted Shew’s cheeks.

Carmilla’s words left Shew confused. Carmilla was putting on some kind of show, the same way she warned her about Cerene’s fake act of friendship. She knew Shew as stubborn, and that warning her would only encourage her to break the rule and meet Cerene again. Why would Carmilla do that?

“You know I make sure you feed, so you don’t want to keep away from me, believe me,” Carmilla said then showed her a small liver-shaped box. “Look what your mother brought you,” she said, opening the box.

Shew looked inside the box and felt dazed; her body leaned forward against her will, her fangs drawing out.

She was staring at a fresh liver.

“It’s ripe,” Carmilla said. “And it’s young,” she licked her lips. “I want to feed you the best, dear.”

 Shew pulled the liver up to her mouth and bit into it, sucking the blood dry. She didn’t know how the liver had been preserved. It was more like a bag filled with blood. The blood quenched Shew’s thirst, and she felt guilty for liking it.

This was a dream, a memory, nothing more, she told herself. The Queen was feeding her, awaiting her sixteenth birthday when she could either turn her into a vampire and fight on the side of Night Von Sorrow or kill her and eat her heart if she disobeyed.

“Good girl,” Carmilla said, a little iffy about the drops of blood spattered on her face. She was planning to feed her dangerous daughter day by day until her birthday arrived.

“I will be sending Dame Gothel to you later today to weigh your heart,” Carmilla said. “Be kind to her, and don’t bite her like last time,” she patted her daughter gently then wiped some of the blood from her lips with a red napkin.

Who the heck am I? What does being a Dhampir really mean? If I fed on so many people in the past, and if I killed all those teenagers in the Schloss, how can I be forgiven? How can I be the good one?

The blood had entered Shew’s veins like a drug, and she liked it. It was her nature, and it explained why the Wall of Thorns wanted to kill her. She was a Sorrow after all, and she had a big choice to make, to stay a Sorrow or fight the Sorrows.

“What do you mean by weighing my heart?” Shew asked.

Carmilla’s face knotted slightly. The Queen had a minimalist way of showing facial expressions as if not wanting to wrinkle her beautiful face. She had been working hard—killing girls and swimming in their blood—each week to stay beautiful. She wasn’t going to allow it to fade so easily, just to please her daughter with a tender smile. “Your heart needs to be weighed each week. No more questions asked. I offer you food and shelter and private schooling like a good mother. In exchange, I’d like you to do as I say without too many questions. Are we clear?”

Shew nodded.