In Too Deep

“Myth,” Colt says absently, reaching down to steal a lollipop that discarded on the edge of my plate. “And I have a few tricks up my sleeve,” he says, looking thoughtfully at the sucker.

I roll my eyes. This conversation needs to end. Now.

“Don’t listen to Logan, he’s afraid of girls as it is,” MJ says.

Logan gives her a look that’s the visual equivalent of stepping in gum.

Colt pops the sucker in his mouth and pats MJ on the top of her head like she’s four years old and just done something amusing. “Okay, kiddos, see you in class.” But before turning away, he bends down near my ear, removing the sucker. “If you’re free tonight, I thought maybe you could come by. We could watch a movie or something before you go away on break.” His breath smells of the strawberry sucker and I want to turn to him and taste it on his lips.

Before I have a chance to answer, Colt strolls away, leaving me looking after him with both intrigue and disgust. I am so screwed. 

Chapter 30

I’m a man on a mission, tossing dirty clothes in the basket in my closet, picking up stray socks, making my bed, even dusting with an old T-shirt. I don’t know the last time I dusted my room. Probably never. I search through a box in my closet. I know I have some candles in here somewhere. Finally I locate them.

Three thick white candles. A gift from a girl I hardly remember. A blonde I think. Jillian? Jenna? It doesn’t matter. I line the candles up on my dresser, the matches set beside them. Then I go to take a shower.

After a lengthy shower, I’m relaxed and spend time online searching for just the right movie. I find one about computer hackers, chuckling to myself and wondering if Taylor’s seen it. Probably not since it’s several years old.

I pay the small fee and download it on my computer. I check the clock again. I know Taylor’s finished with dinner by now. I decide to go and scrounge up some snacks for our movie night, and a diet Coke for Taylor. She won’t be able to resist me and all my careful planning. Girls are suckers for that shit.

Tonight will be perfect.

Several hours later, I’ve eaten all the snacks, burned the candles down to nubs and replayed through my mind all the things I wanted to do her about six times. She must have changed her mind about coming. It’s not like I really waited for her to answer me when I asked, er, told her to come. But that would have worked with most girls. They liked being told what to do. They claimed they didn’t like that macho bullshit, but from what I’d seen, they always responded well.

My phone buzzes on the nightstand. I glance at the caller ID. It’s Yes, aka Samantha. I don’t answer. Thirty minutes later, it buzzes two more times. I pick it up and text her back. I can’t escape what I am. And Taylor’s refusal to come here tonight affirms I shouldn’t even bother trying.

Chapter 31

The halls are deserted, many people having already left for summer break, but my parents are coming to get me tomorrow, since the drive is too long to make on a weeknight after work.

Colt’s offer to come by his room after dinner has been weighing on my mind since lunch. I wanted to hang out and watch a movie, but I’d convinced myself that was a bad idea, and instead spent the evening alone in the computer lab, messing around online, chatting with friends on the hacking sites and message boards I liked, which was always a good distraction.

Around midnight, my eyes are burning from staring at the computer screen for the past six hours. I wonder what Colt’s doing and if he’s still up. I wonder how long he waited before realizing I wasn’t coming. I’m starting to feel bad that I didn’t show. I glance at the clock again wondering if he’s still awake.

I decide that on my way to bed, I’ll walk past his room. If I see his light on under the door, I’ll knock. If the light is turned off, I won’t. I didn’t want to have that awkward moment where he thought I was coming for a late night booty call. Awk-ward, I giggle to myself.

Heading down the hall, I can tell from several doors down that his light is still on. Its faint glow floods through the crack by the floor. My heart speeds up at the thought of seeing him.

As I get closer, a knocking sound I can’t place grows louder. I stop in front of his door, confusion setting in. I raise my hand to knock when I hear it. A faint female voice moaning, followed by the knocking sounds again. She calls out Colt’s name. Holy shit!

I drop my hand, my fists balling up at my sides. My heart pounds in my chest in time with the knocking bed post against his wall.

Tears spring to my eyes. I have to get out of here. Now.  I turn and run down the hall, stumbling blindly, thankful no one’s around. I don’t know when it happened, but the tears are freely flowing down my cheeks. I trip and catch myself against the banister, breathing hard. My heart slams against my chest, beating so painfully I fear it may just stop working. I brace myself against the wall for support and sink slowly down to the floor.

What was I thinking liking Colt? He could not be trusted. No guy could. They thought with their dicks, plain and simple. I sniff and wipe my nose on my sleeve, not even trying to stop the tears from coming. It would be pointless. Despite my best intentions not to, I’ve fallen for Colt, and he’s already crushed my heart just like Wes had.

I don’t know how long I sat there feeling sorry for myself, but after a little while, I hear voices coming down the hall. Shit. I press myself closer to the wall, but there’s nowhere to hide.

“See ya soon,” a girl’s voice says sweetly. She rounds the stairs and stops in front of me. “Excuse me,” she says, stepping around me. I don’t bother looking up to investigate. Feet clad in sky high heels, leading to tanned, well-toned calves tell me everything I need to know. Yes is superior to me in every way. I didn’t want to further torture myself by looking into the face of the girl who’d just slept with Colt, so instead I keep my eyes trained on the floor.

She hurries down the stairs, moving faster than someone in heels that high should be able to. Clearly she knows her way around here since Colt hasn’t even bothered to walk her to the door. What an ass. But that’s probably for the best, since the last thing I need is to watch them share a goodbye kiss. My stomach churns just thinking about it.

But then I notice Colt’s footsteps are coming closer, continuing down the hall. The girl gave away my hiding spot when she spoke to me. Colt’s probably wondering who is out here at this hour.

I wipe at my face, knowing there’s no hiding my tear streaked cheeks, and mascara stained eyes.

The footsteps stop behind me. “Taylor?”

“Yeah,” I croak out without turning around.

Colt walks over, positioning himself on the stair in front of me. He crouches down, studying my face, looking concerned. He sits down facing me. “What’s wrong?” He brings his hand up to my cheek. I flinch like I’ve been slapped, and he quickly drops his hand, looking hurt and confused. Welcome to the club. “What is it?” his voice is soft, pleading.

I swallow down a fresh wave of emotion at his concern and meet his eyes. “Was that Yes?”

He nods, looking down at the floor. “Does that bother you?”

Hell yes! “Does it matter?”

He leans in closer. “It matters to me.” He reaches toward me, giving my hand a squeeze.

I pull back, not wanting him to touch me. “Don’t,” I say, my voice firm, unwavering.

He lets my hand drop. “I’m sorry, Taylor. I’m sorry I’m not the guy you want me to be. I can see it in your